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Clips from The Good Place - The Trolley Problem (S02E02)

"Is this a game? I go first. I call blue."
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"that you will run over."
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"Now, you can steer to another track, but on that track"
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"You don't know any of the workers."
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"and use his organs to do it."
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"Why not?"
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"Michael, you've been kind of quiet."
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"So I would dangle a sharp blade out the window"
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"Oh, I did the thing again, didn't I?"
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"Cool. Later, guys."
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"Sure, dog."
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"snooping around."
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"that someone will know we're pounding it out?"
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"as "pounding it out.""
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"Who cares about what other people might think"
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"Maybe you should talk about this with a friend."
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"that you don't want to talk to someone"
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"Michael's not going to learn"
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"how to be a good person overnight."
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"He's not even a person."
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"Teaching him to be good... it's like..."
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"I don't even know."
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"I'm sorry. Who is this conversation for again?"
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"But definitely a no on the rap musical?"
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"Check out my teleological suspension of the ethical."
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"Obviously, no one can ever know."
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"Well, my job is to make your experience here"
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"Hi, I'm your therapist, Janet."
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"in which a man steals a loaf of bread"
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""Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place."
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"so they're going to the Bad Place automatically.""
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"it's a negative 17 points..."
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"20 if it's a baguette because that makes you more French."
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"about questioning things that you take for granted,"
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"I mean, "I personally know that Victor Hugo"
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""If one of the lava monsters even gets near the guy,"
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"T-that's exactly what he said."
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"Oh, no, no, no. That'll only slow things down."
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"I just don't feel like you're engaging with the material..."
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"like with The Trolley Problem."
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"Here, let's try this."
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"Here are the levers to switch the tracks."
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"what did we learn?"
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"Oh, well, that's reassuring,"
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"because some of the parts of the fake people flew into my mouth!"
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"Well, they're fake people, but their pain is real."
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"I want to help you understand this."
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"Oh, uh, I-I thought maybe we would have a discussion."
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"so that way, I only kill one person."
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"It's your friend Henry there."
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"Chidi! How are you, mate?"
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"- Henry, move! - Anyway, long time no..."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Ethically speaking."
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"But I tell her she's pretty a hundred times a day,"
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"I just feel like Tahani's embarrassed"
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"It's my turn. I have a lot of problems, too, you know."
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"Perhaps we could kill two birds"
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"How would you feel about giving Jason and me couples therapy?"
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"and it's creating a small glitch."
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"This not-lady."
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"I think we've taken this trolley thing as far as it can go."
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"Eleanor's perfectly healthy."
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"I'm your hottest friend... No, Tahani."
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"I'm your nicest fr... No, Jason."
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"It's unethical."
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"ran him over with a trolley."
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"What?"
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"or one awesome dog or whatever."
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"I'm sorry. Old habits die hard."
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"you crushed with the trolley, though. Boom!"
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"I'm sorry, is this funny to you?"
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"No. No. Not all good."
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"or we'll end up getting tortured forever."
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"- But I said "my bad." - Out!"
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"You okay?"
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"Oh, okay."
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"I can't believe I actually thought"
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"using the thing that I love most in the world."
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"Oh, teaching. Right."
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"Oh, no, it's not your fault."
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"This is what he always wanted..."
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"to behave that way?"
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"He has massive amounts of unearned confidence"
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"and is utterly unaware of his own absurdity."
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"but I can't put my finger on what it is."
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"but it's hard to change all at once."
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"Can you give me a little more time?"
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"I agree to keep this on the DL for now,"
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"because she said I looked tired?"
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"Pulling an Eleanor in this case"
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"is lashing out when you feel like a failure."
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"You think I feel dumb and small?"
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"I'm an eternal being who can see in nine dimensions."
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"And please don't, because I can also see what you ate today."
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"Whatever."
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"What does that say about me? Ugh."
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"I call them "opposite tortures.""
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"Do you mean presents?"
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"Yeah. Honestly, I don't get the appeal."
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"I had Janet make you a never-ending shrimp dispensery."
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"And finally, Chidi."
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"This is a replica"
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"This isn't an apology."
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"No! Then this would be worthless."
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"Yes."
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"and I lashed out."
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"It's white chocolate, and it is nasty."
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"Our relationship has grown so much stronger"
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"I am very happy for the both of you."
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"And it's getting worse."
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"This is an exciting day."
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"We are going to tackle The Trolley Problem."
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"There's no... this is..."
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"No, this is a thought experiment first introduced"
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"by British philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967."
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"You are driving a trolley when the brakes fail,"
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"and on the track ahead of you are five workmen"
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"is one person you would kill instead of the five."
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"What do you do?"
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