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Clips from South Park - Night of the Living Homeless (S11E11)

"Ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor,"
South Park
"All right, this time, it's me and Kenny versus you two assholes."
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"as Eric Cartman attempts to jump his skateborad"
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"- Like it. - That's like recycling."
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"Excuse me."
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"Hi."
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"I've been saving up for a new X-Box game but..."
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"Oh crap."
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"Somebody has to be responsible."
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"Oh come on, that can't be why they're all here."
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"Yeah! I can't possibly jump these many homeless people."
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"maybe three,"
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"- Got any change? - No, sorry."
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"- Change? - Change?"
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"No! I don't have any change! I don't have any change!"
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"South Park has become overrun with the homeless."
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"shutting down roadways and making getting around impossible."
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"Many people are trapped throughout the town."
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"Help! Help us!"
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"Change?"
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"Our parents are stuck on top of a building in town."
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"Jump down! Go!"
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"Don't be crazy, Gerald. You'll never get through all those homeless people."
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"- Change? Change sir? - You got some change?"
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"Hold on. Can I just get back some of that change, please?"
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"I need a little... Anybody have some change?"
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"Change? Got any change?"
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"He gave one of the homeless twenty dollars yesterday--"
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"- Jump them? - I jump the homeless professionally."
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"You barely made it over one, fatass!"
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"Boys! Boys! I don't think you quite understand how the homeless function."
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"- Anything, Steven? - No."
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"Let us in! For God's sake, they're coming!"
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"See? Everything is there: Heart, lungs, kidneys."
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"Is that-- Is that some spare change?"
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"Somehow they're able to take our change"
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"It just wants... more change."
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"- What's it doing? - It's dying."
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"Excuse me, the front door was open. Can I borrow some change?"
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"Change?"
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"Get to Evergreen and find out how they got rid of the homeless!"
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"- What? You do? - How? Call the fire department."
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"Mary. Mary baby, are you all right?"
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"What happened, Glen?"
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"Because of all the homeless..."
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"I had two liens against my house and so the bank is foreclosing!"
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"- I'm not like them. - Not yet. It's only a matter of time."
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"Where am I supposed to put all my things?"
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"Just march your butts right back out of our town!"
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"Cartman?"
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"Oh God! It wasn't thirty, it was one!"
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"Please, we just want you to tell us"
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"Well, that was easy."
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"At first, there were only a few of them,"
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"that they could actually start renting apartments."
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"the homeless actually started buying homes."
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"The people living in the house right next door to you could be homeless"
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"That's when I started suspecting that my own wife..."
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"who I'd been living with for twenty years,"
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"After she died, I vowed I wouldn't let the homeless destroy our town!"
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"People in San Antonio got rid of their homeless"
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"No! You burned my lips off!"
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"No, no, no, we're not having Cartman jump any more homeless people, Kyle."
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"- Why are they turning? - What are they doing?"
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"In the city,"
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""Night of the Living Homeless""
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"I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time,"
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"Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation,"
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"I'm goin out to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind,"
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"I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with really big fat titties,"
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"So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine,"
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"Fine."
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"Oh, dude, what's with all the homeless people?"
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"Sir, could you move a little, please?"
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"Spare some change?"
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"Aw, dude, he smells like Kenny's house. Get out of here!"
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"You guys, that's not cool. These people have nowhere to go."
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"They don't have food or shelter. We have to do something."
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"Well dude, what are we supposed to do?"
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"Yeah, what are we supposed to do?"
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"No, Kyle's right, you guys. We should do something."
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"I know what you're thinking, Kyle, and I'm with you."
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"I know exactly what we should do."
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"Gather around and witness the glory"
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"over the homeless."
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"Yeah, it's all set."
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"He won't make it."
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"Excuse me, this isn't exactly what I had in mind!"
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"All right, here we go! Jimmy?"
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"Yes! I did it!"
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"I jumped over the homeless!"
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"- Yes! - Yes, yes!"
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"- That was a sweet idea, Kyle. - Goddamnit, that wasn't my idea!"
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"All right, people, we need to come up with answers."
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"There are homeless sprouting up all over town."
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"What are we supposed to do?"
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"- Well, I short of had an idea. - Please, Mr. Valmor."
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"We could give the homeless all designer sleeping bags and makeovers."
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"At least that way, they'd be pleasant to look at."
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"- Oh, that's a good one. - Good idea. I like it."
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"Well, I was thinking:"
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"We could turn the homeless into tires"
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"so that we'd still have homeless, but we could use them, on our cars."
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"- Oh, that's a good one. - Nice one, Randy."
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"All right, enough!"
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"I find this whole conversation to be extremely offensive!"
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"The homeless aren't monsters. They are people, like you and me!"
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"You mean they've adapted, copied our DNA."
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"I am the top researcher of homeless studies for Park County."
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"I don't know why more homeless people are showing up in town,"
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"but I do know..."
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"that we must be extremely careful."
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"If we give them anything, there could be more."
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"but I think you could use the money a lot more than I could."
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"Listen, I-I want you to take this. It's twenty dollars."
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"Got any more?"
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"No, that's-- I thought that was a lot."
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"Spare any change?"
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"You're welcome."
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