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Clips from The Simpsons - The Way of the Dog (S31E31)

"Ma'am, I know you were once"
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"Mm, not like you, no."
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"I knew when to keep quiet."
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"(crying): Please. My dog is having a breakdown."
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"So if these tears mean nothing to you..."
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"(sobbing)"
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"Look, I'm sorry,"
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"(whines, pants)"
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"You poor boy."
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"You've got a story to tell."
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"Could you teach us to do what you do?"
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"To see the world through his eyes?"
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"Oh, not through his eyes."
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"That's the point."
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"A dog's dominant sense is smell."
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"(sniffs) He sees the world with his nose,"
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"For instance, we see a lamppost."
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"♪ ♪"
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"(excited gibberish)"
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"Wants me to love him back."
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"But I can't."
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"A woman can only scoop so much poop."
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"Stay."
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"Good stay."
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"Mm..."
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"I'm trying. In the acknowledgements,"
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"Well, at least I can wash this filthy hat."
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"-Ow! -(Homer shrieks)"
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"(stammering)"
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"Bad dog! Very bad dog!"
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"Crap dog!"
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"(whining)"
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"Lisa, quick! Get the first aid kit!"
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"But we don't have a first aid kit."
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"-Look under the tree. -Oh."
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"(whines)"
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"You are not the boss here!"
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"Well, I am, and he paid me to tell you what to do."
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"This boy is sleeping outside."
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"Yes, sir."
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"(Marge sighs)"
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"There are a lot of dog doctors out there."
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"(humming)"
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"What's up with you, fella?"
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"Um, he bit my mom."
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"Oh, I see. Well, we've had a cancellation,"
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"so if you like, we can just put him down right now."
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"-What?! -No!"
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"Oh, no, I'm afraid once a biter always a biter."
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"Unless you, like, train 'em or something,"
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"Would you like a minute to say goodbye?"
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"No way. We're leaving."
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"What are we going to do with the dog?"
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"so I'm supposed to wait until animal control gets here"
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"to take him away."
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"-(gasps) -What?"
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"So, uh, well, while we wait,"
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"uh, you want to play Simon Says?"
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"Simon says don't kill our dog."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoI'm Simon."
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"(moans) Dad! They're coming for our dog!"
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"I won't let you, you... you big blue balloon."
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"Ooh, I like the image. Hey, imagine me in a parade, huh?"
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"Oh, boy."
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"we are not letting you take our dog."
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"I can't cancel. They're already on the app."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Oh, they missed a turn."
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"Oh, now they're doing a U-ey."
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"Geez, hope this guy euthanizes better than he drives."
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"Dad, quick, take our dog"
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"and drive as far and fast as you can."
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"-(whispers): Yes, sir. -(knocking on door)"
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"(all gasp)"
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"Oh, God, it's too late."
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"Look, I need to tell you this one thing."
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"He's at breaking point, and unless he has"
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"some kind of catharsis, something terrible could happen."
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"He bit my mom."
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"It is gratifying to be right."
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"Oh, how awful."
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"You can't stop them. They got sticks with wire loops."
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"And I'll need this. This dog is coming with me."
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"-Make me a sandwich. -No."
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"Being a police chief really sucks."
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"-Here you go. -(sniffles)"
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"(moans)"
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"Listen, I packed you some biscuits."
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"And even though I deplore the killing of all animals,"
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"when you come to the salami, it's from me."
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"(moans) Now who will chase squirrels with me?"
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"(whines)"
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"Wait. I'm not an emotional guy, but..."
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"(chuckles) Get a doghouse, you two."
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"(dogs barking)"
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"Here. Have some Snausage water as you watch this video."
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"NARRATOR: Here at the Institute, there are no bad dogs."
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"In answer to the age-old question,"
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""Who's a good dog?" You are. You are."
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"or enjoy fine dining at The Dropped Porkchop."
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"And here's our guarantee to you: no fireworks."
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"We'll have you feeling better in no time."
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"Well, uh, there's nothing physically wrong with you,"
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"but to establish trust, I'll sleep in your den tonight."
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"Well, a little bit of, uh, reading before bed? (chuckles)"
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"(sighs)"
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"♪ ♪"
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""Dog having nightmare,"
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"(barks)"
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"Oh, you poor thing."
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"Have some Lambien. It'll help you sleep."
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"(moans contentedly)"
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"Dad, am I gonna get my dog back?"
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"(laughs): Of course."
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"But just in case, I know this isn't the kind of thing"
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"Almighty patron saint of dogs, Saint Bernard..."
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"-Oh, can I join in? -Sure."
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"-I'll pray, too. -Wow."
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"Losing our dog, possibly forever,"
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"No!"
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