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Clips from The Simpsons - Marge the Lumberjill (S31E31)

"Homie, I feel like"
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"I'm my very best self in these competitions."
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"You are, honey."
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"In a way I could never make you feel or comprehend."
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"If I do, I'll be gone for a month."
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"A month? We've never been apart that long."
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"I miss you when we're separated in a revolving door."
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"I miss you when I'm putting a sweater over my head."
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"I miss you when I close my eyes during a sneeze."
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"I miss you when the clock springs ahead an hour."
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"We'll never get that time back."
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"knowing how much I need this"
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"to feel good about myself?"
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"Yes, I do."
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"-(grumbles) -What? What?"
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"Where you going? She might leave and never come back."
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"Just like the McRib."
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"(thunder crashes)"
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"Oh. I forgot to unlock the door."
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"God, how insulting to people."
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"Let's just enjoy Portland."
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"I mean, I can't believe we've never been here before."
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"Indigenous artworks, craft breweries,"
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"independent movie theaters--"
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"and that's just in one coffee shop."
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"Yes, I often come here to recharge."
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"In Portland I'm quirky, rather than objectionable."
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"(acoustic Simpsons theme playing)"
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"Stupid Flanders Street."
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"Okay, this is where your mom is."
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"Help me get her back."
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"Please help me get her back."
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"Ooh. Hello, Nicolas Cage."
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"(growls)"
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"Dad, she's gonna know that's not your real hair."
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"It's a snap."
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"Cool."
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"-(knocking on door) -Welcome, new friend,"
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"whoever you are."
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"Homie!"
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"You're here a day early."
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"BOTH: Mom!"
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"Mm. Oh, I've missed you all so much."
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"How are you guys?"
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"Oh! We were, of course, unraveling."
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"Bart, Lisa, your grampa is taking good care of you."
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"-(meows) -Now where's the baby?"
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"Aw. Good girl."
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"Um, I like what you're wearing."
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"Thank you. These are locally-sourced dungarees"
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"and Pendleton flannel."
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"(gasps) Jill Sobule?"
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"Like every other place we go, I love Portland."
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"So much, I want to leave Springfield"
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"until I find out something bad that makes me realize"
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"Now, now, your mother has not settled in here."
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"PAULA: Welcome."
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"These are our pugs: Nike and Swoosh."
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"BOTH: Mwah."
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"Marjorie, could you and I have a word in the backyard?"
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"Don't you see what's happening here?"
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"-To you. -No, to her. Look around."
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"You're married in the two most important ways there are:"
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"emotionally and cooking."
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"(chuckles): Oh. That's ridiculous."
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"(quietly): You're fostering pugs."
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"-They remind me of you. -Aw."
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"But I am upset. I'm finally good at something"
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"Marge, sweetie, I'm really proud of you."
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"I'm not jealous or mad."
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"It's just... when are you coming home?"
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"Woo-hoo! I win."
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"-Not that I was nervous. -(phone vibrating)"
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"Unless we win, in which case,"
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"I might stay and prep for the finals."
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"Marge, I've backed you in this from day one."
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"No, you haven't. Not a bit."
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"and my wife's in love with a female lumberjack."
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"Springfield."
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"-Which one? Oregon? -I don't know."
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"ANNOUNCER: Welcome back to the Grizzly Timbersports"
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"Northwest Championship Finals,"
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"brought to you by no one."
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"And when I fall, I fall hard."
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"I'm taking you home with me."
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"Hold the Stella, fella."
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"Carol "Oak" Connor and Rachel "The Pine" Cohen"
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"have taken command."
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"I can't be silent anymore. Let me through."
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"-Eh. -There's plenty of room."
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"-Marge, I was a lumber-jerk. -(grunting)"
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"I'm only happy if you're happy."
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"Our love is like an old tree."
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"(quietly): Um, that's not how trees work."
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"Well, according to my book, it is."
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"-Yay! All right. -(cheering)"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, our grand champion"
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"and winner of a Bass Pro Shops $50 gift card,"
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"Marge Simpson."
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"-(exclaims) -All right, champ!"
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"Congratulations, Paula. You won."
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"Enjoy the hell out of her."
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"Homer, what is it you think that I've won?"
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"With me, Marge is a good woman."
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"With you, Marge is a great woman with two awesome dogs."
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"I'm not interested in Marge."
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"She's in Tokyo, training for the Olympics."
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"She dances..."
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"with the ribbons?"
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"So you're not breaking us up?"
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"No. I mean, I'll miss her on the other end of the bucksaw,"
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"but she's welcome to come up here and train any time."
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"I am so grateful. I want to do something for you."
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"If you'd like another kid,"
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"I am more than happy to offer up my sperm."
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"That's very kind, but..."
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"No really, I've always wanted to have a kid"
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"with no responsibilities."
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"All right. You're in the top three."
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"Oh, I get it."
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