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Clips from NewsRadio - Hair (S05E05)

"Sir, I think you're confusing the hippie with the piranha."
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"at a-- At a concert given by a Grateful Dead cover band."
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"So would I, but that's got nothing to do with hippies."
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"Hi, guys. Hey, Matthew."
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"Mr. James, may I present to you the answer to all your problems?"
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"And what would that be? Hypnotism."
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"Joe, you don't know anything about hypnotism."
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"Human. What up?"
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"Joe, you didn't hypnotize him. You just told him to do that."
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"Dave, with Matthew, telling him to do something is hypnotism."
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"[CLUCKS]"
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"Okay. Ahem. What are you proposing?"
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"Well, sir, obviously, your imagination"
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"into something much bigger than it actually was."
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"back to the summer of 1968"
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"to show you what harmless pansies hippies really are."
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"That's an idea."
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"Wait, I thought hippies were cool. JIMMY: No!"
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"They're evil thugs with an utter disregard for human life."
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"Wow, live and learn."
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"Matthew? Yeah?"
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"Chicken. [CLUCKING]"
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"Here, Frankie. Come on, boy."
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"Frankie, attaboy. What are you guys doing?"
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"What are you guys doing? We're trying to call your dog."
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"Well, that's easy. Daisy. Come here, Daisy."
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"Come here. Good girl. [SIGHS]"
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"What habit?"
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"That her name is Daisy."
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"No. It's not anymore. Now her name is Frankie."
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"Oh, look. Daisy's a beautiful name."
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"But it's hardly what you would call manly."
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"Well, Daisy is a girl."
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"Lisa, all dogs are boys. All cats are girls."
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"Is that right, Max? Exactly."
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"Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this."
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"But Daisy is obviously, and I mean obviously, a girl."
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"It's not a question of sex, but of gender."
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"Sex and gender are the same thing."
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"Well, since you have neither, that must be very sad for you."
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"Every muscle in your body is totally relaxed."
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"Okay, how do you feel?"
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"Very relaxed."
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"You're gonna be back in the summer of 1968."
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"Understand? Yes."
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"You'll still be in this office. So you'll be perfectly safe."
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"But it'll be the summer of 1968."
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"The summer of 1968."
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"Okay. One, two, three."
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"Joe! Are you there?"
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"JOE: Right here, Mr. James. You just can't see me."
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"Okay."
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"Whoa! God, Joe!"
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"I'm-- I'm in my old ranger uniform."
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"This is so weird."
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"You're telling me."
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"I don't know. Joe counted to three"
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"Dude, you were like a baby in 1968."
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"Yeah, well, I'm here now, Mr. Hypnotist."
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"You look great. Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot."
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"Don't do it, Joe."
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"I-I can't believe I'm saying it, but I need him here."
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"[♪]"
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"Okay, now I want you to step slowly through this door"
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"Joe. This place is crawling with hippies."
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"Don't worry, Mr. James. Ah!"
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"They're just harmless hippie people,"
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"[WHIMPERING]"
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"JIMMY: Longhaired hippie people, Joe."
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"Scary hippie monster men."
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"of miniskirt-wearing hippie chicks."
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"Hey, baby. Where's the love end, huh?"
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"No, no. Please. Don't, don't, don't."
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"I'll-- I'll-- I'll be good. I promise."
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"All right now, Mr. James, before I have you"
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"relive your attack,"
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"I think you should walk around and soak it all in."
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"All right. Ahem."
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"[WHIMPERS]"
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"Wow, I-- I can't believe it."
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"Totally."
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"Oh, my God. Look."
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"Through the doorway. That's Vietnam."
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"[EXPLOSIONS]"
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"What? Dude, Vietnam is not in the foyer."
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"I just call 'em like I sees 'em."
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"That is not Vietnam in the foyer."
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"Well, what is it then?"
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"Uh, it's some kind of a magical candy land."
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"With mountains made of gumdrops."
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"Well, I don't see what Mr. James is so scared about."
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"These people seem so-- Oh, my-- I know you."
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"Joe, Matthew's kinda ruining it for me."
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"I'm on it. Sorry, Matthew. Party's over."
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"No, no, no, no, don't. I-- I-- I like hippies."
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"Thanks again, Joe. No problem."
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"Okay. Can I, uh...?"
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"Wait. You're letting her chew on a shoe?"
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"It's a really bad habit. Now she's gonna start"
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"chewing on my shoes when she gets home."
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"Well, actually, you know what? This is one of your shoes. Yeah."
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"It's all right. Pay no attention to him."
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"to have to tell you this,"
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"but I am afraid"
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"you can no longer play with my puppy."
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"Now you've turned her into--"
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"I turned her into what? You've turned her into Max."
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"H-how you doing, sir?"
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"Huh? Well, I'm-- I'm pretty good. Pretty good,"
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"But don't worry, Dave. I mean,"
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"When they come after me, I'll be ready."
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"[IMITATES SCRAPING]"
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"I let him think he has a machete."
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"Joe, look. This is-- This is dangerous."
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"You should snap him out of it. Relax, dude."
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"Joe, please. All right, fine."
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"Mr. James, I order you to come back now."
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"Whoa. Heh-heh!"
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"That was weird."
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"Okay. So you're back with us now?"
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