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Clips from NewsRadio - Hair (S05E05)

"Well, that's not a favor, son. That's a contractual obligation."
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"Yeah. I need to borrow your office for a meeting."
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"Uh, well, sure, but why don't you use your own office?"
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"Well, I would. I would. But my office is kind of intimidating."
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"The marble and the hunting trophies,"
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"the wet bar and the, uh, loaded spear gun on the desk?"
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"Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I'm meeting one of those"
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"young, uh, Silicon Valley billionaire whiz kids."
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"You know how those computer types can be."
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"Smart? No, nerds."
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"I don't wanna scare the little guy."
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"[BETH LAUGHING]"
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"Beth? Beth, what are you doing?"
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"[LAUGHING] Lisa's puppy is licking peanut butter off my hand."
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"Lisa?"
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"Ehhh!"
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"[♪]"
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"Good puppy. You are such a good puppy."
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"Hi. I'm here to see Jimmy James."
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"Oh, yeah, sure. And I'm waiting"
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"Uh, I'm expected."
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"I'm Eric Stark from Starkware."
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"[WHISPERS] Okay."
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"Mr. James, your computer whiz nerd billionaire is here."
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"Oh, good. Send him in."
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"Hi, I'm, uh, Eric Stark."
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"Hi, Dave Nelson. Nice to meet you."
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"Dave, can I see you for a moment?"
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"Excuse me just a moment."
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"Sir, that's-- That's Eric."
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"It's your-- Your computer billionaire that you--"
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"I, um..."
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"Out! Out of the office now. Get out. Out. Out."
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"He's like that all the time?"
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"He seems to be getting worse."
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"Beth, will you reschedule Mr. Stark for tomorrow?"
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"Yes, Dave. When I get a minute. DAVE: Of course."
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"We are just so busy, aren't we? Yes, we are."
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"We only have time for donuts. What are you doing?"
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"Oh, well, allow me to demonstrate."
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"Um, Daisy."
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"Donut."
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"No. Beth, no. I mean, she's not allowed to have donuts."
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"She's on a very strictly regimented diet."
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"High in protein, low in carbs. She only eats twice a day."
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"And I was allowed to have carbs as a treat on weekends."
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"My dog growing up ate donuts all the time,"
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"and it was totally healthy."
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"Really? How old did that dog live to be?"
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"The normal age."
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"[♪]"
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"Halt."
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"Sir? He's okay."
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"What? How do you stand on peace?"
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"I say give it a chance."
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"You have some sort of a problem with hippies?"
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"You could say that."
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"But that guy isn't even a hippie."
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"Yeah, maybe. But he wears his hair like Cousin Itt."
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"Yes, I hate hippies, granted."
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"But, no. Mr. James came up with this totally on his own."
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"All right, just tell me what this is all about."
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"Well, I had kind of a traumatic experience"
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"with a bunch of hippies."
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"Back in the summer of 1968."
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"A traumatic experience?"
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"Yeah, they beat the crap out of me."
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"Wait. Hippies-- Hippies are supposed to be non-violent."
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"Now you know better, don't you, boy?"
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"At one point, uh,"
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"I asked this, you know, group of flower children--"
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"Nicely, mind you. --"Would you please"
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"pick up your candy wrapper?" And?"
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"And they beat the crap out of me!"
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"Well, it's just like-- Yeah, just like that!"
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"nothing to do with them longhairs."
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"I'm gonna go kick some hippie ass."
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"All right, Joe, wait, now stay. Come back. I need you."
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"Now, sir, was that meeting worth some money to you?"
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"Yeah. About 50 mil."
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"You're gonna throw away $50,000,000"
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"It's an irrational terror, Dave."
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"You can't put a price on irrational terror."
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"I just-- I can't-- I can't do business with--"
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"They're all-- They're a bunch of damn longhairs."
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"Bill Gates isn't."
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"Yeah, but he's got one of those Beatle haircuts."
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"I'd say it's more like Moe from the Three Stooges."
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"But you're right, it's terrifying."
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"And now news you can use."
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"In Washington, the Consumer Product Safety Commission"
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"released a new list of unsafe products today."
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"Uh, the Commission, a non-profit public advocacy group"
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"focused its attention--"
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"Uh, focused its attention on products that it claimed"
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"What are you guys doing to my dog?"
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"There's nothing natural about feeding her"
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"her mother would have done it?"
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"Beth? With her nipples."
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"Exactly. Only I don't have any of those."
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"You know, somebody had to watch your dog"
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"while you were off in the booth."
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"You're not taking care of her. You spoil her with junk food."
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"Lisa, I don't mean to be judgmental."
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"I really don't. But maybe if you fed her sometime--"
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"I feed her."
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"Max eats too much. You don't see us"
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"starving him, do you?"
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"Thank you. You're welcome."
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"Oops. Your dog made a little messy."
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"Oh, good puppy."
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"You're right, Dave. You're right."
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"I'm-- I'm-- I'm losing money hand over fist."
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"'Cause I'm scared, all right? Yeah."
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"I'm-- I'm scared of a bunch of-- Of a bunch of--"
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"Tie-dyed cannabis-sucking freaks?"
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"Bingo. That's right,"
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"but you-- You don't know 'em like I do, Dave."
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"The hippie is the most dangerous creature on the Earth."
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"All they think about is blood."
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