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Clips from The Simpsons - Highway to Well (S31E31)

"¶ ¶"
The Simpsons
"W-- A-After she falls down?"
The Simpsons
"(quietly): We're not supposed to judge."
The Simpsons
"Hmm. Hmm."
The Simpsons
"(quietly): Am I the only one who heard that?"
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"(groans) Mm."
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"(humming)"
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""Sex-prise your man at work.""
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"so we'll have to snuggle under the desk."
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"(sighs) Now how do I fill the day? Hmm."
The Simpsons
"Ugh, why is everyone talking to me?"
The Simpsons
"to take your pre-application ethics assessment."
The Simpsons
"Welcome to the Well and Good family."
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"I-- The-the tincture is more expensive, I guess."
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"has won me over. I'll take both. Yes..."
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"You're gonna fit in great here."
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"I'm sorry."
The Simpsons
"Like, I'm asking."
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"Drederick Tatum! (gasps) I own your countertop grill."
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"But anyway, after my boxing career ended,"
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"I was in a lot of pain."
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"and medicinal hits from a Pikachu bong,"
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"and cutting-edge delivery systems,"
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"And what do you need me for?"
The Simpsons
"Well, I learned that the former heavyweight champion"
The Simpsons
"of the world owns a marijuana store."
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"(sighs) But I'm not going to be a reefer saleslady."
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"Cannabis is legal in this state."
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"Yeah, it's basically the same thing"
The Simpsons
"as working in a liquor store."
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"Mm..."
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"drizzled with ranch pudding."
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"Get it?"
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"We can't fix your phone,"
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"Why not try some yummy gummies?"
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"This big shot here is the principal"
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"Oh, I love it."
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"All right, pump the brakes, Jhorts."
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"I don't know. Just hook me up."
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"-Do you want this in flower... -Yeah."
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"Nothing makes sense anymore!"
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"Stoners will never know the joy of sitting on the toilet"
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"made it feel like you were scoring weed"
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"Yeah, that being said,"
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"-Right this way, fellas. -(door squeaks)"
The Simpsons
"¶ ¶"
The Simpsons
"Whoa, tight. Come on in, gentlemen."
The Simpsons
""compliant with all laws and statutes."
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"everything smells like a damp swimsuit..."
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"(chuckles) I was that guy for my old roommate Scott."
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"This is The Drederick."
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"It's a fully realized cannabis resort and spa."
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"Oh, I'd love to."
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"-This is what he's doing. -(gasps)"
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"(moans) Oh, he knows how much self-esteem I get"
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"When Homer realizes how much this is hurting me,"
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"I'm a healer, and you're a dealer."
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"I can quit whenever I want. I just don't want to."
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"I make CNN much funnier!"
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"-(humming) -Homer wouldn't quit."
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"my face will just be me."
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"even one bite, we go in and take him down."
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"(groans softly)"
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"Will you accept this apology gift for you and your friends?"
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"-(groans) -(high-pitched ringing)"
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"If Simpson keeps eating like this,"
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"he'll hit bottom dust before anyone takes the bait."
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"-Would anyone care to partake? -Hmm."
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"(both gasp)"
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"Code Orange. Go, go, go!"
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"Oh, God!"
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"We got everything we need."
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"You're shut down, pal."
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"You're coming with us, scumbag, to pay a $25 fine."
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"(moans softly)"
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"about the... you know, the treachery."
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"(sighs) That guy is on alcohol."
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"Please don't ruin this."
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"This is cannabinoid health, and I am its face."
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"Sexist!"
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"-Oh, yeah. -Good point. -That is sexist."
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"Look, I don't have a problem with pot."
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"See? Nothing."
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"but I feel high."
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"Okay, okay, listen."
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"What you need to understand is this: I'm high, too!"
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"(laughs)"
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"(laughs)"
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"I've got to come down. I've got to eat something."
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"the most potent thing here."
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"What do I do with my arms? Okay, got it."
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"This is normal."
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"(takes deep breath)"
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"-Hmm? (sighs) -HOMER: Honey, it's me."
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"Homie."
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"Here, I'll smoke one of your futuristic joints."
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"Hemp clothes burns like paper!"
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"(psychedelic music playing)"
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"-MARGE: Oops. -Be cool."
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"We'll get through it somehow."
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"Well, can I come with y... (sighs)"
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"¶ ¶"
The Simpsons
"Aw, man, they were teaching her Mandarin."
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"Even though they say something's not addictive,"
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"(panting) Hi. Sorry we're late."
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"This is Maggie. We're here for our first day."
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"Hello, Maggie. And who will be picking her up?"
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"No, at the end of the day."
The Simpsons
"Wait, I don't stay with her?"
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"Research shows pre-toddlers learn best"
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"in a parent-free environment."
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"Unless you want to stunt her growth, which is great."
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"No, no, it's not that."
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"I just don't want Maggie to feel abandoned."
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"(giggling)"
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"So, we'll see you at 4:00."
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"Oh. Okay, then."
The Simpsons
"Hmm. Now what will I do with the rest of my day?"
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"I know. I'll ask my favorite mommy blog."
The Simpsons
"Come on! I want to see you bitches suffer!"
The Simpsons
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