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Clips from The Love Boat (1977) - A Tasteful Affair/Oh, Dale!/The Main Event (S01E01)

"Really? I lied about the figure skating."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( laughs ) ( groans )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, I tried skeet shooting once, I couldn't hit a thing."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Yeah, well, I developed a technique."
The Love Boat (1977)
"It always works."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Keep my right elbow close to my side. Mm-hm."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Not too close."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Left arm is firm, not too firm."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Take a deep breath, line up the shot,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and as I pull the trigger... ( gunshot )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I think of my ex-wife."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Oh, Barney. I know sometimes when people get divorced"
The Love Boat (1977)
"they have unhappy memories."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I have happier memories of an ingrown toenail."
The Love Boat (1977)
"It doesn't always have to be like that, Barney,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"if you and I got married."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Judy, there are two things I vowed"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I would never get into again."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Edsel stock and marriage."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Oh, what she was like."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I mean, she treated me like slime."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Treated my friends worse."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Worse than slime? Yeah, take Harry."
The Love Boat (1977)
"From the sanitation department?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"She wouldn't let him in the house."
The Love Boat (1977)
"She let him come in, but she wouldn't let him touch anything."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Do you know what it's like to play poker with a guy"
The Love Boat (1977)
"who's standing up and wearing gloves?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Hated my job."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Thought life insurance was morbid."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, Barney."
The Love Boat (1977)
"It's only morbid when you're collecting."
The Love Boat (1977)
"The more I think about it, the more steamed up I get."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( tense theme playing )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"My, God, there's Terry. ( cocks gun )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Barney, it isn't worth it."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Bet I could have winged her. Barney."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Yeah."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Now, listen, you. Huh?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I know breakfast is not the most romantic meal of the day,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"but if I can't get to see you over martinis,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"at least I saw you over Rice Krispies."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I thought it was very romantic,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"and I got to learn all these little intimate details"
The Love Boat (1977)
"about you."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You like strawberries on your cereal,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"two sugars in your coffee. ( chuckles )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"You're not grumpy in the morning."
The Love Boat (1977)
"How can anybody be grumpy around you?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"WOMAN: Hup, hup, hup, hup."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Oh, come on, Jimmy, you call that jogging?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"That's not even a brisk walk. Come on."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You wanna see grumpy? Hup, hup, hup, hup..."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( dramatic theme playing )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"( mellow theme playing )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Now the Golden Gate Bridge is the longest suspension bridge"
The Love Boat (1977)
"in the world. Sorry,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"but the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge in New York"
The Love Boat (1977)
"outspans it by 60 feet."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Except the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge in New York,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"which outspans it by 60 feet."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Such stimulating conversation."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You have me on the edge of my seat."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( chuckles )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"By the way, you two are a very interesting combination."
The Love Boat (1977)
"A grandmother from England and a grandson from Brooklyn."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, my daughter couldn't resist a man in uniform."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Ahh."
The Love Boat (1977)
"He was an American soldier stationed in Britain?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"No. A bus driver in Brooklyn."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( chuckles )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Actually, there are any number of bridges"
The Love Boat (1977)
"longer than the Golden Gate,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"but they're not suspension bridges."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Advanced for his years, isn't he?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"He's great at being adult,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"but he knows nothing about being 12."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Hello, Ms. Pickrel."
The Love Boat (1977)
"KITTY: Oh, hello."
The Love Boat (1977)
"KELLY: Hi, Doc. BRICKER: Hi."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( as The Claw ): The Claw."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Igor, the curse of my royal blood,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"it happens only around beautiful women."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Guess he just doesn't like me."
The Love Boat (1977)
"But he called you a beautiful woman, didn't he?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Come to think of it, he did."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( groans )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"What are you doing on my ship?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I'm taking a friend on a cruise."
The Love Boat (1977)
"What are you doing on my ship?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"A man, by the way, who makes you look like chopped liver."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You ought to meet my girlfriend."
The Love Boat (1977)
"She's young... and attractive."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I saw her."
The Love Boat (1977)
"How many years before she graduates high school?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"She has a masters in Anthropology. She's intelligent."
The Love Boat (1977)
"And she's with you?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Couldn't you have taken the plane?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Why couldn't you have used your broom?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"What do you want me to do, jump overboard?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Yeah. I'll throw you a rope."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Both ends."
The Love Boat (1977)
"( groans )"
The Love Boat (1977)
"You're not gonna cause any trouble, are you?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"What do you mean? Well..."
The Love Boat (1977)
"when Ron couldn't straighten out the problems"
The Love Boat (1977)
"you and I were having, and..."
The Love Boat (1977)
"I ended up with him,"
The Love Boat (1977)
"you sort of threatened to rearrange his face."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Me?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"I don't go in for physical violence."
The Love Boat (1977)
"If I hit him at all, it'll be very lightly."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Julie? Yes?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Can I talk to you woman to woman?"
The Love Boat (1977)
"Absolutely."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Well, I can't really talk to my father"
The Love Boat (1977)
"about something like this, so..."
The Love Boat (1977)
"Okay. Shoot."
The Love Boat (1977)
"You went through puberty, right?"
The Love Boat (1977)
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