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Clips from Schitt's Creek - Milk Money (S02E02)

"LENA: I love your top, where'd you get it?"
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"- Oh, just a shop in Elmdale."
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"MOIRA: Colour me impressed."
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"It takes a real eye to find something of quality"
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"- Oh no, just a little bit of luck,"
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"and the right... salesperson."
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"Any of that vodka left?"
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"- And here I thought you were against this type of campaigning."
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"- Who says this has anything to do with the campaign?"
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"(Vodka sloshes)"
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"(Roland groans)"
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"- Just remember, no sudden movements,"
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"do not reach for the glove box,"
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"and not matter what happens do not tell them your real name."
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"- Uh huh... - What?!"
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"(Roland pants, whimpers)"
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"WOMAN OFFICER: Turn off your truck, please."
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"ROLAND: Yes, sir."
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"- Okay, who do we have here?"
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"- Oh, um..."
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"that's uh, Jennifer."
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"And then he's um... Jacob."
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"And then I'm also Jacob."
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"Well, you can look at our drivers' licences,"
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"if you don't believe me!"
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"- Yeah, I'm just joking."
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"We don't have drivers' licences."
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"- Um-- - No, yeah, we do have driver's licenses,"
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"we don't have those names on our driver's license."
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"WOMAN OFFICER: I'm gonna talk to someone else."
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"Jennifer? - Actually, my birth name is Angelica."
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"- We're out here today checking for illegal game."
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"Have you folks been hunting?"
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"JOHNNY: Hunting? No, no. We don't uh, hunt."
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"I mean, there's n-no hunting going on here."
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"No illegal-- yeah,"
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"you won't find any illegal game here, that's for sure."
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"- No! (Roland and Alexis laugh)"
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"- So, what do you have there in the back?"
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"- Um, actually, we're just taking some milk to a co-op."
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"- What kind of milk?"
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"- Cow milk."
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"- So you three are dairy farmers?"
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"- Mhmm... - Yes, yes, dairy farmers."
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"Hard work, hard work, 'Cause you get up you know,"
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"so early, but uh-- - But we love it."
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"We do. - You farm in that suit?"
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"- When the weather's good."
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"- I'm gonna need you to pull over, Jacob."
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"- Jacob? - Jacob."
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"- Jacob? - What?!"
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"- She wants you to pull over."
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"- Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, I thought you were talking"
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"(David sighs)"
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"(Door creaks, slams)"
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"MOIRA: David? David, is that you?"
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"- Yeah..."
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"- Will you come in here a minute, please?"
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"- Uh huh? - You've had a long day."
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"Come sit."
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"Don't be such a prickly pear."
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"I just wanna check in with my son."
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"My first born."
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"(Sighs) - Mhmm..."
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"- So you're enjoying that new job of yours?"
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"So... sure."
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"- I was wondering what kind of customers do you get"
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"at a store like that?"
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"- Different kinds."
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"Different people come in."
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"- Are they mostly locals from Elmdale,"
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"or do people travel from far and wide"
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"to benefit from the expertise of a David Rose?"
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"- Okay, well if someone is looking for my advice,"
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"then I am more than happy to provide."
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"- I saw Jocelyn today. - You did?"
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"- Mhmm, she looked very different."
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"Mostly improved, though I must say,"
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"I didn't like the matchy matchy skirt and blazer!"
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"No, she looked like an aging stewardess"
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"from a Latvian airline!"
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"- I told her not to wear the jacket with the skirt,"
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"so... I don't know."
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"- And whose idea was the hair thing?"
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"- I-I may have suggested..."
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"a slightly more contemporary look."
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"- I understand, I understand. It's water under the bridge."
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"- Well I'm sorry, I felt very..."
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"conflicted about the whole thing."
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"- Of course you were."
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"Now will you be a doll, and fetch Mummy a knife?"
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"- A knife? - Oh, I'm sorry,"
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"I think you'll find one lodged in the middle of my back."
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"- Okay, well, that's a lot."
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"- And when you pull it out of my back..."
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"- ...you can plunge it into my heart!"
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"- Okay, all right."
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"- Plunge it into my heart! (Sighs)"
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"- Thank you, Jacob."
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"Have a good day."
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"- Well, there it goes."
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"- $400.00 worth of milk."
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"- I feel like this is partly my fault."
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"- Partly?!"
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"- Roland was the one who completely blew it back there!"
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"ROLAND: What?! Did you not see me playing that cop?"
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"when I was done with her!"
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"- The smell of this milk is making me super nauseous."
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"- Oh come on, guys, let's not end on a down note here,"
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"this was a good day, let's end on an up note!"
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"- Enough Roland, just get the cans in the truck, please."
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"- Pick it up and put it on the truck!"
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"- Yes! Oh... okay."
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"Grab that one, put that on the truck,"
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"and then I'll organize the rest so you can grab 'em,"
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"and put 'em on the truck."
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"- Roland. - How are 'ya?"
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"- Okay, I'm driving, I'm driving! ALEXIS: Okay."
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"to the other Jacob."
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"- Raw milk. - Shhh!"
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