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Clips from Gilmore Girls - Kill Me Now (S01E01)

"You kept this from me on purpose."
Gilmore Girls
"It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial."
Gilmore Girls
"You have to get them all settled in."
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"- I'm not talking to them. - Yes, you are."
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"I'm not talking to them nicely."
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"It's after 8:00. She should be here already."
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"You're supposed to tee off at your designated time."
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"- Is that what you're wearing? - Yes."
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"- What's wrong with what I'm wearing? - Nothing. It's fine."
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"She's a 16-year-old who would rather be at the mall."
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"Show her all around the club, especially the rose garden."
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"- I am not a guide. - Make sure you take her to lunch..."
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"- and have her get dessert. - No one said anything about lunch."
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"I hope Lorelai's clubs are still in good shape."
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"I will teach her to golf, as promised by you..."
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"but lunch is out of the question."
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"You have to eat, so you'll eat together. Do you have sunscreen?"
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"- She's here. - 8:30."
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"We must remember to buy her a watch."
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"Richard, so help me God, you will be sweet to this girl..."
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"and make this a memorable day for her."
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"It's the first time we can show our granddaughter off at the club."
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"And it means a great deal to my happiness and yours..."
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"that this day go well."
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"- Rory, hello! - Sorry I'm late."
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"Nonsense, you're right on time."
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"- Hi, Grandpa. - Nice to see you."
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"- This is a perfect day for golfing, isn't it? - It's cooler at 8:00."
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"Am I dressed okay?"
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"I didn't have any of those short pant things."
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"Actually, there is something missing. Wait a minute."
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"Here we go."
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"- Now you look just like Tiger Woods. - That's some hat."
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"Okay, off you go, you two."
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"- Have a wonderful time. - We will."
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"Is it hard to become a member here?"
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"Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process."
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"- Kind of like the FBI? - We're much more thorough than that."
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"Do you know the merger of Forscape and DSS..."
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"International finance will never be the same..."
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"and all because of a lost golfing bet."
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"- That's crazy. - That's high finance."
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"Here we are."
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"What do you know about golf?"
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"That it's a good walk spoiled."
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"Your driver is the most powerful club in your bag..."
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"and as such, it can be your most valuable asset..."
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"or your greatest liability."
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"To wield it properly requires a precise combination..."
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"of confidence and humility."
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"- Confidence and humility. Got it. - There you are."
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"That's a pretty good natural grip."
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"Now line the toe of your left foot up with the ball."
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"That's right. Drop this shoulder a little bit."
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"Now, keeping your left arm firm, draw the club back..."
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"I'm betting that was wrong."
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"There are no rights and wrongs to the learning process."
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"I'm betting that was wrong."
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"These are blueberries. I ordered strawberries."
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"- Sookie, listen. - Yeah. "Mushrooms, melon...""
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"- "endive, peaches, kiwi." - Excuse me, crazy lady."
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"- Sookie! Listen. - What?"
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"I know you ordered strawberries, but they weren't any good."
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"Instead of selling you substandard strawberries..."
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"I brought you blueberries."
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"I must make strawberry shortcake for 200 people..."
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"so I think I'll need strawberries."
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"- Use the blueberries. - To make what?"
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"- Blueberry shortcake. - There's no such thing."
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"The world was flat until someone took a boat trip."
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"Coffee."
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"Sookie, can I take some of this cake home to Rory?"
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"She's gonna need a special treat tonight."
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"She's spending the entire day with my father, golfing at the club."
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"No."
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"- Take the blueberries! - No!"
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"The whole thing was masterminded by my mother."
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"One minute we're having an excruciating family dinner..."
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"with my father at the country club."
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"I can't talk about it anymore. It's making me too upset."
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"- Tell me something happy. - I can't make the strawberry shortcake."
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"You suck at this game."
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"The battle for soup versus salad is raging in the other room."
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"I'm running out of French curse words that they won't understand."
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"- Soup it's gonna be. - You always have a salad..."
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"- before a traditional meal. - Why are you making a scene?"
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"It's been 45 minutes of "soup or salad.""
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"I'm going to go far away now, and never come back."
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"How about if the guests get a choice of soup or salad?"
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"That will work."
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"- Choice of soup or salad. - Got it."
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"- It's so weird. - Which one is which?"
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"I think the one on the right is Matt."
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"No, that's the one on the left. The one on the right is Mark."
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"learning their tics and traits, the sound of their voices. It's a gift."
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"- That one has a Post-it on its back. - Then that's Mark."
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"The one on the right is Matt."
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"- Take that off of him. - I will not."
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"We can't all call everyone "sweetie" and get away with it."
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"Go with me here, but let's say Mark walks into a hotel room..."
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"- Would that be cheating? - My head hurts."
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"- I think no. - Really? Lucky."
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"If you ask me, this union belongs on a public access station."
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"It's against the laws of nature, and just this short of completely obscene."
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"You won't be giving the wedding toast."
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"- How did everything work out? - Do you have children?"
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"- A daughter. - Do you hate her?"
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"- No. - Not ever?"
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"I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor."
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"That was the high point for me."
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"- I can't believe I hit the ball. - It's quite impressive."
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"- It landed in the water. - Yes, but the splash was quite impressive."
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"This place is so beautiful."
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"but that defeats the purpose of the holes with the flags in them."
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"There is something rather serene about walking around here."
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"- Do you come here every week? - No. When I can."
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"I'm often working on the weekends."
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"- Bummer. - Isn't it?"
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"Hi, Richard."
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"- Can I ask you a question? - Go ahead."
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