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Clips from Taxi - Paper Marriage (S01E01)

"Oh, good. Latka, you ready?"
Taxi
"You know, it's too bad we don't have any music."
Taxi
"Well, we could always..."
Taxi
"( tuneless plucking )"
Taxi
"( groaning )"
Taxi
"BOBBY: Hey, Louie..."
Taxi
"Hey, you know..."
Taxi
"Don't give me no guff."
Taxi
"Geez!"
Taxi
"and I thought Latka should have some music for his nuptials."
Taxi
"( playing "Because" )"
Taxi
"( murmuring )"
Taxi
"Wow!"
Taxi
"Oh, she's beautiful."
Taxi
"Thank you."
Taxi
"( playing off-key )"
Taxi
"Louie."
Taxi
"You are very pretty."
Taxi
"Thank you, Latka."
Taxi
"Um..."
Taxi
"we're gathered here today"
Taxi
"to join these two people in marriage."
Taxi
"The question often asked in our time is: Why marriage?"
Taxi
"The answer is hard to see,"
Taxi
"but as obvious as a heartbeat to feel."
Taxi
"We marry to have a friend, a lover."
Taxi
"We marry to deny"
Taxi
"solitude's cold hands on us."
Taxi
"We marry because after all the other, uh..."
Taxi
"alternatives have been explored,"
Taxi
"we still want to and need to and must."
Taxi
"I bet you all thought I was going to screw up,"
Taxi
"didn't you?"
Taxi
"Does the couple have anything to say?"
Taxi
"Oh, yeah, um..."
Taxi
"Latka wanted me"
Taxi
"to read you something."
Taxi
"He stayed up all night going through his dictionary"
Taxi
"So, here it is."
Taxi
""Even though we just recently have been formally introduced,"
Taxi
""somehow my mind tells me"
Taxi
"that you will always be a tart to me.""
Taxi
""A part of me.""
Taxi
""A part of me.""
Taxi
""And I know, even though we not speak same language"
Taxi
"we have the same language of the heart.""
Taxi
"Latka..."
Taxi
"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
Taxi
"( speaking in native language )"
Taxi
"He does..."
Taxi
"And do you, Vivian, take this man"
Taxi
"( repeating Latka's response )"
Taxi
"Um... yep."
Taxi
"This is heavy."
Taxi
"If no man here has any reason"
Taxi
"why these two should not be married"
Taxi
"by the power invested in me, I do pronounce you man and wife."
Taxi
"You may kiss the bride."
Taxi
"Thank you very much."
Taxi
"( whistling )"
Taxi
"We will love forever."
Taxi
"You bet, honey."
Taxi
"Um, look, I got to go."
Taxi
"Um..."
Taxi
"I got an appointment over at the Hilton I'm late for."
Taxi
"ALEX: Yeah."
Taxi
"Ah, you..."
Taxi
"Hey, Latka..."
Taxi
"Latka, don't take it so bad, huh?"
Taxi
"JOHN: Yeah, don't worry, Latka."
Taxi
"There'll be somebody else. You'll see."
Taxi
"I said we shouldn't have done this."
Taxi
"Wait. Latka wants to say something."
Taxi
"What is it, Latka?"
Taxi
"No honeymoon?"
Taxi
"No honeymoon."
Taxi
"Boy, America's a tough town."
Taxi
"( theme music playing )"
Taxi
"Well, we got one, but ours is in the men's room."
Taxi
"( chuckles ) Can I help you?"
Taxi
"Yeah. We're with the Immigration Department."
Taxi
"Oh?"
Taxi
"We're trying to find a Latka Gravas."
Taxi
"A Latka Gravas?"
Taxi
"Do you mind if I see your identification?"
Taxi
"Thank you."
Taxi
"I never heard of him."
Taxi
"Gentlemen, we're going to grab a cup of coffee."
Taxi
"We'll be back in a few minutes to see Mr. De Palma."
Taxi
"Fine."
Taxi
"Latka."
Taxi
"Get out of there."
Taxi
"Latka."
Taxi
"What do those men from the Immigration Department want to see you for?"
Taxi
"They send letter."
Taxi
"Let me see."
Taxi
"the Immigration Department."
Taxi
"Latka, how long ago did you get this?"
Taxi
"Two weeks."
Taxi
"How come you"
Taxi
"didn't have any of us translate it for you?"
Taxi
"Did it myself."
Taxi
"How far did you get?"
Taxi
""Dear Allen.""
Taxi
"That's "Alien.""
Taxi
"Latka's Student Visa ran out a month ago."
Taxi
"Listen to this. "If you do not contact this office by"--"
Taxi
"that's four days ago--"
Taxi
""a warrant will be issued for your arrest.""
Taxi
"Uh-oh."
Taxi
"Latka, those men were here today to arrest you."
Taxi
"What means "arrest"?"
Taxi
"Prison."
Taxi
"Uh... behind bars."
Taxi
"Jail."
Taxi
"Police."
Taxi
"Oh, no. I... ( speaks native language )"
Taxi
"Latka, Latka, Latka, sit down."
Taxi
"Just sit down."
Taxi
"but I can't think of any."
Taxi
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