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Clips from The Simpsons - Warrin' Priests (S31E31)

"Oh, you can do better than that."
The Simpsons
"I can't hear you."
The Simpsons
"Lord, either make this interesting"
The Simpsons
"("Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum playing)"
The Simpsons
"Salt the ham water, boys."
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"Hey! That's illegal."
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"Oh, sorry. You know what?"
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"Here. Have a quarter, Chief."
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"Those are the gentlest eyes I've ever seen."
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"Y-You can. (chuckles)"
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"Thanks. I was hoping maybe you could point me"
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"That is not it. That's the Eiffel Tower strip club."
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"And I guess"
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"that's about all."
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"(overlapping shouting)"
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"You're going the wrong way!"
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"If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?"
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"Penny. Button."
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"IOU for one penny."
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"Hi. Bode Wright."
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"Recovery meetings are downstairs."
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"Booze to the right, huffers to the left."
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"Sorry, I'm here about the ad. On Christslist?"
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"About you guys needing a-a youth pastor?"
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"I didn't place any ad."
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"I placed the ad."
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"-I'm Bode. -Bode. Nice cross."
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"Tim's are chewed to nubs."
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"I-I chew my crosses. Nervous habit."
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"Do you have any experience, Bode?"
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"Had to use bottled holy water. (chuckles)"
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"Uh-huh. Education?"
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"I, uh, have a master's in divinity"
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"with a focus on biblical languages."
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"Up-bup-bup-bup-bup! It doesn't work that fast."
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"We have I-9s and W-2s, collar fittings."
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"And, besides, I'm the one in charge."
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"In the end, isn't God in charge here?"
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"Do you see Jimmy Buffett at every Jimmy Buffett café?"
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"Hey, can I have this? Marge could use it"
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"-Oh, just take it. -So, Bode,"
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"-do you have anywhere to stay? -Not yet."
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"I saw a motel by the tire fire."
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"-He'll stay with us. -No way."
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"Uh, Reverend? The homeless are here for their foot washing."
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"I'm looking for a mani-pedi and an eyebrow wax."
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"I guess I could use a little help around here."
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"Thank you. I won't let you down."
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"We don't hug here."
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"HELEN: Mmm."
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"It's usually me, Lenny, Carl, Bumblebee Man, Kent Brockman."
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"But don't tell anyone."
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"Also, Lunchlady Dora, King Toot,"
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"Hmm."
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"Oh, Marge, this is embarrassing."
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"We don't need counseling."
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"We do need counseling."
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"I'm carrying a lot of anger."
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"Just do what I do. Come home"
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"and have a hot dinner waiting for you."
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"-(Marge groans) -Well, let me just say"
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"that I go into this with no preconceptions."
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"Now, tell me, how is this Homer's fault?"
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"-(toy train whistle blows) -Helen, is he playing"
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"Excuse me. There's trouble down at Lovejoy Junction."
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"So, we're good?"
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"We're good if we get our house back."
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"Did you say houseboat?"
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"House back. House back!"
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"(groaning)"
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"(chokes, coughs)"
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"The 12:10 to Trenton doesn't stop"
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"just because your fat head's on the track."
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"-What are you doing? -Nothing."
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"-You gonna drop that? -Not doing a thing."
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"-Nothing. Nothing. -Go ahead. Drop it."
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"-Drop a tiny log on me. -Not doing a thing."
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"Now leave my choo choo alone."
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"Glad I finally got to use that."
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"Now, my sleepy, young friend,"
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"I don't know how you did things back in "Michigan.""
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"Air quotes are for when something's not a real thing."
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"But in my parish, we minister to our flock."
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"And I'm not afraid to say the hard things"
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"that need to be said."
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""I" 27."
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"-What? -What did he say?"
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"We can't hear you."
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""B" thr-three. (coughs)"
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"Help save your voice."
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"Bingo requires a firm, experienced caller."
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"(voice cracks, clears throat): "G." "G" 48."
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"(coughing): "N" for... "N" 43."
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"I got nothing."
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"(coughing)"
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"I think I can handle it."
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"When I was in seminary school,"
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"I was the shouty guy on our rowing team."
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"The letters sound very similar."
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""B" 15."
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""B" as in Balthazar."
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"Did he say Galthazar?"
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"Gingo!"
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"Gingo take you to bathroom."
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"Empty again."
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"(moaning)"
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"(moaning)"
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"Uh, good mor... (clears throat, coughs)"
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"Excuse me."
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"(clears throat)"
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"(coughing)"
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"(groaning)"
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"Brothers and sisters,"
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"Now, we could cancel church."
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"(excited chatter)"
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"(playing "Maple Leaf Rag")"
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"But God clearly foresaw this"
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"Church will not be canceled."
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"(sobbing)"
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"Now please help me welcome"
The Simpsons
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