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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Juliet Prowse (S01E01)

"Well, it sounds, says the frog,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Gee, my uncle thought it was... Uh..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"it sounds, says the frog,"
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"displaying his will to survive, wonderful."
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"Yeah, it's great. He'll love it. Certainly."
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"I've often thought of Muppy here"
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"as about the cutest little fellow around."
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"He thinks of himself as a killer."
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"Let me outta here!"
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"That dumb dog. Whoa, I'm onstage."
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"Wow. (clears throat)"
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"Now that I'm here, let me take this opportunity"
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"to present The Muppet Show's resident artist -"
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"Gonzo the Great!"
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"Huh? Oh, thank you."
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"Tonight, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"I will eat this rubber tire"
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"to the music of "The Flight of the Bumblebee.""
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"Music, Maestro."
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"He's doing it. He's eating a tire."
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"Amazing!"
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"Astounding!"
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"Boring."
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"(audience boos)"
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"Looks like it's another wipeout for Gonzo."
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"Ah, yokels!"
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"Hey, Kermit.... Muppy wants you to know he's very sorry he bit you."
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"Oh, yeah? He wants you to know he's very grateful"
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"you're letting him do the "Simon Smith" number. Oh, well, that's nice."
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"He wants you to know he wants his own dressing room and star billing."
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"What? Who is this crazy dog?"
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"He's my uncle's favorite pet."
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"(slurps)"
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"Yecch!"
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"Hello there, Miss Prowse. Hey, listen, is everything OK?"
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"Any complaints? No, none whatsoever."
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"Except that I've never had to share my dressing room before"
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"with a man who eats a tire."
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"I told Gonzo to dress in the alley."
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"Hey, listen, I gotta go introduce you."
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"You look beautiful. Beautiful."
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"He's sweet. For a frog."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Miss Juliet Prowse."
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"(♪ "Solace" by Scott Joplin)"
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"(applause)"
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"She just vanished. How did she do that?"
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"Probably like this. (takes deep breath)"
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"Yep. That's probably how she did it."
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"(♪ tea dance music)"
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"You're such a smooth dancer."
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"Ever since we've started,"
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"I feel like my feet have never touched the floor."
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"They haven't. You've been standing on mine."
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"Do you prefer Shakespeare to Bacon?"
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"You mind if I smoke? If you insist."
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"Thanks."
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"(coughing and choking)"
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"Smoke's not bothering you, is it? Manager!"
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"(♪ melodramatic piano music)"
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"At this time, I would like to present my rendition"
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"of one of the great songs of our time."
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"That ever-popular classic, "You and I and George.""
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""But why," you ask, as well you should,"
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""have I never heard this great song of our times?""
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"Fact is, nobody has ever heard of this ever-popular classic."
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"In its only recording,"
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""You and I and George" sold two copies."
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"I bought one, and George bought one."
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"Where were you?"
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"My own mother turns down her hearing aid"
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"when I sing this song."
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"♪ You and I and George"
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"♪ Went strolling"
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"♪ Through the park one day"
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"♪ And then"
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"♪ As if to say"
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"♪ I love you"
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"♪ Then"
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"♪ We passed a brook"
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"♪ And George fell in and drowned himself"
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"♪ And floated out to sea"
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"♪ Leaving you"
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"♪ Alone"
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"♪ With me ♪"
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"You know, that number you did was just beautiful, Juliet."
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"Well, thank you, Kermit."
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"You know, I'm really happy to be here with you and all the Muppets."
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"You know something? I've never talked to a frog before."
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"Well, we're just like anyone else."
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"A little more jumpy, maybe."
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"But, you know, we have our hopes and our dreams."
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"Oh, yeah? Well, what are some of your dreams?"
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"Well..."
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"you may just think I'm gilding the lily pad here,"
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"but, as a tadpole, I always wanted to be a dancer."
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"Oh. But you know what they say..."
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"the first thing to go on a frog are his legs."
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"You know, that's what they say."
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"That's funny. I never knew that frogs had a sense of humor."
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"Listen, you meet a frog without a sense of humor,"
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"and you're looking at a green lump."
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"Let's just face it, Julie."
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"Your average frog doesn't have a lot going for him in the looks department."
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"Oh, I don't know."
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"Really? Mm-hmm."
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"You're not just saying that because you're a guest?"
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"Well, certainly not."
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"In fact, I'd go as far as to say that you are the Robert Redford of frogs."
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"Oh. Wow."
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"Hey, listen, everybody. Do you hear that?"
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"Juliet Prowse thinks I'm the Robert Redford of frogs."
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"Hey, you're gonna be coming back on this show a lot."
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"Hey, listen, have you ever kissed Robert Redford?"
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"No, I haven't."
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"Well, how about... (clears throat)"
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"kissing the next best thing?"
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"You mean to tell me that Paul Newman is here?"
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"I mean me, the Robert Redford of frogdom."
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"Ah. My pleasure."
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"Whoo!"
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