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Clips from Three's Company - Will the Real Jack Tripper... (S02E02)

"Oh. Um, Jack, look, I've gotta come by and talk to you."
Three's Company
"- Jack? - Oh, what a shame. We got cut off."
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"Come on. Let's get to the game. What?"
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"Come on. Don't just sit there! The game doesn't start for hours."
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"Neither does the car I'm driving. Come on!"
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"Stanley. Stan-ley!"
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"Stan-ley!"
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"Oh. No, that was you, Helen."
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"I know it was me."
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"I think he's got a lazy beak."
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"He came to the right house."
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"When are you gonna fix the window for the kids upstairs?"
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"It's next on my list."
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"What list, Stanley?"
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"Where is this marvelous list you keep talking about?"
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"In my head. Must be very lonely in there."
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"Red eight on a black nine."
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"Thanks a lot."
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"You know, you're wasting your time playing this game."
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"Well, it's my time."
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"I don't have the right equipment."
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"You're telling me."
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"I'm talking about my power drill. It's 10 years old."
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"Eleven. I remember. You bought it for me for my birthday."
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"Very good, Helen. Very good."
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"I'll give you something else to remember."
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"There are four cards missing in that deck."
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"[ Bird Screeches ]"
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"[ Whirring ] It's drying up, but there's gonna be a clean patch here."
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"Oh. Well, maybe, uh,"
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"we could bring the plant stand down over it."
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"No, because then there will be a clean patch where the plant stand was."
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"Well, I don't know."
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"Oh. Hi. Hi."
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"Um, is Jack in? Uh, huh-uh. He went to basketball game."
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"Oh. Oh, well, that's all right."
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"It isn't very important."
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"[ Sobbing ] It isn't important at all."
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"[ Sobbing Continues ]"
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"Uh, eh, would y... would you like to come in and sit down for a minute?"
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"No, thank you."
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"Are you all right? I'm fine. Fine!"
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"- Would you like some tea? - That would be nice. Thank you."
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"Okay. Ohhh! I forgot. We're out of tea."
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"[ Sobbing ]"
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"Oh! Oh. Hey. I'll go buy some if you're that thirsty!"
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"I'm not thirsty. Oh, good."
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"I'm pregnant. You're what? What?"
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"And my father, he's gonna kill me if he finds ou..."
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"Excuse me, please. Are you here because Jack is the..."
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"I haven't seen him in months."
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"Well, at first I didn't worry,"
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"'cause he told me he had a lot of cavities to fill."
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"He's a... He's a very fashionable dentist."
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"Well, I tried to call him. He just hung up on me."
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"He hu... He did?"
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"[ Huffs ] I shouldn't have come."
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"He'll... He'll just think that I'm trying to trap him."
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"Oh, well, he has to be told."
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"Oh, no, no, no! No, please don't tell him I came here."
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"Oh, p-please! But..."
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"But you can't. Janet, she can't."
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"Thank you for the tea. [ Sobbing ]"
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"Hey! What's your name?"
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"[ Exhales Deeply ] Ohhh."
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"Well, this is typical... Getting a girl pregnant."
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"Only a man would do a thing like that."
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"Gee whiz, Chrissy. He wouldn't even talk to her on the telephone."
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"Hi. Boy, what a game!"
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"Kareem... You should have seen him."
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"He got 22 rebounds."
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"In... In, uh, the game. Kareem did."
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"He was down at the other end of the... the court and, um..."
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"You find it a little chilly in here?"
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"Jack. Huh?"
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"Your girlfriend was here this afternoon."
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"Linda?"
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"Is that her name? It's too pretty for you."
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"Luckily, I've got my own name already, thank you."
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"- So what did she want? - [ Sighs ] I'll tell you what she wanted, Jack."
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"Janet, she asked us not to tell him."
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"What did she ask you not to tell me?"
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"You're gonna be a father. Nnn..."
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"Be careful!"
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"I thought I was."
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"[ No Audible Dialogue ]"
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"Could we get some more potato chips?"
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"Do you think we could get some more potato chips over here?"
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"I'm sorry, Linda. Did you say something?"
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"Oh, good. Linda, how long have you and I been going together?"
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"Ohhh, two or three months, give or take a month."
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"I wish I could."
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"You know what? I could really dig a pickled cucumber with those chips."
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"I really got a craving."
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"No. Well then, I guess..."
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"you've been going out with lots of other guys besides me, right?"
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"When I'm going with someone, he's the one... the only one."
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"What a shame."
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"I mean, that's terr... No. I admire those values. I think that's... No. Look."
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"What I'm trying to say is I wouldn't mind if you'd been seeing other guys."
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"You could tell me. I haven't."
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"Oh, well, that makes me very happy."
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"- I'm gonna have a bag of chips. - I know. They told me."
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"What? All right. Linda,"
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"do you agree with me that it's important for a child..."
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"to have a father as well as a mother?"
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"It helps."
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"Then that's settled."
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"Ohhh! Oh, Jack!"
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"Oh, I spilled the salt. For good luck!"
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"Yeah. Good luck."
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"Chrissy. Chrissy. Uh, what's a four-letter word for pain?"
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"Pain."
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"Come in. Come in. Girls."
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"Oh, um, hello there. Hi."
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"I have a very important announcement."
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"Linda and I are engaged."
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"Excuse me. Why did she call me a rat?"
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"Because you're a pig."
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"Oh."
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