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Clips from 30 Rock - Stride of Pride (S07E07)

"Why is he being so professional?"
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"He could play a young Steven Tyler."
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"He looks like me if I were fancy."
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"Like monkeys, The Three Stooges, and me."
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"And some things just aren't,"
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"like females and listing only two things."
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"I'd like to see Lucille Ball do this on TV."
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"Male nipples, funny."
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"Monkey nipples, funny."
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"Female nipples, useless!"
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"Engaging!"
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"I will prove to you once and for all that women are just as funny as monkeys."
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"Jenna and I are remounting our award-winning 1996 two-women show."
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"Right here. 4 p.m. Mandatory."
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"Thinking of you, sweetie. XO, Zarina."
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"Sweetie?"
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"Why didn't she write Thinking of you, Jackie Bear?"
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"Jonathan, get me a young person who has a social life."
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"It's a group e-mail, isn't it?"
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"This woman is Pokémoning me."
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"She's blind-copied you."
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"But if you just click this plus sign..."
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"Yep, there's the whole group."
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"“[email protected]“."
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"[email protected]. Ugh!"
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"“Total Paokage58“..."
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"Oh, wait, that's me."
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"I don't care if it takes all day."
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"No, I understand."
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"But... Okay, bye."
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"How's it going, friendy?"
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"Well, that was Gerald Chair, the inventor of the GeriChair."
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"They're leaning towards Jamie Lee Curtis."
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"She already beat me out for Activia and Cold Flash menopause popsicles."
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"Well, this might not be the best timing, but I need a favor."
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"Yeah, today's the day when I'm gonna do my first favor ever."
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"This isn't a favor for me. It's a favor for all women."
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"Oh..."
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"- We are gonna prove Tracy wrong... - Bored."
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"By restaging our old show."
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"Huh!"
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"- The one where I'm a little girl. - Sure. Absolutely."
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"And thank you for being a friend about this."
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"Yes. Friend."
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"I mean, yes! Friend."
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"I look forward to discovering"
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"exactly what each of you has to offer Zarina that I do not."
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"I know she has a sex idiot for uninhibited experimentation."
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"Nah, I'm pretty sure we're in love."
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"I get it. I can't give her that."
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"Someone to make her parents angry."
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"The truth hurts."
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"Interesting. A mean Wall Street type."
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"I would have thought I was the money guy."
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"Hey. Sorry I'm late."
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"Heavenly Father."
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"You must be Ken Tremendous."
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"I don't understand. What am I doing here?"
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"Except the father figure."
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"Where is that guy? Am I right?"
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"The one who falls asleep at the opera"
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"and doesn't notice that she's texting her real boyfriend from his bed?"
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"Ladies and gentlemen,"
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"what you are about to see is a classic sketch"
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"from the Chicago-area, Piven-nominated two-women show"
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"Maroney and Lemon."
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"I take you now to this..."
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"...doctor's office."
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"Can you help me?"
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"Well, of course."
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"Toddler plastic surgery is an exciting new field."
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"♪ Women are funny, we can all agree ♪"
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"♪ Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball ♪"
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"♪ No, we're not gonna do it, it's beneath us all ♪"
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"♪ 'Cause we don't need to prove it to you ♪"
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"♪ No, we don't need to prove it to you ♪"
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"Thank you, Doctor."
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"Don't thank me. Thank Roe v. Wade."
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"So, why does TGS suck so much?"
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"Thanks, Frank."
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"Elizabeth Q. Lemonade, I owe you an apology."
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"That skit was funny. Like, monkey funny."
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"Thanks. That means a lot, Tracy."
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"Yeah."
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"A lady doctor. Oh, my God!"
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"Really? That's what you thought the joke was --"
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"Commentary."
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"Old?!"
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"Oh, thank you, Tracy. That's the only reason I did this."
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"- You came! - You bet I did, baby."
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"You are GeriChair's new spokescrone."
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"Lolo Jones, a man couldn't even do that doctor sketch."
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"We would have just been sitting there listening to his medical advice."
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"You know what? I'll take it."
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"Stride of pride."
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"Oh, Jack, I'm sorry."
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"I didn't think anyone would be up here this late."
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"Sometimes I like to come up here at night"
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"or do you also flash the Time Warner Center"
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"to make the Empire State Building feel like an old fool?"
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"I found out I'm just an aging Squirtle in her Pokémon."
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"That's tough."
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"Accepting the way other people see us can be difficult."
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"I mean, inside I still feel like a sex idiot,"
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"but I have to accept the fact that I'm fake 56 now,"
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"But don't fight it. Embrace it."
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"Look, do you really want this girl"
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"Do you want to drive five hours to go rock climbing with her"
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"and be expected to have sex after?"
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"I do not. I mean, my back."
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"So, don't break up with her. Just be the older person."
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"and people bring you soup."
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"I do like soup."
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"Okay, so, maybe I never got my Sex and the City brunch,"
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"and maybe I never got to share the fact"
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"that I now know four different sexual positions,"
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"one of which involves a chair,"
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"All this talk of Great Escaping and Pokémons got me thinking."
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"Action."
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"GeriChair makes it safe for me to spend Christmas alone."
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