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Clips from 30 Rock - Stride of Pride (S07E07)

"Okay, we are at a Code Orange here, people."
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"A magazine has said that Jenna is 56."
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"Buy every copy and burn them."
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"Cerie, get out of here! Just go home for the day."
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"Oh, my God, Liz, I am furious!"
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"You know what would make us all feel better?"
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"These bitches are down for it."
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"How can you be so calm? I mean, why would Tracy do this to you?"
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"Wait, what are we talking about?"
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"Women are not funny. Never have been. Never will be."
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"How am I supposed to explain this to Jenna,"
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"You want me to talk to her?"
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"I guess I just thought she was a wig model."
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"Unacceptable!"
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"It's insulting."
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"Gary Chang, Ziang Chu, Royd Chung."
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"Look, if women are so funny, do something funny right now."
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"Welcome to the flower shop."
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"No! I don't have to prove anything to you!"
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"Football, motorcycles, steak restaurants,"
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"really dark superhero movies --"
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"these are things that suck."
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"But women don't go around wasting our time"
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"writing articles about them."
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"And I am not gonna waste my time engaging you on this topic."
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"Well, that went well."
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"Mm, my lips are so dry."
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"Ooh, I see what's going on here."
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"You be the janitor,"
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"It sure is hot in here."
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"Maybe I should roll up my pants."
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"Show me that pan of your shins"
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"that's hairless from your synthetic socks."
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"Liz! Liz! Liz!"
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"Oh, thank God."
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"Also, I called in a fake Page Six item about how young Jenna is."
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"I think our bases are covered."
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"Wow. Okay, great. We solved our Jenna problem."
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"No. We can just do it."
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"- Oh, Zarina, hello. - Jack!"
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"- Pleasure. - Hello."
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"Oh, shiny."
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"Look, I know this is awkward, but we never said we were exclusive,"
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"I'm sure Mindy gives you certain things I can't."
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"Zarina."
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"Another old guy wanted to buy my shin."
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"Old guys are so funny."
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"Oh, Jack, Ryan. Ryan, Jack."
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"Ryan is my sex idiot."
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"So, the other night, my boyfriend and I were making love,"
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"I hit my nose pretty hard on the bedside table, but --"
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"Liz Lemon, I just saw this hilarious dude on YouTube."
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"What was it, some idiot who let his friend skateboard over his penis?"
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"It's a monkey, and his name is Professor Wigglebottom."
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"So, no women are funny, but you want me to put a monkey on the show."
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"Oh, my God, are we still talking about that?"
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"Tracy, I'm not putting any monkeys on TGS, because you know what?"
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"Okay, name one funny monkey."
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"I refuse to answer this question with a list."
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"It's insulting to monkeys and their descendants -- humans!"
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"Iwin again."
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"- You're okay with this, right, Jack? - Of course."
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"How could I not be?"
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"So, how many other Pokemons are there?"
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"Jack..."
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"the plural of Pokémon is Pokémon."
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"- What?! - Mindy."
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"- Mindy. - No, Ryan Lochte!"
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"- Look at me. Focus. - Mindy."
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"Ms. Maroney, did you see this newspaper headline?"
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"Be careful. You don't want to turn out like Amanda Bynes."
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"Did I do it right?"
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"That's a lie. I am much too old to party."
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"I watch Castle,"
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"and my purse is filled with Sweet'N Lows."
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"Liz, can I ask you a question?"
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"It's gonna be a series of mean statements."
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"If I find out that someone around here"
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"planted this disgusting story that I'm young,"
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"take them out."
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"Jeez! It was me, okay? I did it."
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"Them magazine said I was 56!"
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"- Wait, you saw that? - Of course, I did."
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"I planted it."
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"What? Why?!"
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"To escape the curse of the middle-aged actress."
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"to see who gets to play Kevin James' mean wife"
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"I'm gonna skip ahead to being an amazing slut who wins Oscars."
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"I mean, how hot is Helen Mirren?"
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"Super hot. I mean, have you seen that picture of her in a bikini?"
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"She looks amazing for --"
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"She looks amazing for a 67-year-old."
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"She's actually not that hot. She's got a gut and British legs."
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"All right, settle down."
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"Well, now we know. It won't happen again."
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"What if it's too late, Liz?"
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"I'm in the running for an endorsement deal with GeriChair,"
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"America's number-one motorized stair-climber."
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"Because I will take them out."
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"I am aware of this."
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"when Jack Welch called you Rick."
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"I mean, he and I had met only, like, a million times!"
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"No. Bad idea."
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"Only great ideas that go horribly wrong."
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"I would love to keep arguing with Tracy"
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"about whether women are funnier than monkeys."
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"I once saw a monkey in a cowboy outfit."
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"I would love to see the town he's the sheriff of."
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"I don't, 'cause I know the truth."
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"Women are just as funny as men."
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"I do. I'm the complete package."
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"I don't need to know what one thing I give Zarina."
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"- Not me. - Great!"
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"And we are gonna celebrate by going to a brunch place"
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"Absolutely not."
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"We did it in the shower. My shoes got ruined."
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"I said no."
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"I had to pick my friend up from the train station."
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"Say hello, Professor Wigglebottom!"
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"That dude's awesome."
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