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Clips from Community (2009) - The Art of Discourse (S01E01)

"Thanks. Must have been hard for you to say that."
Community (2009)
"Ask the goat to explain it to you."
Community (2009)
"Because you are being dissed."
Community (2009)
"Why are you two dissing Troy?"
Community (2009)
"Because they no longer have Pierce."
Community (2009)
"- [scoffs] - What?"
Community (2009)
"Now he's gone, so there's lightning everywhere."
Community (2009)
"My uncle was struck by lightning."
Community (2009)
"You think it'd give you superpowers,"
Community (2009)
"but now he just masturbates in theaters."
Community (2009)
"becomes the new Pierce."
Community (2009)
"Well, I sure as hell am not gonna be the new Pierce."
Community (2009)
"And if all we need is an escape-goat,"
Community (2009)
"I think we should just let this one go."
Community (2009)
"Yeah, right."
Community (2009)
"- Bah-gel. - She calls bagels bah-gels."
Community (2009)
"- [gasps] - [Mimics gasp]"
Community (2009)
"No, no, I don't want anybody's pity."
Community (2009)
"You know, come to think of it, after Pierce,"
Community (2009)
"All: Mm."
Community (2009)
"When you found out I was Jewish,"
Community (2009)
"tou invited me to a pool party"
Community (2009)
"Well, excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven."
Community (2009)
"He's all right. We like Abed."
Community (2009)
"the "New Pierce" concept is stupid?"
Community (2009)
"Spoken like the new Pierce."
Community (2009)
"[arguing] You said the world wide web."
Community (2009)
"- You're Pierce's cousin. - Don't double Pierce me."
Community (2009)
"And you're the triple Pierce."
Community (2009)
"- That's so unfair. - Guys, guys."
Community (2009)
"I can't believe I'm gonna utter these words,"
Community (2009)
"But we need Pierce in this group."
Community (2009)
"But we can't ask Shirley to let him back in."
Community (2009)
"Two, three, four. Uh, not!"
Community (2009)
"[snorts]"
Community (2009)
"We need Pierce."
Community (2009)
"It's not gonna be sincere"
Community (2009)
"Okay, but you're not getting back in the group"
Community (2009)
"Stubborn fool."
Community (2009)
"and unbeknownst to us, we're actually the target of ridicule"
Community (2009)
"Yeah. They're making us walk around"
Community (2009)
"with pretzels in our butts."
Community (2009)
"Okay, Pierce, you can do this."
Community (2009)
"What's he..."
Community (2009)
"Yup."
Community (2009)
"what I have to say,"
Community (2009)
"but I owe you this."
Community (2009)
"From the moment we first met,"
Community (2009)
"- I knew you were gonna be... - Seriously!"
Community (2009)
"Oh, Shirley! [laughs]"
Community (2009)
"You are unbelievable!"
Community (2009)
"Give them to me. Oh, but I'm a bag guy."
Community (2009)
"You have the same bag, so I thought, you know..."
Community (2009)
"You know what, screw you."
Community (2009)
"They wrote this."
Community (2009)
"Just pretend like you asleep."
Community (2009)
"Thank you!"
Community (2009)
"Now I fully understand"
Community (2009)
"until it gets in the way of what you guys want."
Community (2009)
"Got nothing to say?"
Community (2009)
"- What...Shirley! - All: Shirley!"
Community (2009)
"Oh, Shirley, don't go. Please."
Community (2009)
"- Uh-oh, sassy, black Schmitty's out of the group."
Community (2009)
"Poor, sad, little Schmitties."
Community (2009)
"Can't all of us little Schmitties get along?"
Community (2009)
"Show me! Would you please hurry up?"
Community (2009)
"I am late for my bikini wax."
Community (2009)
"- Hurry, please. - Who was that?"
Community (2009)
"A punk-ass who needs to be destroyed."
Community (2009)
"Shirley thinks we don't care about her."
Community (2009)
"No, no, you're right. You're right."
Community (2009)
"You're right. That's totally more important."
Community (2009)
"You need to bang that kid's mom."
Community (2009)
"Whoa!"
Community (2009)
"- but that's brilliant! - I know."
Community (2009)
"Because then anything that he says about you..."
Community (2009)
"- Sorry. Shirley. - Shirley."
Community (2009)
"[car horn blasts]"
Community (2009)
"[car horn blasts]"
Community (2009)
"[beeps]"
Community (2009)
"Have a great day."
Community (2009)
"Sorry to bother you."
Community (2009)
"You don't happen to have"
Community (2009)
"- Here you go. - Oh, thanks."
Community (2009)
"Well, I try to keep things where they should be."
Community (2009)
"I don't know about your robot, Abed."
Community (2009)
"he's gonna make us the coolest guys on campus"
Community (2009)
"and help us get babes."
Community (2009)
"who will really laugh at us."
Community (2009)
"Hey. You're my friend, right?"
Community (2009)
"Friends are supposed to help each other,"
Community (2009)
"Ridiculous situation descending into heavy-handed drama"
Community (2009)
"for the illusion of story."
Community (2009)
"What? That was awesome."
Community (2009)
"All right, I am back in."
Community (2009)
"Cool."
Community (2009)
"Just so you know, I'm Shirley."
Community (2009)
"Wouldn't want you reaching for me"
Community (2009)
"And you already won, so shut it."
Community (2009)
"I won? Oh, no."
Community (2009)
"They want you in the group, and I quit,"
Community (2009)
"No, thanks."
Community (2009)
"I'm sick of the way that group treats me."
Community (2009)
"Preaching to the choir."
Community (2009)
"Grow up, already."
Community (2009)
"thanks for including me."
Community (2009)
"Please, you think Annie and Britta"
Community (2009)
"invite me when they take"
Community (2009)
"those little weekend trips to the mall?"
Community (2009)
"They just think of me as some sort of mom."
Community (2009)
"They both need to learn some manners,"
Community (2009)
"and, you know what, Annie needs to stop dating Vaughn."
Community (2009)
"He is cute, but he is not the kind of boy"
Community (2009)
"It's called respect, and no one ever gave me diddly."
Community (2009)
"Except me."
Community (2009)
"I respect you more than anyone else in the group."
Community (2009)
"Which is why you pantsed me?"
Community (2009)
"you are such a arrogant, self-righteous ass."
Community (2009)
"than anybody else in that room."
Community (2009)
"And nobody can ever strip you of that,"
Community (2009)
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