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Clips from The Detour - The Ass (S02E02)

"I am running out of time. You were in Cuba."
The Detour
"Daddy's here."
The Detour
"Where are my children?"
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"Why didn't you wake me up?!"
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"just like you were a few minutes ago."
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"That's drinking."
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"Uh, no. It's more like a wet salad."
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"Hey, look, I know you're upset,"
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"But now I feel like a new man."
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"They're great. They're having a great time."
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"- Who... Conrad? - Yeah."
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"I have all the love I need from my own family."
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"You're never allowed to use it."
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"I'm... I'm trying to do what's best for you."
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"I don't want that kind of influence on you guys."
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"We have a grandfather our whole lives,"
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"Wait. What? I am? I'm right?"
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"I'm great, though. I am. I'm good. I just..."
The Detour
"Um... I'm still very much in love with your daughter..."
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"you know..."
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"Everything you have in your life is because of me."
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"And lose the hat. Makes you look like a douche."
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"Why is it always raining in this valley?!"
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"Nate, kids, take a bow."
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"Yeah."
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"Did I cut a few corners?"
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"_"
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"Great."
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"- Who do you think? - Ain't that the truth."
The Detour
"It's the most staged photo op since Iwo Jima."
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"a civilized people."
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"and shove bottle rockets in it."
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"$10 million! What?!"
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"That'll do, Robin."
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"What'd you just say?"
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"That'll do."
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"He's not gonna make any money off of this deal."
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"It keeps coming out!"
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Aggressively in our shit?!"
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"- That'd be gross. - Why would you do that?"
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"Come on. Let's go to Cooba!"
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"You got room there. We could squeeze."
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"Come on. Even the woman. Ta bien."
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"Why would we want to go there? It's shit!"
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"Um... eight days, give or take."
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"Syracuse sucks!"
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"America's the greatest country in the world."
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"Hey!"
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"Auspice."
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"Jack Randall here."
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"I need a pencil!"
The Detour
"♪ From their appointed rounds ♪"
The Detour
"Takes me like a year to grow a beard."
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"Hmm? I mean, did you even Mirandarize them?"
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"- No, she didn't. - Ohhhh!"
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"- It's been fun. - Ugggh."
The Detour
"Do you guys have a pool?"
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"Could we take a look at the menu?"
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"And kobhaki."
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"Oh, no. It's supposed to be two."
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"Right?"
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"We need to be able to call a lawyer."
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"- I already called one. - You don't know any lawyers."
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"Yes, I do, and he's on his way."
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"Your father stole your children to his palace."
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"We have the coordinates."
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"You were running this ass as collateral."
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"What the hell is this ass?"
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"Rise and shine, Gummy Bear."
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"What's happening? Where am I?"
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"You're home."
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"You mean my grandchildren."
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"Nate?! Nate! Where are you?!"
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"Hey!"
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"Look who's up, sleepy head."
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"You were sleeping... like an angel."
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"It reminded me of when you were little"
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"and I came into your room."
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"It was late, and you were sleeping,"
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"That's a real shitty story."
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"- Hey, look... - Oh."
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"Have a hot bath, have some hot coffee."
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"Everything's hot down here. You're gonna feel great."
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"Are you drinking?"
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"Mm? No, it's a mojito."
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"What?"
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"But, still, I am a fiend for these things."
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"It's the mint from the garden..."
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"and, trust me, when I woke up, I was livid."
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"What's happening?"
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"Buenos días, señor."
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"Where am I?"
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"_"
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"Huh?"
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"_"
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"Unh..."
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"Seriously."
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"I don't..."
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"Buenos días, señora."
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"Robin, Carlita."
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"Carlita, Robin... uh, mi esposa."
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"Well, not really. One day, no?"
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"I promise. That's what this is for."
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"We'll get to it."
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"She's..."
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"Okay, you're friends."
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"Kids? Kids?!"
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"I got to see my kids."
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"Babe, no, they're fine. I saw them."
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"Don't call me that."
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"How did we get here?"
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"Oh. Yes. Dude. Thank you so much."
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"Really appreciate that."
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"The Internet's so bad down here."
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"- I just want to see what... - Nate, Nate, Nate!"
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"That's mad mask man who was following us!"
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"He's my transpo captain."
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"He's terrifying."
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"Oh, that's the nebulizer. He's got crippling asthma."
The Detour
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