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Clips from NewsRadio - Twins (S03E03)

"No, it isn't."
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"Yes, it is."
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"No, in fact, it looks to me like they're not really twins."
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"That Matthew's adopted and his parents,"
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"who aren't actually related to him in any way,"
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"It was a lucky guess."
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"Lucky for me. Apparently not lucky for him."
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"Did you hear that?"
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"They just-- They just said"
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"we're not really twins."
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"They-- They said what?"
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"They said that we're not really twins,"
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"That's crazy, right?"
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"Uh..."
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"I don't know how to tell you this, bro,"
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"but, um..."
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"remember that time where we tested as different blood types?"
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"What, you--? You didn't?"
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"Dude, we're still brothers,"
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"You have blonde hair, I have brown hair."
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"You have blue eyes, I have green eyes."
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"I can grow a beard."
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"I'm Jewish."
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"How old are you?"
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"And how old am I?"
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"Well, I-I thought you-- You came out first."
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"I didn't have the heart to tell you, man."
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"I just thought you'd figure it out on your--"
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"Can't. Move."
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"That poor, dumb..."
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"dumb...dumb...dumb... dumb guy."
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"[♪]"
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"You've alienated the entire staff,"
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"and you've broken poor Matthew's heart."
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"You think I'm proud of myself?"
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"And not like before when they all sort of hated me, either."
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"This is the real stuff."
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"In the first place, why would you ask for a raise so big"
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"it would cripple the station?"
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"Greed."
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"Money."
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"Happiness, but stop trying to cheer me up."
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"I will do literally anything"
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"There's really only one thing you can do. What?"
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"Give back the money so we can run the station properly."
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"I will do literally anything."
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"Right. If you think of anything,"
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"I'll be right out here."
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"Anything at all."
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"You suck."
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"Okay. I suck."
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"Speakin' of which, why don't we suck down some drinks?"
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"On me, of course. How 'bout it?"
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"Maybe some other time."
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"CATHERINE: You suck!"
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"Fine."
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"Well, thank heaven for small miracles."
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"This has been a tough day for you, too, hasn't it?"
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"Tougher than you know."
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"At least you got your brother"
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"Even though he's not technically your brother."
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"Actually, I'm... I'm... It's better for me this way,"
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"that it's all out in the open."
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"You know, the ones who decided"
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"they didn't want you for some reason."
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"Okay?"
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"Way."
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"I've just been pretending to be twins"
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"all these years so that he wouldn't be upset."
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"If-- If Andrew knew he was adopted it would just--"
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"Hold on."
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"How can you be sure he's the one who's adopted?"
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"That's my parents right there."
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"You tell me."
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"Does your mother always wear a tie?"
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"That's my dad."
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"Hey, bro. Ready to get some dinner?"
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"You know, Andrew..."
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"Why his real parents didn't want him..."
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"I'll never know."
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"Well, they probably just didn't love me."
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"No biggie. Let's go."
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"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"
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"Mom!"
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"Well, speak of the devil."
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"All right, I've had a bit of a change of heart,"
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"Really, Bill? I'm very impressed."
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"What, 200 bucks? That's all?"
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"Well, I can't give back all the money."
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"Seriously, if you have any ideas..."
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"I think we've come up with a solution."
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"Yeah, tell him, Robert."
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"What we could do-- See, according to Robert,"
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"we can write off your extra salary"
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"as a second job in another division"
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"that's running a budget surplus."
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"Tell him, Robert."
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"If we were to-- See, what Robert means is,"
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"is if we give you a fake job, you know, like say..."
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"creative consultant to our executive pool supervisor,"
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"we could write off your raise on a technicality."
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"Oh, yeah, if it works for you, it works for us."
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"Alrighty."
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"Great, Bill. See, I knew we could solve this."
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"Nice doing business with you, gentlemen."
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"Say, Dave, why don't you come on out to the house this weekend?"
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"Can I come?"
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"Oh, sure. Yes, of course."
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"But I thought this was a made-up job."
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"A technicality."
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"You missed a leaf over there."
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"Good dog."
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"This is livin'."
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"Yeah, ain't that so."
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"Hey, wait. What--? Where's the guys?"
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"Hey ya!"
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"Thanks, Jim."
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"Tell him I'm busy."
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"Okay."
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"I'm just gonna go downstairs for a while, okay?"
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