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Clips from NewsRadio - Twins (S03E03)

"Did you have a good flight?"
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"Yes I did, Matthew."
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"What neat co-workers you have."
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"[LAUGHING] Oh, God, I'm..."
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"That's Andrew."
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"Gotcha!"
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"Wow. Really."
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"Hang on a second. Which one is..."
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"which? You're...?"
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"Well... Oh, yeah, yeah,"
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"I've got it."
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"CATHERINE: Those two don't look anything alike."
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"Well, you know what I think."
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"That's not how DNA works."
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"Oh, how does it work?"
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"Why'd you have to do that?"
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"Hey, fellas."
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"It's me! Matthew."
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"I couldn't help noticing"
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"that you really don't look anything like Matthew."
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"Why would I be offended by that?"
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"Sure we are!"
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"Me, Andrew, Matthew, Matthew..."
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"Okay, obviously we're not twins."
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"What?"
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"Matthew is adopted."
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"No, I figured it out."
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"I promised my parents I'd never tell him."
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"You guys know how Matthew is."
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"Hey... Oh, there you are."
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"I was lookin' for you."
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"I was lookin' all over for you..."
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"you old scoundrel."
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"Um, I wanna show them the thing we did"
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"Third place. Don't be embarrassed."
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"Five, six, seven, eight."
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"BOTH: ♪ Wake up and brush your teeth ♪"
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"♪ Is it me? ♪"
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"And do the special bow."
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"Oh, that was great!"
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"Oh, we're gonna show Bill."
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"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard."
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"Busy."
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"So, what are you planning to say to Jimmy about the budget cuts?"
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"Well, I figured I'd--"
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"tried to cut the fat around here,"
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"you said, and I quote,"
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"No, in fact, it's the exact opposite."
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"Think about it."
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"Well--"
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"Morning, Ralph."
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"I love that joke. You wanted to see me?"
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"All right."
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"Is this some sort of a slush fund for you?"
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"No! No. Is it money that's actually spent"
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"on another one of your companies? No."
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"Uh-huh, all right. Uh...for a piece of equipment?"
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"No."
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"For an employee?"
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"Did somebody renegotiate their contract,"
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"get a huge raise,"
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"then have a confidentiality clause put in"
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"so that no one would know what they are earning"
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"I see. Okay."
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"Okay, okay. Dave, Dave,"
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"I would love to help you out, but if I reveal"
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"I'm gonna have to pay this particular person an extra 7000."
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"Mm-hm. That's all right."
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"It's Bill. I know."
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"I wasn't supposed to tell."
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"Did you just cost us another seven grand?"
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"They literally took the shirt right off my back."
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"But this is a silent protest."
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"No, it's not."
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"You just want Catherine to see you without your shirt on."
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"Right, Catherine?"
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"Yeah, the budget cutting must stop!"
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"People, please."
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"Budget cuts are a fact of life."
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"If Jimmy tells us to tighten our belts,"
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"Yes, I do. I say, "Cinch it up nice and snug, sir."
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"I can take it.""
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"Really? You're damn right."
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"Why, back in the early days of radio,"
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"all they had were jungle drums beating the rhythmic message"
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"of traffic and weather from village to village."
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"But did they complain?"
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"Hell no, because you got a massive secret raise"
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"Exactly. No! What?"
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"What?"
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"You mean that Mr. James"
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"is taking all of our office furniture"
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"so that he can give Bill more money?"
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"DAVE: Uh-huh."
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"That is completely bogus."
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"And you, sir, are completely bogus as well."
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"It's only money, people."
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"So what?"
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"Oh, hold up. Can you define "tad"?"
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"Four, tops."
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"You get 16 times what I get?"
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"Yes, but it's really not that much."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"Well, you make virtually nothing,"
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"so 16 times virtually nothing"
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"Come on, you guys."
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"what Beth makes, we'll look back on this and laugh."
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"Oh, what merry times those will be."
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"Hey, there."
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"Yeah, unless we get all mischievous"
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"and switch 'em up on ya. Right, bro?"
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"Oh, my God, I didn't even think about that."
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"Put it right up here, bro."
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"but, uh, you and Andrew, you don't--"
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"You don't really look that much alike."
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"BETH: Yes, they do."
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"What do you--? What do you mean?"
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"You're handsomer."
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"but somehow, you're more handsome."
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