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Clips from The Office - Did I Stutter? (S04E04)

"gangs would be tickling each other."
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"Well, it's effective."
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"I think it's self-explanatory. Hey, Jim! Come here for a second."
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"Oh, boy."
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"How do you live with a franchise this bad?"
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"On a wing and a prayer, mostly."
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"Listen, while I have you here with Toby,"
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"(CHUCKLES) A formal warning?"
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"It's actually not a joke. I know how you spend your time here."
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"And honestly, if you spent as much time selling"
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"we wouldn't be having this conversation."
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"I'm sorry, is this because I talked to Wallace about your website?"
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"Because I really didn't mean to go over your head."
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"This has nothing to do with that, all right?"
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"I'm sorry, then do you mind explaining it a little better?"
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"Whoa. Don't get all defensive, all right?"
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"It's just a warning."
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"If you want the details, Toby can provide them. You take it easy, all right?"
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"I'd say all the goofing around at Pam's desk"
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"and hanging out with Pam has finally caught up to him."
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"You know, with Pam."
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"talking about bureaucratic stuff."
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"(CONTINUES IMITATION)"
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"It's my car now."
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"I gave you a deal based on what you said to me."
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"Yeah, well, seller beware. Now if you'll excuse me,"
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"I've got to monitor a three-way bidding war for my car on eBay."
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""A stupid, idiotic numbskull"
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""to a smart and capable man named Dwight."
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""This is shaping up to be an awesome day for Dwight.""
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"and Toby gave me some suggestions on how to discipline him."
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"So I am now going to fake fire him."
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"It's the only possible solution I have left."
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"then we would've thought that you were actually firing him."
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"I'm not firing him! I will need you to act like I am firing him."
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"Just... What I'm going to do is I'm going to pretend that I'm firing him."
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"Do you get it? I'm teaching him a lesson."
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"He needs to learn humility, all right? That's all I'm..."
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"Okay, here he comes. Let's just play-act."
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"Stanley, may I talk to you for a second?"
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"I am serious. We are all serious."
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"and I'm filing a lawsuit, and I'm gonna tell them about every stupid thing"
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"you've ever done up in this office."
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"All right, okay."
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"You know what? Now you know how I feel."
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"This was a fake firing."
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"So I'm not fired."
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"(SIGHS) That's it."
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"And..."
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"Do you have anything to say to me?"
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"Ooh, yes, I do."
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"What is wrong with you? Do you have any sense at all?"
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"Do you have any idea how to run an office?"
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"Every day you do something stupider than you did the day before."
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"And I think, "There's no possible way he can top that.""
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"But what do you do? You find a way, damn it, to top it."
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"Hey, stop it!"
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"Okay, everybody out."
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"JIM: Who? Yeah, everybody except Stanley."
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"Let's go."
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"I can't find my glasses. Okay, you know what?"
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"(EXCLAIMS)"
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"And then in the other corner, you have Stanley, and he's mad."
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"So that's about it."
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"I don't understand why you keep picking on me."
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"Oh, for the love of God."
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"do, and I don't know why, so please help me understand."
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"everything you would do, I would do it the opposite way."
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"maybe you are feeling that you don't respect me"
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"because you don't know me very well."
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"Michael, I've known you a very long time,"
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"and the more I've gotten to know you, the less I've come to respect you."
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"Any other theories?"
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"I accept that."
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"Can't allow it."
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"Fair enough."
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"Rodney Dangerfield."
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"(IMITATING DANGERFIELD) "Hey, I don't get no respect. No respect at all."
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""When I was in the sandbox as a kid, I got no respect."
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""My wife likes to talk after sex."
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""So she called me from a hotel room, said, 'I don't respect you.'"
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""Thoughtless."
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""You know what don't get no respect? Airplane food."
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""Why don't they just make the plane out of the airline food?"
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""If you don't get no respect, you might be a redneck.""
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""Respect is nice." Borat."
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""What's the deal with Grape-Nuts? No grapes, no nuts."
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""I don't get no respect.""
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"So I'm thinking as a reward for our loyal clients"
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"Feedback, anybody? Stanley?"
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"Has potential to be your best idea yet."
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"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard."
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"(SIGHS) Damn it, Phyllis."
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"All right, everybody out except Phyllis."
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"Michael, we don't know what you're talking about."
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"If you were a real star, you'd put your face in it."
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"Hold your breath."
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"MICHAEL: Today's a very special day for me. And it's really not about me."
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"Shut up."
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"You're moving in the wrong direction."
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"Everybody, we're gonna have a little brainstorming session"
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"Pam clearly has just given up trying."
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"That, in the conference room?"
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"Why don't we go ask him now?"
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"and look over, and there's an Xterra next to you, they're always driven by chicks."
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"Scratch!"
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"you can donate it to a person that you'd like to see die in a car crash, or"
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"It will be towed by a donkey."
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"Can I think about it?"
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"other than me... You."
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"I never said you could do that."
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"Say it."
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"Oh, thanks."
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"All the girlfriends that I've ever had have worn glasses."
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"Have you ever been in a gang?"
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"The Warriors, Newsies. Okay."
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"Hey, what happened? What did Ryan want?"
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"Oh, what's Dwight up to? Oh, probably nothing."
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""named Andy Bernard sold his Xterra"
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"Okay, everybody. Shh. Listen up. Earlier today, Stanley sassed me,"
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