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Clips from American Dad! - An Apocalypse to Remember (S02E02)

"- Dad, I'm going with you. - Sure, you're part of the family..."
American Dad!
"Of course. I skimmed it for keywords, which were "black" and "face.""
American Dad!
"I asked Hayley if I could squeeze her boob."
American Dad!
"Morning, everyone."
American Dad!
"Come on, you're not still mad about last night are you?"
American Dad!
"You know, he was the narrator in March of the Penguins."
American Dad!
"Give me that. I'll put in this sharpening stone."
American Dad!
"It worked for the garbage disposal..."
American Dad!
"I deserve a little respect."
American Dad!
"In order to ensure maximum verisimilitude..."
American Dad!
"...the exercise must be treated as 100-percent real."
American Dad!
"Understood?"
American Dad!
"Sorry I'm late, sir. Is this real?"
American Dad!
"You're in our hearts."
American Dad!
"I just need to find a really desperate girl."
American Dad!
"Then you should try JDate. It's the place where Jewish singles meet."
American Dad!
"Here we are, safely away from all the devastation."
American Dad!
"My God, it's really over."
American Dad!
"- What'll we eat? - I can't swim."
American Dad!
"- Dad, I'm scared. - I wanna say something too."
American Dad!
"First, your boss called about you leaving..."
American Dad!
"If they think you're a boob now..."
American Dad!
"Look, Dad's back."
American Dad!
"You saved us from nuclear annihilation. We have complete faith in you."
American Dad!
"...I'll lose their respect again."
American Dad!
"A perfect follow-up to the chocolate-chip waffles."
American Dad!
"Trish, do you have a bag or some kind of container?"
American Dad!
"I went in with a deviated septum and figured..."
American Dad!
"- It's a good first date? - What do you think about doing it a...?"
American Dad!
"I know, isn't he great?"
American Dad!
"We finally did it!"
American Dad!
"- We're supposed to eat that? - Well, you are."
American Dad!
"Dig in. We'll use the pelt for napkins and save the wishbone for game night."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. Stan, it's a bear."
American Dad!
"- Quick, let's get in the car. - No, running is certain death."
American Dad!
"You folks on vacation?"
American Dad!
"- Some people go by "Buck." - No, "Buckle" feels right."
American Dad!
"Oh, wait, bear testicles. Yep, those are bear testicles. Man bear."
American Dad!
"Carved everything you see."
American Dad!
"Good one."
American Dad!
"- Dad wanted us to eat possum. - Nothing wrong with possum, son."
American Dad!
"Other than the fact that it's riddled with parasites. Could kill you."
American Dad!
"His name was Ricky and we kept him in a secret government lab..."
American Dad!
"...after getting into the garbage and eating some chocolate."
American Dad!
"At the risk of sounding a little meshuga..."
American Dad!
"Jacob, what's the rush?"
American Dad!
"It's my bubbie down in Boca."
American Dad!
"The doctors gave her two weeks..."
American Dad!
"...and her last wish was to be at my wedding."
American Dad!
"We should've just stayed with Buckle."
American Dad!
"Maybe he still has some food left. I'm starving."
American Dad!
"There's gotta be a mess hall around here somewhere."
American Dad!
"All right."
American Dad!
"Marlee Matlin sucks."
American Dad!
"It's just one."
American Dad!
"Buckle was right. Mutants!"
American Dad!
"You saved a mutant."
American Dad!
"Wait. I'm not a mutant."
American Dad!
"You have to believe me, there's no such thing as mutants."
American Dad!
"There's no such thing as mutants because the world didn't end."
American Dad!
"Oh, I tell a great story and I'm a liar..."
American Dad!
"I can't believe you, Stan."
American Dad!
"What? No."
American Dad!
"Wait! Where are you folks going?"
American Dad!
"You're creeping me out."
American Dad!
"- No. You don't know what you're doing. - There it is."
American Dad!
"That's right. They make me see colors and I'm keeping them."
American Dad!
"- I swear it was him. - Enough, Stan. No one's listening."
American Dad!
"...and lots and lots of Jews."
American Dad!
"It's a Jewish affair. I'll be impersonating a Jew."
American Dad!
"Nice meeting you, Mr. Rothberg. I'm out of here."
American Dad!
"Yeah, look, I lied. I'm not an orthodontist."
American Dad!
"Oh, God, here she comes."
American Dad!
"Maybe I imagined the mountain man. Maybe I am just a boob."
American Dad!
"Get it? Me neither."
American Dad!
"It's just, I haven't seen a woman in over a decade and I'm so desperate."
American Dad!
"Stan, you really saved my tokhes back there."
American Dad!
"Oh, honey, everyone makes mistakes sometimes."
American Dad!
"So I guess what you're saying is, I'm only human."
American Dad!
"That's right. Give me a hug."
American Dad!
"What do you think, man?"
American Dad!
"Course, you've also ingested enough poisonous berries to kill a small elephant."
American Dad!
"What? No, no, no, it's okay. I'm in a good place."
American Dad!
"- Yep. - What? No."
American Dad!
"Yeah. Yeah, right there. Take my pollen."
American Dad!
"Forget it. I'm tired of looking at you. Go down to the lake."
American Dad!
"I love that man."
American Dad!
"Francine, you look great. Steve, handsome as hell."
American Dad!
"Hayley, can you get the door for us?"
American Dad!
"...when we're going to a banquet honoring minorities."
American Dad!
"But you won't... I've forgotten my point."
American Dad!
"Can you believe we'll meet Denzel Washington?"
American Dad!
"Time to celebrate our brothers from other mothers."
American Dad!
"Yes, yes. Trust me."
American Dad!
"You made us look like complete racists back there."
American Dad!
"Did you even read the invitation?"
American Dad!
"It says, " Black people changing the face of America. " What a boob."
American Dad!
"What was that, Steve?"
American Dad!
"I love it when you kids get along."
American Dad!
"Hurry up, Roger. Grey's Anatomy starts in just three minutes."
American Dad!
"Don't you think I know that?"
American Dad!
"I'm calling it the "Sandra Oh.""
American Dad!
"I'd like to breathe her bath water."
American Dad!
"Oh, no. What's happening?"
American Dad!
"Well, I guess TV night's canceled."
American Dad!
"There's only one thing I do with non-blended drinks and that's drive."
American Dad!
"We met Morgan Freeman, didn't we? You got to shake his hand, Steve."
American Dad!
"- I was prying it off my throat. - Boy, was he riled up."
American Dad!
"Powerful, powerful piece of cinema. Never saw it."
American Dad!
"I need help, people. My blender broke last night..."
American Dad!
"...which inexplicably broke that same night."
American Dad!
"Stan, I wouldn't do that..."
American Dad!
"The Boob strikes again."
American Dad!
"- What's so funny? - Oh, nothing."
American Dad!
"No, he said, "The Boob strikes again" and then you all laughed."
American Dad!
"Who's "The Boob"? Is that what you call me?"
American Dad!
"It's just a nickname, honey. It doesn't mean anything."
American Dad!
"It's like "fatty" or "baby penis.""
American Dad!
"How dare you."
American Dad!
"- You're in the pantry. - I'm looking for peaches!"
American Dad!
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