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Clips from Veep - Alicia (S03E03)

"going to let them dictate to me."
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"Because that is my decision."
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"Right! But they do not own me!"
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"- They really don't, ma'am. - No, they don't!"
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"No, they don't!"
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"we're losing child care?"
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"Replacing that with seniors?"
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"Okay, Benevolent Taxi Driver should move to his left."
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"Mr. Davis, can you move to the left, please?"
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"- It's Miss Dee! My VIP! - Excuse me, ma'am."
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"Could you go back to where you were standing?"
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"It'll be real fast."
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"- Child Care has been axed. - What?"
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"You need to dump Alicia... sensitively."
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"Yes, she's really, really into it."
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"What's wrong?"
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"You look like you killed a hooker."
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"this is slightly worse, Alicia."
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"You may know what I'm about to say, so please feel free to say it."
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"Could I talk to Amy?"
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"Thank you. Yes. Amy?"
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"Amy's on a phone and walking."
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"- We're not gonna need you. - This is unbelievable."
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"I know, and I apologize if we have wasted your time."
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"- We gonna use that time to kick your ass. - Dee."
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"I'm angry too, I wanna kick my own ass. I'll do it for you."
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"I've punched myself in the face before."
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"- I ran into a wall once. - I'm freakin' tired of you, okay?"
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"to visit a kindergarten. You could come with us!"
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"What do we look like going to any Virginia?"
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"I don't know who it's from, but I have to take this call."
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"- Mike McClintock... - No, you are not taking it."
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"I have to take this! I have to do this!"
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"What did you just say?"
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"I... Where I grew up, my dad called my mom a cow all the time."
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"It's not bad, it's homey and friendly."
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"I love you, baby, you're a cow."
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"You gonna punch the kid?"
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"- Alicia, you and I should talk. - Out that door"
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"before I nail your squawky throat to it."
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"I can feel that air crackling between us, Amy."
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"Amy, what is this bushel of fuck talking about?"
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"Leon, would you mind smashing his head off"
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"She must feel horrible."
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"That's actually the least of my worries right now."
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"Your mom has gone quiet."
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"- I'm fucked, Ben. I'm fucked. - Well, there's a remedy."
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"by loveable losers"
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"since way back. It's called begging."
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"- Beg? - Yeah."
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"Jonah, that fucking lowlife?"
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"That fucking lowlife? You gotta go lower!"
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"You gotta go lower than the lowest lowlife."
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"You gotta dig and dig and dig"
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"until you get to the point where you wish you were dead."
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"Okay? And that's base camp."
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"- I gotta beg. - Yeah."
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"This could help a little bit. Why don't you take one of these?"
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"- What is it? - I don't know, I found them in my desk."
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"How long has she been like this?"
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"- Forever. - 15 minutes."
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"- Okay. - Whoa, wait. Come on..."
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"Okay. Your big day is a travesty. I get it."
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"Or my 18th birthday. Or every other birthday, okay?"
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"Your entire life has been leading up to this moment."
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"As a result of that, my entire life has been awful."
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"watching C-SPAN instead of Sesame Street,"
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"going to memorials of old Israeli men that I've never even heard of."
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"I have had a hard, lonely, miserable life."
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"The only thing that is going to make it worthwhile"
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"is if I become the daughter of the next President"
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"of the United States. So you need to go out there."
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"And you need to stop behaving like a little bitch."
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"Okay, sweetie, I am not a bitch,"
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"but thanks."
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"And that jacket doesn't work, by the way. You look like a waiter."
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"Oh, God damn it."
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"It's okay. I fixed her."
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"Jonah. J-Rock. J-Riggedy."
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"I'm asking you kindly to not run the cow story, okay?"
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"I'm appealing to your better nature."
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"Mike, I don't have one of those."
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"Jonah, please. I'm begging you. I'm begging you."
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"Please, Jonah. I'm begging. Please."
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"- Don't run with the story. - Now we're begging."
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"Spin the ol' dial on Radio McClintock, see what it lands on."
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"- Really? - Mm-hmm."
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"I don't know... Goober Peas?"
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"- I have no fucking idea what that is. - It's an old Civil War song."
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"- For real? - Yeah."
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"Perfect. It's like a history lesson. Hit me up."
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"- No. - Five, six, seven, eight..."
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"When a horseman passes, soldiers have a rule"
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"They cry out at their loudest"
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"Mister, where's your mule?"
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"Put a little twang in it. Come on."
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"But another pleasure more enchantinger than these"
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"Is wearing out your grinders, eating goober peas!"
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"Play the banjo."
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"Peas, peas, peas, peas, eating goober peas"
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"Goodness, how delicious, eating goober peas..."
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"Tip that old Yankee gray!"
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"Peas, peas, peas, peas..."
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"Sir, this is your beauty pageant of the nearly dead."
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"Okay, everybody give me a smile and wave."
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"- None of these. - Okay."
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"- You okay, ma'am? - I just need my speech."
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"Good to have you back, ma'am. The speech isn't ready yet."
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"Blah blah blah, I am running."
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"And I wasn't kidding about that jacket."
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"Operation Lady POTUS is go."
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"Amy, it's flashing. Why is that?"
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"Ma'am, sign off on the Steps lineup."
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"- We still have a gap. - Just spread all these guys out."
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"Get rid of this guy. He looks like Jeffrey Dahmer."
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"- Dan, maybe today? - Sorry, one second."
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"The beltway is clear. Thank you, Selina."
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"I'm glad there's no more traffic."
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"- Amen. - Get off the damn phone, Dan."
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"- Ma'am, it's SNL. - Give this to me."
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