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Clips from Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open - SNL

CARROTS. SHE IS THE BEST TALKER YOU EVER

"CARROTS. SHE IS THE BEST TALKER YOU EVER"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I ALWAYS SAY, LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES.

"I ALWAYS SAY, LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

MESSAGES AND PHONE ALERTS, SAYING I WAS A SNEAKY LITTLE

"MESSAGES AND PHONE ALERTS, SAYING I WAS A SNEAKY LITTLE"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

HIS NAME WAS SERGEI KISLEYA. I REMEMBER ANY NAME WITH GAY

"HIS NAME WAS SERGEI KISLEYA. I REMEMBER ANY NAME WITH GAY"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER OF THESE CHOCOLATES.

"I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHER OF THESE CHOCOLATES."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND SEE MR. TRUMP.

"I WISH I COULD GO BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND SEE MR. TRUMP."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

HELLO. MY NAME IS JEFF, JEFF SESSIONS. WOULD YOU LIKE A CHOCOLATE?

"HELLO. MY NAME IS JEFF, JEFF SESSIONS. WOULD YOU LIKE A CHOCOLATE?"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I AM THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE WHOLE UNITED STATES.

"I AM THE ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE WHOLE UNITED STATES."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

HE SHOOK MY HAND LIKE THIS. BEING IN THE GOVERNMENT IS SO

"HE SHOOK MY HAND LIKE THIS. BEING IN THE GOVERNMENT IS SO"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

HEARD. THEY SAY SHE COULD SELL STINK TO

"HEARD. THEY SAY SHE COULD SELL STINK TO"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I WAS ON THE COVER OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES," YOU WANT TO SEE?

"I WAS ON THE COVER OF "THE NEW YORK TIMES," YOU WANT TO SEE?"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

ROLL FOR A WHOLE HOUR. WE WAS ALL AS HAPPY AS A MONKEY

"ROLL FOR A WHOLE HOUR. WE WAS ALL AS HAPPY AS A MONKEY"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I STARTED RUNNING, AND RUNNING. I ENDED ALL THE WAY SITTING AT

"I STARTED RUNNING, AND RUNNING. I ENDED ALL THE WAY SITTING AT"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

THIS BUS STOP WITH YOU. >> WELL IT IS A NICE DAY FOR IT.

"THIS BUS STOP WITH YOU. >> WELL IT IS A NICE DAY FOR IT."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

WITH A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING. THIS SENATOR FROM UP NORTH

"WITH A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING. THIS SENATOR FROM UP NORTH"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

STARTED ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT, RUSSIA, IF I

"STARTED ASKING ME ALL THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT, RUSSIA, IF I"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

EVER TALKED TO THEM. I GOT SO NERVOUS AND CONFUSED I

"EVER TALKED TO THEM. I GOT SO NERVOUS AND CONFUSED I"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

GOT ABOUT AS WORKED UP AS A DOUBLE DONGED PIGGY IN A ROOM

"GOT ABOUT AS WORKED UP AS A DOUBLE DONGED PIGGY IN A ROOM"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I MET WITH A FELLOW WHO TURNED OUT TO BE RUSSIAN ON THE ACCOUNT

"I MET WITH A FELLOW WHO TURNED OUT TO BE RUSSIAN ON THE ACCOUNT"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I JUST GOT TO PROVE TO EVERYBODY THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY TIES TO

"I JUST GOT TO PROVE TO EVERYBODY THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY TIES TO"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

>> I WASN'T GOING TO REMEMBER IT ANYWAY.

">> I WASN'T GOING TO REMEMBER IT ANYWAY."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

>> OH, A LOT OF PEOPLE IN ALABAMA REMEMBER THAT, SIR.

">> OH, A LOT OF PEOPLE IN ALABAMA REMEMBER THAT, SIR."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

MY NAME'S MINNY, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, I AM FROM A DIFFERENT MOVIE.

"MY NAME'S MINNY, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, I AM FROM A DIFFERENT MOVIE."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

I GOT TO MEET THE PRESIDENT AND EVERYTHING.

"I GOT TO MEET THE PRESIDENT AND EVERYTHING."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

FULL OF SOWS. SO, I SAID NO, I NEVER TALKED TO

"FULL OF SOWS. SO, I SAID NO, I NEVER TALKED TO"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

>> UH-HUH. >> AND I HAVE A PIE THAT I BAKED

">> UH-HUH. >> AND I HAVE A PIE THAT I BAKED"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

FOLKS WERE THRILLED ON THE ACCOUNT OF IT WAS REAL WORD ON A

"FOLKS WERE THRILLED ON THE ACCOUNT OF IT WAS REAL WORD ON A"

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open

>> ALL RIGHT, WELL I AM GOING TO HAVE ONE.

">> ALL RIGHT, WELL I AM GOING TO HAVE ONE."

Jeff Sessions Gump Cold Open