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Clips from Seinfeld - The Cafe (S03E03)

"This woman he's dating is making him take this IQ test for this course."
Seinfeld
"IQ tests are totally bogus. They prove nothing."
Seinfeld
"- You'll do well. You're smart. - No, see, he's not smart."
Seinfeld
"People think he's smart, but he's not."
Seinfeld
"What did you get on your SATs?"
Seinfeld
"It varies."
Seinfeld
"- One forty-five! - Get out of here."
Seinfeld
"- You get out of here. - You get out of here."
Seinfeld
"Maybe you should take the test for me."
Seinfeld
"That would be something, cheating on an IQ test."
Seinfeld
"Remember in college when you passed Lettick the test..."
Seinfeld
"- You became a legend after that. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I really had some guts back then."
Seinfeld
"- Why don't we do it again? - What?"
Seinfeld
"You could take the IQ test for me."
Seinfeld
"I'll pass it to you out of a window. She lives on the first floor."
Seinfeld
"- You serious? - Why not?"
Seinfeld
"Where would I take the test?"
Seinfeld
"She lives around the corner. Take it here or go to the coffee shop."
Seinfeld
"You won't hear a peep."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, what do you think? - Hey, I love a good caper."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's what it is, isn't it? A caper."
Seinfeld
"You'll do it?"
Seinfeld
"- What the hey. - Yeah! Beautiful!"
Seinfeld
"Sorry."
Seinfeld
"- Welcome to the Dream Café. - Well, I've been looking forward to it."
Seinfeld
"How did you hear about us?"
Seinfeld
"People. People are talking."
Seinfeld
"Smoking or nonsmoking? We are proud to offer both."
Seinfeld
"- Nonsmoking would be great. - Very good."
Seinfeld
"A steaming hot, folded face cloth for your pleasure."
Seinfeld
"- Thank you. - Our specials are tacos..."
Seinfeld
"...moussaka and franks and beans."
Seinfeld
"Well, what do you recommend, my good fellow?"
Seinfeld
"- The turkey. - Well, the turkey it'll be."
Seinfeld
"May I say you have a splendid establishment here, my friend."
Seinfeld
"I'm sure you'll flourish at this location for many, many years."
Seinfeld
"You're a very kind man. Very kind. Thank you."
Seinfeld
"Very kind."
Seinfeld
"Very kind. I am a kind man."
Seinfeld
"Snap out of it, you stupid jerk."
Seinfeld
"You're eating a turkey sandwich. You want a Nobel Prize?"
Seinfeld
"You go in the living room, I'll take the test in here."
Seinfeld
"But why?"
Seinfeld
"I won't be able to concentrate in front of you."
Seinfeld
"Are you kidding me?"
Seinfeld
"This is the best tool we have today of measuring a person's intelligence."
Seinfeld
"Well, I certainly don't place any importance on it."
Seinfeld
"- Good luck. - Don't need it."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. Here's the test. Thanks for doing this."
Seinfeld
"- Okay. - Thanks again."
Seinfeld
"And don't settle for 145. You can do better. You're a genius."
Seinfeld
"Thank you, Babu."
Seinfeld
"You have quite a flair. You are quite the restaurateur, I must say."
Seinfeld
"- It is indeed my pleasure. - Oh, please."
Seinfeld
"Welcome to the Dream Café."
Seinfeld
"- Our specials today- - Oh, no, no. I'll just have tea and toast."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"Well, I'll have the rigatoni."
Seinfeld
"Oh, very good choice. Very good."
Seinfeld
"So you got the test. You're cheating."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, let me ask you something."
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Elaine. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"She hasn't spoken to him since and now he says he wants the jacket back."
Seinfeld
"- So? - Well, I'm not giving it back."
Seinfeld
"Why not?"
Seinfeld
"Because I meet a lot of women in this jacket. They're attracted to it."
Seinfeld
"Why do you think my mother went out with him?"
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, isn't there, like, a statue of limitations on that?"
Seinfeld
"Statute."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Statute of limitations."
Seinfeld
"It's not a statue."
Seinfeld
"No, it's statue."
Seinfeld
"Fine. It's a sculpture of limitations."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. Just wait a minute. Elaine. Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Now, you're smart. Is it statue or statute of limitations?"
Seinfeld
"- Statute. - Oh, I really think you're wrong."
Seinfeld
"What test?"
Seinfeld
"- An IQ test. - Why are you taking an IQ test?"
Seinfeld
"- It's for George. - George?"
Seinfeld
"But why are you taking an IQ test for George?"
Seinfeld
"Would you please?!"
Seinfeld
"- Is it for a job or something? - Later!"
Seinfeld
"- You're positive it's statute? - Yes! Yes!"
Seinfeld
"Welcome, welcome. A steaming hot face cloth-"
Seinfeld
"- George? - Yeah?"
Seinfeld
"The door's locked."
Seinfeld
"Oh, it's locked?"
Seinfeld
"I need to get something."
Seinfeld
"Monica, I'm really focused here. This stuff's a killer."
Seinfeld
"- George! - Wish I could."
Seinfeld
"If you don't mind... Okay."
Seinfeld
"- I'm terribly sorry. - Oh, man!"
Seinfeld
"Go ahead. I'll take care of it."
Seinfeld
"Please, I'm very sorry."
Seinfeld
"Tell your friends."
Seinfeld
"You're a very kind man."
Seinfeld
"Babu, may I say something?"
Seinfeld
"Of course. You're very smart man. I listen."
Seinfeld
"I am not a restaurateur by any means, but it occurred to me that perhaps..."
Seinfeld
"...you might serve some dishes from your native Pakistan..."
Seinfeld
"...as opposed to, say, the franks and beans, for example."
Seinfeld
"- There are no Pakistani people here. - It doesn't matter."
Seinfeld
"...in the whole neighbourhood."
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"You see everything, don't you?"
Seinfeld
"Well, you know, not everything. I do what I can."
Seinfeld
"I close down today. And when I open again, it will be a Pakistani restaurant."
Seinfeld
"Very special."
Seinfeld
"Who else would've gone to the trouble to help this immigrant?"
Seinfeld
"I am special. My mother was right."
Seinfeld
"Of course, I've never had Pakistani food. How bad could it be?"
Seinfeld
"- It was an accident. - What, did you go on a picnic?"
Seinfeld
"Babu Bhatt did it."
Seinfeld
"Babu Bhatt?"
Seinfeld
"- How am I going to explain this? - Time's up, George."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
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