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Clips from Seinfeld - The Cafe (S03E03)

"Everybody has this in their neighbourhood. It's a leather store..."
Seinfeld
"Eventually, when aliens land and the mothership from Close Encounters-"
Seinfeld
"I've never been a guinea pig. Been a sheep, been a toady..."
Seinfeld
"...if they don't see anyone else in there."
Seinfeld
"It's Latin. I read it in some book. I just wanted to say it out loud."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Why must I always be the focal point of attention?"
Seinfeld
"Why must you always be the focal point of attention?"
Seinfeld
"It's just a Latin phrase. It does not mean anything. Now, what is this test?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, that sounds like fun. - Yeah, fun."
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"- I don't even know my IQ. - Mine's 145."
Seinfeld
"...out the window?"
Seinfeld
"- No, too noisy. - Take it at the Dream Café."
Seinfeld
"My name is Babu Bhatt. I will be your waiter."
Seinfeld
"Who else would do something like this? Nobody."
Seinfeld
"Nobody thinks about people the way I do."
Seinfeld
"I think you're making too much of this. IQ tests don't mean anything."
Seinfeld
"Well, I think you're wrong about that."
Seinfeld
"And now, if you'll excuse me, I'd really like to get started, please."
Seinfeld
"What's going on? I've been here 20 minutes."
Seinfeld
"- What time do you want me back? - Twenty to 3."
Seinfeld
"- Tea and toast. - Eat something! Babu."
Seinfeld
"This guy leaves this jacket at my mother's house two years ago."
Seinfeld
"- You all right? - Yeah. Okay."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I have to take this test. I don't have a lot of time."
Seinfeld
"Look, can I explain it to you later?"
Seinfeld
"Babu!"
Seinfeld
"- I'm out of time, anyway. - Please forgive me. Please."
Seinfeld
"It's all right. She was cheating anyway."
Seinfeld
"Babu..."
Seinfeld
"- You're Pakistani, right? - Yes, Pakistani. Yes."
Seinfeld
"You would have the only authentic Pakistani restaurant..."
Seinfeld
"I am such a great guy."
Seinfeld
"- And coffee? - Yeah. Had some coffee, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Why would I go out the door? The window's right here."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Georgie! - I'm coming up."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Eighty-five, Jerry! 85 IQ."
Seinfeld
"He's coming up?"
Seinfeld
"No. No, come on. I guarantee it."
Seinfeld
"- All right, I'll ask her. - Okay. Now, where am I gonna take it?"
Seinfeld
"Well, congratulations, my friend."
Seinfeld
"You go back in that kitchen, tell your chef I want the works."
Seinfeld
"Very good?"
Seinfeld
"I am very, very great."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing? - Quiet. Don't say anything."
Seinfeld
"I'm not leaving till you give me that jacket!"
Seinfeld
"- Well, you can't leave now. - What?"
Seinfeld
"Babu..."
Seinfeld
"- I think I'll just take the check. - You bad man!"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"- Here you go. - Thanks."
Seinfeld
"...your Batmen, your Spider-Men, your Elastic Men."
Seinfeld
"...but did you have to come through my wall?"
Seinfeld
"There's always one location in your neighbourhood, one store..."
Seinfeld
"...that's constantly changing hands."
Seinfeld
"...then it's a yoghurt shop, it's a pet supply."
Seinfeld
"It's constantly changing. Nobody can do business there."
Seinfeld
"Stores open up and then they just disappear without a trace."
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"Nobody knows what happened."
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"The bottom will slowly open and all these store owners will wander out..."
Seinfeld
"...in a daze, going, I thought there was gonna be more walk-in traffic."
Seinfeld
"She thinks I'm nice."
Seinfeld
"- Women don't want nice. - Amazing."
Seinfeld
"- Poor guy. - Why is nice bad?"
Seinfeld
"What's that smell? What are you wearing?"
Seinfeld
"What? A little cologne."
Seinfeld
"Manly."
Seinfeld
"- Monica wants me to wear it. - Why didn't you say no?"
Seinfeld
"I'm too nice."
Seinfeld
"Look at this poor guy. His family's probably back in Pakistan waiting..."
Seinfeld
"...for him to send back money."
Seinfeld
"This is horrible."
Seinfeld
"She wants me to take an IQ test."
Seinfeld
"It's because you're stupid enough to wear the cologne."
Seinfeld
"No. She's taking this course in education for her master's."
Seinfeld
"It's part of her research project, so I have to be a guinea pig."
Seinfeld
"I can't talk to you anymore."
Seinfeld
"She's gonna find out I'm a moron."
Seinfeld
"People think I'm smart, but I'm not smart."
Seinfeld
"Who thinks you're smart?"
Seinfeld
"I won't break 100 on this thing."
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"- What thing? - You don't listen anymore."
Seinfeld
"I'm sure I have a low IQ."
Seinfeld
"I've been lying about my SAT scores for 15 years."
Seinfeld
"- What do you say? - I say 1409."
Seinfeld
"- 1409, that's a good score. - You're telling me."
Seinfeld
"What did you really get?"
Seinfeld
"- You're my friend. - Of course."
Seinfeld
"- I tell you everything, right? - I hope so."
Seinfeld
"Well, this I take to the grave."
Seinfeld
"He's serving Mexican, Italian, Chinese."
Seinfeld
"He's all over the place. That's why no one's going in."
Seinfeld
"Why do you keep watching?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I'm obsessed with it."
Seinfeld
"It's like a spider in the toilet, struggling for survival."
Seinfeld
"And even though you know he's not gonna make it..."
Seinfeld
"...you root for him for a second."
Seinfeld
"Then you flush."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's a spider."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes people won't go in a place..."
Seinfeld
"Do you have to do that? Jerry, don't do that. That is so annoying."
Seinfeld
"- The buzzer? - It's your house."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - It's George."
Seinfeld
"- Casus belli. - What's that?"
Seinfeld
"Come on, go in."
Seinfeld
"Go in."
Seinfeld
"- Have you gone in there? - No. I'm afraid we'll start talking..."
Seinfeld
"...and I'll wind up going partners with him."
Seinfeld
"I could probably shoot him from here. I'd be doing us both a favour."
Seinfeld
"I'm wearing some cologne, all right?"
Seinfeld
"Sure. Fine."
Seinfeld
"Casus belli."
Seinfeld
"Casus belli."
Seinfeld
"- What's that? - Since when do you wear cologne?"
Seinfeld
"Why is what I do so important?"
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"Let me just be. Let me live."
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"- How'd you do on that IQ test? - I didn't take it yet."
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"- What IQ test? - What's casus belli?"
Seinfeld
"- Oh, it's nothing. - Is it about me?"
Seinfeld
"Why can't you just be? Why can't you live?"
Seinfeld
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