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Clips from Archer - Motherless Child (S07E07)

"Oh and keep it on "mute." Carol."
Archer
"My God, get it together."
Archer
"At least this time you're not hooked up to a car battery."
Archer
"Well, it's hard to say, really."
Archer
"Can't hear anything."
Archer
"You do realize I'm not that kind of a doc--"
Archer
"Barry's about to violate the First Law of Robotics..."
Archer
"Let's go, people. The clock is ticking."
Archer
"for these hardworking folks, Barry."
Archer
"Why do you want me to touch the light switch?"
Archer
"Hm? And all the sports drank conveniently spilled"
Archer
"Apparently not."
Archer
"What the shit?"
Archer
"with a nice stiff drink."
Archer
"And then I'm going to kill everybody!"
Archer
"Let me see."
Archer
"Holy shit, now I know you're crazy."
Archer
"Oh!"
Archer
"don't worry about it. I really feel like we should."
Archer
"Oh, you worry about everything."
Archer
"Shitheel."
Archer
"Yeah, so did she struggle?"
Archer
"Either it fascinates or appalls you."
Archer
"Name something a clock would-- Ray."
Archer
"- Maybe... - Carol!"
Archer
"so I brought you some Sports Drank to--"
Archer
"What?"
Archer
"I beg your pardon?"
Archer
"If I could just reconnect with my birth mother, maybe,"
Archer
"Could-- Damn it, I'm underground!"
Archer
"of both time and oxygen!"
Archer
"Oh my God, I look like the Terminator!"
Archer
"Samuel Johnson tells us that puns are the lowest form of comedy,"
Archer
"You were willing to risk that? Oh, that is classic you!"
Archer
"Well, I mean, yeah, but..."
Archer
"Were you gonna say, "This time it's personal"?"
Archer
"well, not thank you, necessarily, but..."
Archer
"Oh, relax."
Archer
"Why, what are you..."
Archer
"Why? Because, you giant flapping anus,"
Archer
"That was obviously sarcasm."
Archer
"you'd be a big, weeping dick."
Archer
"Archer."
Archer
"And whoever these bastards are,"
Archer
"No, this is the face. How do I look?"
Archer
"Mawp. ...not really surprising."
Archer
"Oh, damn it! Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn it!"
Archer
"I can't, I gotta go drive my car now,"
Archer
"No, no, no. Wa-wa-wa-wa-wait."
Archer
"Yeah, so then do that."
Archer
"So now, we have to go through"
Archer
"Barry, you could, ya know, help!"
Archer
"We're going as fast as we can!"
Archer
"maybe spilled an electrolytic solution on the floor"
Archer
"Yeah, but I didn't."
Archer
"So, what did we learn?"
Archer
"Like a bad penny."
Archer
"Yeah, so, uh, you wanna throw it at me now?"
Archer
"Time's a bit of a factor here."
Archer
"Got it! Wait, what? Wait, what?"
Archer
"Yeah, right? Okay, so..."
Archer
"Okay! But just for a second."
Archer
"and I kinda feel like it's gonna be ruined"
Archer
"Well, I'll worry about that bridge when I come to it!"
Archer
"with you people's tiny brains."
Archer
"who was christened Bartholomew Aloysius Dylan."
Archer
"No, that's a quote by Wilfrid Noyce."
Archer
"but I feel that there's a better other Barry in here."
Archer
"Why do you have our heads?"
Archer
"and you take it for granted!"
Archer
"All right, now step three."
Archer
"It helps my leg, Cyril,"
Archer
"would be reason enough to kill you!"
Archer
"After I kill all you idiots, I'm--"
Archer
"Holy shitsnacks!"
Archer
"in a grain elevator! Oww!"
Archer
"Will you shut up? I came out here to find someone."
Archer
"Hey, I'm coming to you as a man here."
Archer
"♪♪"
Archer
"So, this is Crab Rangoon, it is going in the refrigerator,"
Archer
"No, no, no! Don't!"
Archer
"for this thing. It's like the Univac."
Archer
"Yeah, so whaddya say we "get crackin'"?"
Archer
"You've been in tighter spots than this."
Archer
"waiting to find out who's behind this. So. Step one."
Archer
"And now, for these damn cuffs!"
Archer
"with enough juice to shut down his CPU."
Archer
"Okay, but-- But wait, if you fry Barry's CPU,"
Archer
"Tick tock, tick tock."
Archer
"Probably because it's so dark in here."
Archer
"What, no!"
Archer
"First thing, I'm taking a long hot bath"
Archer
"Good luck finding her without the coordinates!"
Archer
"That's me! Little baby Barty D.!"
Archer
"born at County Hospital close to your dates,"
Archer
"So! Who's it gonna be, big guy?"
Archer