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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Pilot (S01E01)

"Hey, you boys just gonna sit there"
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"or pick up a box and help?"
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"Hey, no more question, Barbara Walters."
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"Well, hi. Welcome to the neighborhood."
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"This is Lisa. This is Carol-Joan."
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"- Welcome. - Thank you."
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"- I'm Jessica. - Oh."
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"I was expecting something a little more exotic,"
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"Had a sorority sister with that name."
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"She died in a horrible riptide accident,"
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"but we dedicated a section of the highway to her."
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"Anyway, where you guys from?"
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"My parents were born in Taiwan,"
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"but my brothers and I were born in D.C."
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"Oh! Your English is very good!"
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"Are you all sister?"
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"but we go rollerblading every day,"
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"so if you ever want to join us, just give us a holler."
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"Come on."
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"The loudest one seem to be their queen."
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"So, who's hungry?"
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"The cactuses were planted in old spittoons."
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"I wanted it to be authentic, you know, like the real wild west."
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"but they were right at achilles level,"
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"so we had to switch to the black reeboks."
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"She did."
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"Dude, where the hell are we?"
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"Were there bears in the old west?"
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"Ni ta i ma nle."
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"Where are all the customer?"
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"Technically, we are still in our soft opening, so..."
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"Louis, there is hardly anyone here,"
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"and that table is only drinking water."
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"Hey, why you not drink beer?!"
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"The restaurant is doing well, okay?"
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"Why didn't you tell me?"
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"Because I didn't want to give you another reason"
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"not to move here."
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"I just have to figure out why the people aren't coming."
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"Maybe it's the food."
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"It's not the food."
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"The food is perfect."
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"Hector's a genius."
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"Can I sit next to you on the bus?"
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"Sure. If you want."
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"because you're at a different school,"
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"Definitely not Emery, though. He'll be next to me."
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"Oh, shut up, Evan."
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"Why can't we wait till Monday?"
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"Why wait? You need to go to school"
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"All you care about is money."
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"You're all about the eggs."
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"Eddie, eggs are life."
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"Okay, so..."
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"I want you all to be polite,"
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"respectful, and don't make waves."
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"Why you only looking at me?"
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"No, I'm talking to all of you."
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"Dude, you were looking right at me."
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"Okay, I was talking to you."
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"Why do all your shirts have black men on them?"
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"Me and him are both dudes with mad dreams,"
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"Dad, how come we have to start school on a Wednesday?"
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"That's a great question. Go to school."
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"I need to hire a white host."
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"Instead of people coming in and seeing a Chinese face"
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"and saying, "huh?"
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"I thought this was an old west steakhouse,""
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"I am comfortable.""
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"Exactly. Not welcoming."
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"That's why no to your face and yes to the white face!"
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"Nice, happy white face, like Bill Pullman."
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"Class, I'd like to introduce you to a new student."
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"I know it's a little unorthodox being a Wednesday and all,"
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"but I'd like you all to give a warm,"
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"Abraham Lincoln middle school welcome to..."
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""Hung-ge Yi Minge.""
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"Yeah, call me Eddie."
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"Oh, thank God."
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"What's your name again? Something Chinese?"
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"My name's Eddie."
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"Eddie?"
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"Yeah, man. He's sick."
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"I bought "Ready to die" the day it came out."
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"You bought it? I stole it."
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"- Yo, come sit with us. - Yeah?"
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"Okay, man. Cool."
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"A white dude and an Asian dude bonding over a black dude."
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"This cafeteria's ridiculous."
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"So, I'm Eddie."
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"Oh! What is that?! Gross!"
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"Get it out of here! Oh, my God!"
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"Ying Ding's eating worms."
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"Go! Go! Oh! Get that out of here!"
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"Go! Dude, that smells nasty!"
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"The white people didn't welcome you with open arms?"
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"What? Sit elsewhere, B.I.G."
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"Oh, I cannot believe Jake slept with Brittany."
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"He knew Palmer woodward was using her"
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"as part of a plot to destroy him"
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"and help Amanda take controlling interest of Melrose Place."
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"Right, Jessica?"
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"Oh, the school bus is here!"
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"I should go see how my boys' day was."
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"Okay, sugar."
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"I hope you like Eric Clapton."
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"Thank you."
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"Hey. So, how was your first..."
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"They said my lunch smelled!"
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"No, they said it stank, mom!"
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"I had to eat behind the gym"
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"where the janitor flies his kite."
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"Well, those kids, they just don't know, that's all."
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"It just... it just take time to get used to something different."
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"Eddie, that's not possible. We are here now."
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"We have to make the best of it."
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"You think I like pretending"
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"Samantha isn't carrying a baggie of dog poops in her hand?"
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"No! I don't like this! We all see the poops there!"
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"It's rolling around! But I am trying!"
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