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Clips from The Mindy Project - Danny Castellano Is My Gynecologist (S01E01)

"All right? Wear your tightest t-shirt, Mr. gorgeous,"
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"Morgan."
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"a nice, juicy t-bone steak to distract any guard dogs."
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"Wait, wait, Dr. Reed! Wait! No, don't leave without me!"
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"Whoa! What are you doing here?"
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"How does she know about the surprise?"
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"I invited her to help decorate Dr. Lahiri's place."
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"Ugh."
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"Any kind of party theme, I'm ready."
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""Under the sea," "New York, New York,""
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"baseball cap, cell phone case, car keys..."
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"This might be the lost and found box."
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"I like to ask all my new patients"
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"some lifestyle questions to learn more about their health."
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"And remember, you can stop this at any point"
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"if you begin to feel uncomfortable."
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"Hey, so can you."
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"[Chuckles]"
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"When did you first start menstruating?"
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"11 days ago, just when I wanted it to."
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"And what's your typical amount of flow?"
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"Um..."
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"Heavy on the first day,"
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"Are you sexually active?"
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"Are you? Are you?"
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"Are you? Are you?"
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"Are you? Are you?"
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"Are you? What do you think, Danny?"
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"Yeah, I'm sexually active, okay?"
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"I'd prefer if you call me Dr. Castellano."
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"I'd prefer that. Sorry, Dr. Castellano."
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"Terrific."
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"When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?"
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"No, um, um, just write,"
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""the last time that the moment was right...""
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""The last time that the moment was right.""
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""With someone I cared about, and feelings were mutual.""
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"Okay, I'm not writing all that, but..."
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"[Laughing] Yeah, condoms."
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"But ugh, am I right?"
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"Well, condom etiquette, it's hard for women, you know?"
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"'Cause you want to have condoms,"
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"but you can't keep them by the bed"
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"but you can't not have them,"
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"so you do, like, that whole dance."
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"Like, "oh, hey, I think I might have a couple somewhere,"
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""from, like, a bachelorette party, like, I had as a goof,""
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"and then you have to look a couple wrong places"
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"when you had them the whole time."
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"You never had that experience? Never."
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"How would you characterize"
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"We could stop. You want to stop?"
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"No, I'm having a great time."
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"No guard dog? That's a waste of a steak."
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"Whoa."
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"It's even more beautiful than I imagined."
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"It's pretty cool she can afford this place"
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"Okay, first things first."
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"yet sophisticated, Cosmopolitan woman."
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"No. Nobody touch anything."
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"We're not here to decorate."
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"But what about Mindy's half birthday?"
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"If you two take anything from this experience,"
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"take this: Question everything."
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"So not only did I get tricked"
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"into breaking into my best friend's apartment,"
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"you're telling me there's no party?"
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"I got priors!"
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"if I so much as kill someone."
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"Do you exercise or play sports?"
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"I do the elliptical, 45 minutes, four times a week."
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"There is a cluster of elliptical machines at my gym."
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"That's rude."
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"I'm very healthy."
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"Yeah, I have a glass of wine"
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"must've been the healthiest night of your life."
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"all right? Not wine."
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"So joke's on you, "castel-lame-o.""
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"You're upset. Maybe you'd be more comfortable"
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"are on this insanely long and nosy questionnaire."
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"I'm gonna check "no.""
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"I do want to have kids, four of 'em."
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"You want a bunch of girls who work at the mall?"
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"More like they own the mall."
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"But you aren't married or even in a committed relationship."
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"Yeah, but when I do get married,"
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"Okay. Math away, nerd."
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"dating this guy."
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"You're 33 then."
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"Congratulations. Thank you."
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"to take you out of the game."
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"You spent so long building your career... 38."
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"Now your husband starts resenting how busy you are."
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"Divorce is finalized, 40, but you're not worried"
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"Are you? Are you?"
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"Danny's right, it's too late for me to have kids."
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"I have no one."
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"Okay, I know you're sad, but the floor is disgusting."
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"in my will, I leave all of my money to Tina Fey?"
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"Oh, I have such a girl crush on Tina Fey."
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"I hate it when people say "girl crush.""
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"I want it to go to my kids and grandkids"
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"Look, you've spent years building a career."
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"There's still plenty of time to figure the rest out."
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"You're not 22. So what? No one is."
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"No one does. Take Carl and me..."
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"Do you remember how we met?"
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"Of course I remember."
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"You and I moved to the city"
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"and the first time we go out, you get hit on"
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"by some 37-year-old pephile."
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"Oh, hey, don't call him that!"
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"I'm sorry, sexual predator. [Sighs]"
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"Anyway, he buys you a drink,"
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"a year later, I'm maid of honor"
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"at the world's stuffiest wedding,"
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"and two years after that, you have some random baby."
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"Your goddaughter."
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"Whom I have grown to love."
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"Thank you."
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