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Clips from Farzar - The Great and Powerful Ozner (S01E01)

"Still a weird thing to do to own dad, yeah?"
Farzar
"Not as weird as this!"
Farzar
"Let's see who's the fart eater now, huh?"
Farzar
"Ah!"
Farzar
"Get in there and eat that fart!"
Farzar
"[toots]"
Farzar
"-What the hell are you doing to God? -Whoops."
Farzar
"[gasps]"
Farzar
"You dare provoke the mighty Ozner?"
Farzar
"After I blessed with you no licking, no sticking, and all that damn chicken,"
Farzar
"this is how your son treats me?"
Farzar
"Ozner, please, have mercy."
Farzar
"Silence!"
Farzar
"Ten years of plagues upon you all!"
Farzar
"Great job, Fichael!"
Farzar
"Well, he seemed fake. I wonder what the first plague is gonna be."
Farzar
"I don't know."
Farzar
"Okay, Snart, time to lead us to your hidden Snart village."
Farzar
"I must warn you that the journey to the village will be perilous."
Farzar
"We must traverse jungles…"
Farzar
"caves…"
Farzar
"[screaming]"
Farzar
"…frozen wastelands."
Farzar
"Hey, guys! It's Barry from work."
Farzar
"[Snart] And beyond!"
Farzar
"Okay, this one isn't so bad."
Farzar
"I don't know why we need a SodaStream."
Farzar
"Do we really spend that much on La Croix?"
Farzar
"It's about convenience."
Farzar
"We can make our own soda at home."
Farzar
"But you have to use their syrups."
Farzar
"I'll bet they don't even have blackberry cucumber. But you know who does?"
Farzar
"La Croix?"
Farzar
"Fucking La Croix."
Farzar
"Shit, it's the guys from the cave. I gotta go chase them."
Farzar
"Oh, come on. You're really gonna go do work stuff now?"
Farzar
"Well, fuck me for trying to put food on the table!"
Farzar
"Food on the table! Pah!"
Farzar
"You've never actually caught anyone, Arachnis!"
Farzar
"Oh, I should have married Andy Billman. I hear he's a lawyer now!"
Farzar
"I can't do this right now, Carol!"
Farzar
"Carol, is that you?"
Farzar
"Andy Billman?"
Farzar
"Been a long time."
Farzar
"You look good. SodaStream, huh?"
Farzar
"-Oh, Andy. -Carol!"
Farzar
"Oh, Andy!"
Farzar
"I found three more vaginas."
Farzar
"And I found four Peters, three twats, and a cloaca!"
Farzar
"That's a cooter and a pooter all in one!"
Farzar
"We gonna get extra for that."
Farzar
"This is some wacky C story!"
Farzar
"We should auction off his parts so we get more buck for our bang."
Farzar
"Good idea. We'd better clean him up first."
Farzar
"Jackpot! Found two more dicks!"
Farzar
"And I found another pussy."
Farzar
"Uh-huh, that's right. I'm in both shows now."
Farzar
"Let's say I got froze or some shit."
Farzar
"God ribbit, Fichael!"
Farzar
"You had to provoke Ozner and bring those plagues upon us."
Farzar
"I'm craving flies like a motherfucker."
Farzar
"You know every fly was just sitting on some shit. I'm basically eating shit!"
Farzar
"We all are. This is a Panera."
Farzar
"And look outside. It's raining lions!"
Farzar
"And chainsaws."
Farzar
"Plus all the floors are covered in mouths."
Farzar
"I'm gonna eat your feet!"
Farzar
"Hey, guys! It's Barry from work."
Farzar
"Look at him out there, plotting all the ways he's gonna kill me."
Farzar
"Oh shit, he saw us!"
Farzar
"We can't get any work done like this. Why don't you just fire Harold?"
Farzar
"If you fire a regular white guy, he kills everybody."
Farzar
"What the hell do you think Harold's gonna do?"
Farzar
"No, no, I have an actually good idea."
Farzar
"We abandon this whole take over the human city thing,"
Farzar
"leave the lair forever,"
Farzar
"then find something equally meaningful to do with the rest of our lives."
Farzar
"Here you go. Enjoy your Tuscan Turkey BazaWrap."
Farzar
"We got a tip, boys!"
Farzar
"♪ He'll be tipping round the tip jar When he tips ♪"
Farzar
"♪ He'll be tipping round the tip jar When he tips ♪"
Farzar
"♪ Yes, he tips! He'll be-- ♪"
Farzar
"Wait a minute."
Farzar
"A quarter? This is not a tip."
Farzar
"This is a "fuck you!""
Farzar
"I'm glad I came in your sandwich!"
Farzar
"Next."
Farzar
"Don't worry, I only come in every other sandwich."
Farzar
"It's an OCD thing."
Farzar
"[ominous music plays]"
Farzar
"I'll never get to the front of the line."
Farzar
"There's nothing people want more than this chicken sandwich."
Farzar
"Hey, everyone!"
Farzar
"They're auctioning off the chance"
Farzar
"to fuck a freakish mutant with the mind of a child."
Farzar
"-Come on! -Yes!"
Farzar
"Thanks for angering God, Fichael."
Farzar
"What are you mad about? You don't seem to be affected by any plagues."
Farzar
"Then explain why our hoo-ha now sings opera?"
Farzar
"[singing in Italian]"
Farzar
"That sounds great to me. My mom's sounds like a waterlogged accordion."
Farzar
"There's the heretic. Get him!"
Farzar
"Oh no. Don't kill me!"
Farzar
"[suspenseful music plays]"
Farzar
"Come with me, ribbit, if you want to, ribbit, live!"
Farzar
"Thanks, Dad. You think I'll be safe from the angry mob up here?"
Farzar
"From the mob? Yes."
Farzar
"Please, Ozner, remove these, ribbit, accursed plagues."
Farzar
"I brought you a sacrifice. The one who angered you."
Farzar
"[in Kermit's voice] Mr. Prince Fichael, yay!"
Farzar
"Ribbit!"
Farzar
"Here we are."
Farzar
"I will now reveal the hidden entrance to the secret Snart village."
Farzar
"Ooh, watch this! He's gonna do some magic shit."
Farzar
"I guess you're not coming in. More Snarts for me! Yay."
Farzar
"Oh, I'm coming in!"
Farzar
"[screaming] Oh God, this shit hurts! This shit hurts!"
Farzar
"[magical music plays]"
Farzar
"Oh my God, it's beautiful!"
Farzar
"We're about to get high as fuck!"
Farzar
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