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Clips from Farzar - The Great and Powerful Ozner (S01E01)

"[both] Hey!"
Farzar
"What the hell?"
Farzar
"Oh shit!"
Farzar
"[laughs] You both walked right into my trap."
Farzar
"King Snart, you've returned from your mission."
Farzar
"You bastard. How dare you betray us before we could betray you?"
Farzar
"Everyone, we just captured the two murderers"
Farzar
"who have killed thousands of our kind!"
Farzar
"For your atrocities against Snuffle Snarts,"
Farzar
"I sentence you both to…"
Farzar
"death!"
Farzar
"What are we going to do?"
Farzar
"I don't know. I keep trying to call my lawyer, but he's not picking up."
Farzar
"-Carol! Carol! -Oh, Andy!"
Farzar
"This is what you do when I'm at work?"
Farzar
"Oh my. Well, you caught me."
Farzar
"Congratulations on finally catching someone!"
Farzar
"That's low, Carol. That's fucking low."
Farzar
"The Schwater-rama has tahini sauce. That's tzatziki sauce!"
Farzar
"Why can't you tell the difference?"
Farzar
"I'm color-blind, you purple fuck!"
Farzar
"Welcome to BazaWra-- [screams]"
Farzar
"Harold, you found me!"
Farzar
"Why did I let you talk me into all those bus shelter ads?"
Farzar
"Wait, are you doing all this because of the whole eating my lunch thing?"
Farzar
"Well, yes, that,"
Farzar
"and because I stayed up all night doing cocaine and writing snappy tip songs."
Farzar
"Please don't kill me!"
Farzar
"Bazarack, I'm a serial killer."
Farzar
"I don't kill for revenge. I kill to quiet the screaming in my head."
Farzar
"I feel so silly. Everyone!"
Farzar
"We're going home!"
Farzar
"Chet, you're fired."
Farzar
"What? Fired? I'll kill all you motherfuckers!"
Farzar
"What did I tell you about white guys?"
Farzar
"Harold!"
Farzar
"[wailing] No!"
Farzar
"I loved you."
Farzar
"Welcome, everybody!"
Farzar
"Today, and today only,"
Farzar
"we are auctioning off animal parts for you to fuck"
Farzar
"so you don't piss off God."
Farzar
"First item up for bid, and we're starting big,"
Farzar
"is a genuine whale pussy!"
Farzar
"We'll start the bidding at $10."
Farzar
"I'm at $10, not 20. Need 30 for the whale pussy. Somebody give me 30?"
Farzar
"I got 40 for the whale pussy. Fat, juicy whale pussy!"
Farzar
"Stop the auction. This is madness!"
Farzar
"And a stupid C story."
Farzar
"Billy only here because you not care about Billy."
Farzar
"Barry can kiss Billy's ass!"
Farzar
"Not unless he bids!"
Farzar
"I'm sorry I blew you off, son."
Farzar
"Next time I have to choose"
Farzar
"between parenting and standing in line for chicken,"
Farzar
"I will choose you."
Farzar
"No one's having sex with any of my son's pussies today!"
Farzar
"But that's the only reason we're here!"
Farzar
"Well, why would you have sex with that when you can have sex with this?"
Farzar
"-[dance music plays] -[crowd cheers]"
Farzar
"I made a few genetic modifications. I already sold the recipe."
Farzar
"[announcer] Introducing the Cluckinator Fuckinator!"
Farzar
"The only spicy chicken sandwich you can fuck!"
Farzar
"Coming soon to Carl's Jr."
Farzar
"[ominous music plays]"
Farzar
"Fichael, son of Renzo,"
Farzar
"prepare to feel my wrath!"
Farzar
"Wait!"
Farzar
"Instead of killing me, why don't you use your powers for good?"
Farzar
"Oh."
Farzar
"Well, I never thought about that. You know what?"
Farzar
"On the count of three, there will be no more cancer."
Farzar
"One, two, thr--"
Farzar
"Ribbit, ribbit, motherfucker! Looks like there's a frog in your throat!"
Farzar
"[mystical music plays]"
Farzar
"[birds chirping]"
Farzar
"Oh."
Farzar
"That was your plan the whole time!"
Farzar
"To use me as bait so you could kill God."
Farzar
"Oh, hey, Fichael. I didn't realize you were still alive."
Farzar
"[uneasy music plays]"
Farzar
"Uh, hi, I'm Public Defender Snart."
Farzar
"I found some case law that should help us get a stay of exec--"
Farzar
"-Worth it. -Let the execution begin!"
Farzar
"Oh, all of our execution gear is destroyed."
Farzar
"And we still have so many criminal Snarts on death row."
Farzar
"You do? Well, maybe we can make a deal."
Farzar
"Let us go, and I'll only snort the criminals you would execute anyway."
Farzar
"That may actually work."
Farzar
"We do have a lot of pedophiles!"
Farzar
"You can sleep in my sleeping bag because you don't have one."
Farzar
"I have one right here."
Farzar
"[both sniffing]"
Farzar
"Everyone, Ozner is dead."
Farzar
"We don't have to worry about following his silly rules anymore."
Farzar
"Ooh, for the first time, I feel freed from the shackles of religion!"
Farzar
"I want to celebrate with hours of the craziest sex imaginable!"
Farzar
"I know a guy."
Farzar
"Tell me I'm good at my job!"
Farzar
"-What does that mean? -Just do it! I'm close!"
Farzar
"And the award for best human-on-spider sex scene goes to…"
Farzar
"Marvelous Mrs. Maisel!"
Farzar
"This is the best sex I've ever-- [screams]"
Farzar
"What? I gotta watch this show."
Farzar
"[adventurous music playing]"
Farzar