Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 30 Rock - Tracy Does Conan (S01E01)

"- I will stab you. - All right, no, OK! All right, all right!"
30 Rock
"Hey, Clarice, can I see Josh's Stone Phillips wig?"
30 Rock
"Great. Do you mind if I pop it on you? I want to see the shape of it."
30 Rock
"- Handsome? - Yes!"
30 Rock
"- You find me handsome? - Yes, very much."
30 Rock
"You know, I used to be very rich."
30 Rock
"- Hello. - Oh, hi. Sorry."
30 Rock
"- Can I see you in my office? - Yeah, hang on a second, actually."
30 Rock
"between a movie star and a woman who does commercials for ShopRite..."
30 Rock
"I don't do these things just to drive you crazy, Lemon."
30 Rock
"I do them for the good of the show."
30 Rock
"That's why my job is way better than yours."
30 Rock
"Way better."
30 Rock
"I don't know, Jack. He's kind of a loose cannon,"
30 Rock
"and I like to surround myself with people that don't try to stab me."
30 Rock
"That's what they said about Hasselhoff."
30 Rock
"Then he tried to make out with me during a commercial break."
30 Rock
"every year till the war on terror is won."
30 Rock
"Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight... you Black Irish bastard."
30 Rock
"Just tell us some things about your life, and we'll try and make it talk-show-worthy."
30 Rock
"She go in the bathroom and do her hair. Then I put on a ski mask."
30 Rock
"People eat that garbage up."
30 Rock
"I walk around my house naked to remind my oldest son who's got the biggest dingdong."
30 Rock
"What was that?"
30 Rock
"I was pooping in the ladies' room at the Ivy..."
30 Rock
"No."
30 Rock
"My hair hurts. Anybody gonna answer the phone?"
30 Rock
"- What phone? - ls anybody gonna answer the phone?"
30 Rock
"- So, you wanted to see me? - Oh, Lemon, wonderful."
30 Rock
"What's a funny little quip I could open with?"
30 Rock
"That's why you called me up here? OK."
30 Rock
""Good evening, it's great to be here at the beautiful Waldorf-Astoria."
30 Rock
"Lemon, this is not open-mic night at the Bryn Mawr student union."
30 Rock
"This is a $1,000-a-plate fund-raiser."
30 Rock
"Let me tell you what I was thinking of saying."
30 Rock
"No, it doesn't, does it? I wrote it down in the middle of the night."
30 Rock
"Tracy needs help."
30 Rock
"- Cookie in the middle of the day? - I gave blood."
30 Rock
"What else? What else is on my mind grapes?"
30 Rock
"I could talk about how the moon is a spy satellite"
30 Rock
"put there by Oprah and Minister Farrakhan,"
30 Rock
"and not the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking of."
30 Rock
"Who's that dude?"
30 Rock
"I don't like that dude."
30 Rock
"- That was weird. - You missed it."
30 Rock
"- He's always bananas. - No, this was different."
30 Rock
"Yeah, like "Conan should be afraid" different."
30 Rock
"Oh, really? Where'd he go?"
30 Rock
"Yes, I am having problems with my cable television."
30 Rock
"Yes, I will hold."
30 Rock
"Excuse me, I have another call."
30 Rock
"Hi, Mom. I am doing fine."
30 Rock
"That's not good."
30 Rock
"- Could you sign that for me, please? - Pete, where's your charisma?"
30 Rock
"- What? - The wig. I prefer that you wear it."
30 Rock
"- Well, I thought you were joking. - Well, let me clarify. I'm not joking."
30 Rock
"Pete, did you know that men with full heads of hair,"
30 Rock
"on average, earn 17% more than their bald counterparts?"
30 Rock
"I did not know that."
30 Rock
"But here's what I want you to do."
30 Rock
"I think this is my full potential."
30 Rock
"I know you're sceptical, Pete. I know."
30 Rock
"Right now, go ahead, pull my hair."
30 Rock
"Well, I guess he thinks that Tracy is a movie star,"
30 Rock
"and he doesn't love it that you did those commercials."
30 Rock
"so unless he would like to buy me a condo in Clearwater, Florida..."
30 Rock
"Tracy's doing "Conan" tonight."
30 Rock
"Miss Lemon, we got a problem."
30 Rock
"- Well, "Conan" tapes in... - Less than two hours."
30 Rock
"I'm bugging out."
30 Rock
"I'm bugging out!"
30 Rock
"Tracy, who is your doctor?"
30 Rock
"Dr. Spaceman! Dr. Spaceman!"
30 Rock
"Oh, brother. Look around. We got to find his medication."
30 Rock
"This is Dr. Leo Spaceman."
30 Rock
"that there's no telling how they'll mix."
30 Rock
"But what can you do?"
30 Rock
"Medicine's not a science."
30 Rock
"Well, what exactly are you treating him for?"
30 Rock
"I should not have taken those blue things."
30 Rock
"so long as you keep him away from bright lights, loud music, and crowds."
30 Rock
"Do you need anything for yourself?"
30 Rock
"What? No, just where can I pick up Tracy's prescription?"
30 Rock
"How's this for an opening line? "When I first met Jack Welch,"
30 Rock
"I thought he was such a great golfer, he made Bob Darnell look like Randy Barnes.""
30 Rock
"- That's fine. Do that. - I don't know."
30 Rock
"- What did you come up with? - I have a bigger problem."
30 Rock
"I don't think Tracy's ready to do "Conan.""
30 Rock
"I think you should let Jenna do it, and Tracy could do it in a couple weeks."
30 Rock
"- She got a movie coming out next month. - What movie?"
30 Rock
""The Rur Jur.""
30 Rock
"- The what? - Tracy's acting nuts."
30 Rock
"He's having problems with his medication."
30 Rock
"- Did you call Dr. Spaceman? - Yeah, I did."
30 Rock
"Is that rehearsal?"
30 Rock
"- No, this Tracy situation is really... - Are we still talking about that?"
30 Rock
"Do I have to run your show, or could you take this one thing off my plate?"
30 Rock
"No, I got it."
30 Rock
"What can I do for you, handsome?"
30 Rock
"Liz, I wanted you to be the first to know."
30 Rock
"OK, Jenna, don't quit. The show can't go on without you."
30 Rock
"Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll stay."
30 Rock
"Do you have any food? I'm getting really low blood sugar."
30 Rock
"Are you dieting finally?"
30 Rock
"What are you doing, South Beach, Master Cleanse?"
30 Rock
"- Liz, hey, it's me, Dennis. - Dennis, what do you want?"
30 Rock
"You got to do me a huge favour. You got to call Ticketmaster right away."
30 Rock
"Nickelback just added another date, right?"
30 Rock
"No, I can't do that for you. Just be home tonight when I get there, OK?"
30 Rock
"Word."
30 Rock
"No! No!"
30 Rock
"All right, all right, all right."
30 Rock
"Let's not do this, Elizabeth."
30 Rock
"Vocal warm-ups. I'll tell him you came by."
30 Rock
"- How's it going? - No! Past Pete is here to kill Future Pete!"
30 Rock
"It's all right, Tra! Come back!"
30 Rock
"Yes, ma'am, do you have a prescription for Mr Tracy Jordan?"
30 Rock
"- OK, come on out of there, buddy. - Oh, I almost forgot."
30 Rock
"Jack would like to see you up in his office."
30 Rock
"Yeah, Jonathan, tell him I've got my hands full with Tracy."
30 Rock
Show more clips