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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S03E03)

"Yeah, that's me, Mr. Selfish."
Archer (2009)
"Sorry, I gotta get back to Earth before the Stargate closes."
Archer (2009)
"None of you were qualified when you first started."
Archer (2009)
"End of discussion. And since this meeting is for field agents only..."
Archer (2009)
"Sorry. And if you were in my tax bracket..."
Archer (2009)
"Or wearing such shitty clothes. Or doing such shitty missions."
Archer (2009)
"Exactly, and how many drug users could be treated with that money?"
Archer (2009)
"They'd just go buy a million dollars' worth of crack with it."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: And knock off that damn beatboxing!"
Archer (2009)
"Um, tropics or Busch Gardens?"
Archer (2009)
"...there's about 10 klicks of jungle that I just assume is one giant booby-trap showroom."
Archer (2009)
"You say that all the time. I never know what you're talking about."
Archer (2009)
"Cleaning out my freezer last week, I found a big bag of skank."
Archer (2009)
"I call it Krieger-Kleanse. It's an herbal tea, all-natural..."
Archer (2009)
"Well, here. Give me, give me, give it! Ah, ah, ah."
Archer (2009)
"I literally-- Figuratively scoured the globe for these special herbs..."
Archer (2009)
"Because shut up. Oh, jungle zing."
Archer (2009)
"So it says here that Calzado isn't even the head of the whole operation."
Archer (2009)
"...for somebody named "La Sombra." La sombre. The Shade?"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril. No, I bet in this context, the "Shadow.""
Archer (2009)
"...that fly 1000 meters, or one klick, a second..."
Archer (2009)
"I guess I wanna feel like I matter more."
Archer (2009)
"Okay, Cyril, then lesson 1A:"
Archer (2009)
"Okay. You look, you listen, you smell..."
Archer (2009)
"My six what? Is that my gun? The old six-shooter?"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril? Yeah, that's why I said hold up."
Archer (2009)
"Well, where the hell did he go? I don't know, it's like he just..."
Archer (2009)
"Yes. Oh. Couple things. A, he's invisible."
Archer (2009)
"Mm, no, it's not whimpery enough."
Archer (2009)
"Which is?"
Archer (2009)
"Thanks, Marlin Perkins. I think I know a tiger when I hear one!"
Archer (2009)
"Every time. Your big, fat mouth gets us caught every time."
Archer (2009)
"And 1000 bucks that's a tiger, Lana."
Archer (2009)
"--There's no sense in us both getting raped."
Archer (2009)
"We're scared. We're just tourists. Our car broke down, so--"
Archer (2009)
"So the assault weapons and plastic explosives, why do you have these?"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, yes, let me explain. Busted. We're arms dealers."
Archer (2009)
"Then we give Mother a million and you and I split the other million."
Archer (2009)
"But-- Obviously, I cannot allow you to live."
Archer (2009)
"Besides, throwing money away like that would displease El Contador."
Archer (2009)
"What? No. You guys aren't gonna believe what happened."
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Then they brought me here. I bluffed my way through the rest."
Archer (2009)
"You just leave that to me, amigo."
Archer (2009)
"Why, what's--? What is going on here?"
Archer (2009)
"...which is why tomorrow, at dawn, I will be hunting the most dangerous game in the world."
Archer (2009)
"If you want, I can watch while you masturbate."
Archer (2009)
"You get a 30-minute head start."
Archer (2009)
"Uh... Oh! Can they split up?"
Archer (2009)
"As hypothesized, after mind-shredding hallucinations..."
Archer (2009)
"Lana? Lana?"
Archer (2009)
"Theoretically. Sorry."
Archer (2009)
"...but he can't possibly outrun Calzado. Yeah, neither can we, so..."
Archer (2009)
"What? Come on."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Ow! Oh, eat a dick, jungle!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, then you're obviously an idiot when it comes to crocodiles..."
Archer (2009)
"And you're under arrest, albeit extra-judicially."
Archer (2009)
""Chop-chop"? Here we go."
Archer (2009)
"I think I'm gonna be--"
Archer (2009)
"My eyes! Ow!"
Archer (2009)
"I learned I don't like being bait."
Archer (2009)
"And in return, did they hand you a signed receipt for the prisoner?"
Archer (2009)
"PAM: You'll never take me alive!"
Archer (2009)
"--Excellence."
Archer (2009)
"ARCHER: Come on, Cyril, beat it. Get out of here."
Archer (2009)
"This meeting is for field agents only."
Archer (2009)
"Which brings me to item one."
Archer (2009)
"We don't have enough field agents to effectively run our covert operations..."
Archer (2009)
"...especially since this one went and got himself paralyzed."
Archer (2009)
"MALORY: More like "Ms.""
Archer (2009)
"Anyway, effective immediately, I'm promoting Cyril to field agent."
Archer (2009)
"ALL: What? That sounds great. Best of luck."
Archer (2009)
"Where are you going?"
Archer (2009)
"Get back in here."
Archer (2009)
"Mother, the chevrons are locking."
Archer (2009)
"And Cyril is utterly, laughably unqualified to be a field agent."
Archer (2009)
"Some offense. Uh, some taken."
Archer (2009)
"And you've already given Cyril some training."
Archer (2009)
"Which ended with a dead hooker in my trunk."
Archer (2009)
"No, it didn't. it easily could have."
Archer (2009)
"Malory, you can't just--"
Archer (2009)
"You're taking me out of the field?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, unless we need someone to go undercover as a shopping cart."
Archer (2009)
"This is Romén Calzado, the notorious Colombian drug lord."
Archer (2009)
"And hopefully an infusion of much-needed capital."
Archer (2009)
"Since when are we bounty hunters?"
Archer (2009)
"Since the DEA's budget was gutted by all those federal spending cutbacks."
Archer (2009)
"The most efficient way to decrease the budget deficit..."
Archer (2009)
"...is to increase tax revenue, through, um..."
Archer (2009)
"Cyril, don't make me regret this decision."
Archer (2009)
"...you wouldn't be spouting that socialist propaganda."
Archer (2009)
"What are you talking about? The reward is a million dollars!"
Archer (2009)
"Who cares? Seriously?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God. No, they won't..."
Archer (2009)
"...because it'll be in the ISIS bank account."
Archer (2009)
"Because you're going to get Calzado, dead or alive."
Archer (2009)
"Cyril, dress appropriately. You'll be helicoptering into the jungle."
Archer (2009)
"Cool. Oh, and this whole thing reminds me."
Archer (2009)
"Pam, 9 a.m. Friday morning, all ISIS employees will take a drug test."
Archer (2009)
"PAM : Okay."
Archer (2009)
"Transform."
Archer (2009)
"Ugh."
Archer (2009)
"Last week it was freestyling."
Archer (2009)
"Where we are right now, in 24 hours. And you better be here!"
Archer (2009)
"What a dick."
Archer (2009)
"Well, he's probably just under a lot of stress..."
Archer (2009)
"...since he's our only way out of this stupid jungle, dumb-ass."
Archer (2009)
"CYRIL: Seriously. Thanks, ghost of Teddy Roosevelt."
Archer (2009)
"Ms. Archer said dress for the tropics."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, Heckle, Jeckle, between us and Calzado's fortified compound..."
Archer (2009)
"So shut your dickholes, get your gear, shut up again, and start walking."
Archer (2009)
"Any questions?"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril."
Archer (2009)
"What's a "klick"? Ugh."
Archer (2009)
"I'm assuming it's a sound of some sort. CHERYL: Nuh-uh!"
Archer (2009)
"Swear to God, first thing Friday morning, we all gotta pee in a cup."
Archer (2009)
"Which I can't even do, y'all."
Archer (2009)
"I guess I brought it back from Jamaica, but--"
Archer (2009)
"No, stupid. All drugs."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, shit."
Archer (2009)
"I call them groovy bears."
Archer (2009)
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