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Clips from Daria (1997) - College Bored (S01E01)

"Great! We'll go to Middleton!"
Daria (1997)
"We get to pick the college, and no one said you could come."
Daria (1997)
"We're walking?"
Daria (1997)
"Gosh, the old place has hardly changed a bit."
Daria (1997)
"Get a life."
Daria (1997)
"Cool. Whatever. Maybe next time. College punks."
Daria (1997)
"Hey, Heather. What's up?"
Daria (1997)
"These buildings date from when Middleton was a colonial religious college."
Daria (1997)
"Back then, the all-male student body attended chapel twice a day,"
Daria (1997)
"and endured whippings as punishment for impure thoughts."
Daria (1997)
"But, Middleton's time-honored tradition of tomfoolery continues."
Daria (1997)
"What? Hey, I think you're right."
Daria (1997)
"Come on, let's go take a look at the old cell."
Daria (1997)
"We got time before we go see the Bursar."
Daria (1997)
"I'm sure we'd only get in the way."
Daria (1997)
"Which historic street are all the fraternities on?"
Daria (1997)
"Aren't you a Theta pledge?"
Daria (1997)
"or the Council of Ancients will give you a noodle whipping you won't soon forget."
Daria (1997)
"You know, community service."
Daria (1997)
"You're excused. But make it quick."
Daria (1997)
"Do you have your scrub brush?"
Daria (1997)
"Listen, Daria. I don't stop you from reading."
Daria (1997)
"Don't stop me from this."
Daria (1997)
"This place gives me the creeps."
Daria (1997)
"Hey, guys, what's going down?"
Daria (1997)
"You know, I think this might have been my crib when I went here."
Daria (1997)
"It's "crib" now, right?"
Daria (1997)
"We're just going to have a quick look-see, okay? Okay."
Daria (1997)
"You and all the other guys would lean out the window and shout obscene comments."
Daria (1997)
"College men. Animals! Quinn!"
Daria (1997)
"Hey, can any of you dudes tell me how to get to the Bursar's office?"
Daria (1997)
"Okay, no problem, I'll find it myself."
Daria (1997)
"Pretty much. There's also the part about working a stupid job"
Daria (1997)
"Heather?"
Daria (1997)
"Nobody respects deadlines anymore."
Daria (1997)
"It was a collaboration."
Daria (1997)
"My part was to say how long it should be and when it was due."
Daria (1997)
"But the first paragraph doesn't even make sense."
Daria (1997)
"How much did you pay for this?"
Daria (1997)
"Wow. You know anything about the English Civil War?"
Daria (1997)
"I don't take checks from college students."
Daria (1997)
"Too young, really. How old do you think I am?"
Daria (1997)
"Forty-s... forty-three. That is, in five years I'll be 43."
Daria (1997)
"But you're a college man. You probably know all about that."
Daria (1997)
"I get headaches sometimes 'cause I'm allergic to things."
Daria (1997)
"College punk."
Daria (1997)
"I just can't figure out what all this is paying for."
Daria (1997)
"I understand your feelings, Mr. Morgendorffer."
Daria (1997)
"Many of our parents experience similar sticker shock, if I may."
Daria (1997)
"It's not a bank, but a family business that understands families."
Daria (1997)
"They can set you up with a cash loan on very agreeable terms."
Daria (1997)
"What's this address?"
Daria (1997)
"And make loans. Oh, and haul trash."
Daria (1997)
"They got a variety of interests, actually."
Daria (1997)
"You play the ponies, Jake?"
Daria (1997)
"Okay, look, I'm not going to rewrite this paper for you,"
Daria (1997)
"but I will give you a couple of tips that will help you rewrite it."
Daria (1997)
"What about something he said when we broke up?"
Daria (1997)
"No."
Daria (1997)
"Okay, thanks."
Daria (1997)
"Excuse me, ma'am. Could I trouble you for your underwear?"
Daria (1997)
"Say what?"
Daria (1997)
"Your panties. May I have them?"
Daria (1997)
"hold on here... are you in a fraternity?"
Daria (1997)
"Yes, ma'am. Sigma Stigmata, a. k.a., "Sigma Yo' Mama!""
Daria (1997)
"This is a prank, isn't it?"
Daria (1997)
"Sort of, ma'am. See, it's a Stigmata tradition"
Daria (1997)
"You guys!"
Daria (1997)
"we found that student panties aren't big enough to be seen from the quad."
Daria (1997)
"I think your underwear just might do the trick!"
Daria (1997)
"Do the trick?! I'll do the trick to you, you little twerp!"
Daria (1997)
"Helen! Helen! Terrible news."
Daria (1997)
"Tuition... crippling expense... maybe we can just... send..."
Daria (1997)
"one of them... to college... Quinn... go... to beauty... school."
Daria (1997)
"Jake... get a grip."
Daria (1997)
"Right. Then... let's go... campus police."
Daria (1997)
"You're right. Those poor kids are probably scared to death."
Daria (1997)
"Okay, look. I can't play the game for you,"
Daria (1997)
"you say, "schwartz!""
Daria (1997)
"Besides, shouldn't you be saving your quarters for taking us out?"
Daria (1997)
"Two..."
Daria (1997)
"Keg... Queen. Keg... Queen. Keg... Queen."
Daria (1997)
"Ah, they've chosen the Keg Queen. It's a huge honor."
Daria (1997)
"Wait a minute. That's no queen... that's my sister."
Daria (1997)
"And she doesn't even have a learner's permit."
Daria (1997)
"Quinn! What did they do to you?!"
Daria (1997)
"Are these your daughters, Mr. Morgendorffer?"
Daria (1997)
"Don't worry, Daddy, I have I.D."
Daria (1997)
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to escort you all off the campus"
Daria (1997)
"immediately."
Daria (1997)
"But"
Daria (1997)
"Can we keep her?"
Daria (1997)
"Okay, okay... so, like, let's all talk about our college experiences."
Daria (1997)
"My big brothers stripped me naked and covered me with molasses,"
Daria (1997)
"I had a good time, too. I walked into the student center"
Daria (1997)
"and these kids were reading poetry"
Daria (1997)
"Shut up, naked boy."
Daria (1997)
"How about you?"
Daria (1997)
"Turns out if you make the starting squad,"
Daria (1997)
"May I please have my money back now?"
Daria (1997)
"How did you like the famous Middleton College?"
Daria (1997)
"Daria got us thrown out."
Daria (1997)
"I got us thrown out? I beg to differ, Keg Queen."
Daria (1997)
"Keg Queen?! Can I have your autograph?"
Daria (1997)
"Dream on, naked boy."
Daria (1997)
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! You got thrown out of Middleton?"
Daria (1997)
"In my day, we had a little something called respect."
Daria (1997)
"Thrown out of college without enrolling first."
Daria (1997)
"I'm damn proud of you."
Daria (1997)
"Thanks."
Daria (1997)
"How's business?"
Daria (1997)
"Booming. I have two econ problem sets and a paper on Kerouac"
Daria (1997)
"that I have to get to the delivery guy by 9:00 P.M..."
Daria (1997)
"and then, I quit."
Daria (1997)
"But you're just getting started."
Daria (1997)
"I already feel burned out on college and I'm still in high school."
Daria (1997)
"Hey, Daria, come on in!"
Daria (1997)
"Uh... what happened?"
Daria (1997)
"Quinn was accepted to Manatee College in Florida!"
Daria (1997)
"And here at the bottom it also says,"
Daria (1997)
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