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Clips from Family Guy - Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington (S03E03)

"Wow. The business world sure is funny."
Family Guy
"- I don't know. What do you call it? - A promotion."
Family Guy
"Oh, thanks. Here's a memo."
Family Guy
"I'd like to welcome you to our family."
Family Guy
"I think you'll be very happy with the changes we've made."
Family Guy
"So Aunt Bee has a place to let her pies cool."
Family Guy
"Hello, boys. Today's pie is cherry. It'll be ready just in time for lunch."
Family Guy
"Wow. These guys sure know how to run a company."
Family Guy
"Look how happy those morons are."
Family Guy
"to our company's cigarettes."
Family Guy
"Good boy, Connor."
Family Guy
"Pull."
Family Guy
"Can't we eat? I'm so hungry, I could ride a horse."
Family Guy
"I don't get it. I could ride it to the store, I guess."
Family Guy
"I told you we're not starting without your father. Dinner just isn't dinner without him."
Family Guy
"Perhaps I could help simulate the experience. Yum, yum, yum..."
Family Guy
"Agh, agh, agh!"
Family Guy
"Ah."
Family Guy
"How can you afford lobster on your salary?"
Family Guy
"- I got a raise. - What?!"
Family Guy
"Even Kenneth, the badass mail clerk with the heart of gold."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Kenneth. Did I get any mail? - No! If you come any closer, I'll slice ya!"
Family Guy
"OK, OK. Man, what a badass."
Family Guy
"Yeah? That "badass" just gave half his pay cheque to orphans."
Family Guy
"Orphans with diseases."
Family Guy
"And check out the new toys we're making."
Family Guy
"Baby Smokes-A-Lot?"
Family Guy
"Tastes like happy."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! They're trying to corrupt our children!"
Family Guy
"Those bastards turned a whole generation of Americans into smokers"
Family Guy
"Peaches are coming in mighty early this year."
Family Guy
"Smoke."
Family Guy
"You know what they say: "Early peaches, long summer"."
Family Guy
"What's that, Lassie?"
Family Guy
"Are ya smoking yet?"
Family Guy
"If kids see this doll, they're gonna think smoking's OK."
Family Guy
"Don't worry, Lois. I'll set 'em straight. Just like I did with Chris."
Family Guy
"- Dad, what's the blowhole for? - I'll tell you what it's not for, son."
Family Guy
"We need to talk. My wife says you're trying to get kids to smoke."
Family Guy
"Barbie has a Dream Car, but you don't see eight-year-old kids driving. They're fun toys."
Family Guy
"- Smoke. - Not now, Jerry."
Family Guy
"What about that graph on the wall that says"
Family Guy
""The first thing we want is to get kids to start smoking. ""
Family Guy
"That's just something my son made me in art class."
Family Guy
"We're a caring company."
Family Guy
"I mean, would you really be the president of a company that didn't care about kids?"
Family Guy
"- No. But I'm not the president. - Yes, you are... if you want to be."
Family Guy
"Ah."
Family Guy
"Oh, wow. Imagine me, president."
Family Guy
"I'll do it!"
Family Guy
"- Aren't you gonna ask me how it went? - Did you talk to the executives?"
Family Guy
"Peter, answer me!"
Family Guy
"- I did. They made me president. - Of the whole company?"
Family Guy
"You shoulda seen the way they treated me. I've never gotten that respect before."
Family Guy
"That's Mr Griffin."
Family Guy
"Peter, why would they make you president?"
Family Guy
"Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second."
Family Guy
"- That was just a loud yelping noise. - Jeez, Lois. I thought you'd be proud of me."
Family Guy
"Wait till you see all the perks we get."
Family Guy
"Um... hi. Can I help you?"
Family Guy
"Some company hired me to stand next to you all day, so you'd look better."
Family Guy
"- That's ridiculous. - Meg? Did you get less ugly?"
Family Guy
"Yeah!"
Family Guy
"- Surprise! - Everything looks the same."
Family Guy
"It looks the same."
Family Guy
"so it's easy to clean."
Family Guy
"Maybe I shouldn't have had 'em do the floors."
Family Guy
"This is so exciting. Your father's first day as president."
Family Guy
"Good morning, First Family."
Family Guy
"- Lois, what's in this coffee? - Isn't it wonderful?"
Family Guy
"They sent Martha Stewart to help me with the housework."
Family Guy
"I take back all the bad things I said about them. The coffee is delicious, Martha."
Family Guy
"I think it's a crappy thing! In fact, this is my last cigarette ever."
Family Guy
"Oh, I beg to differ."
Family Guy
"Oh, you don't need to park here, Mr Griffin. You have an executive parking space now."
Family Guy
"That looks exactly like my old space."
Family Guy
"This one comes with your own company suck-up."
Family Guy
"- Morning. Nice day. - It's a little cloudy."
Family Guy
"- Good news about the Yankees. - I hate them."
Family Guy
"Pack of cheaters, they are. I love your tie."
Family Guy
"- I hate this tie. - It's awful, it's gaudy, it's gotta go."
Family Guy
"- I'm the president - The best there is."
Family Guy
"Here's your new digs. Now get to work, sport. We're counting on you."
Family Guy
"There's an anti-smoking bill that could put us out of business."
Family Guy
"Yes. Apparently, causing cancer is this year's "hot button"."
Family Guy
"Harvard lawyers, lobbyists, wisecracking leprechauns."
Family Guy
"That's the problem. They're idiots in Washington."
Family Guy
"Instead of a smart guy, we should send a moron they can relate to."
Family Guy
"- Yeah. And not just stupid. Fat, too. - That's exactly what we need."
Family Guy
"Wait. Didn't we just make a fat, stupid guy president?"
Family Guy
"You bet we did. Gentlemen, our new tobacco lobbyist is... that guy!"
Family Guy
"So what's this big assignment you got for me, chairman of the broad?"
Family Guy
""Chairman of the broad". When did you become such a stitch?"
Family Guy
"Don't you remember? You gave me writers."
Family Guy
"- He's only half-Jewish. - You're fired."
Family Guy
"But I gotta warn you, I've made some enemies on the Hill."
Family Guy
"And that's when Clarence Thomas forced me into his chambers"
Family Guy
"and showed me lewd pictures."
Family Guy
"We have indisputable evidence that not only have you never been"
Family Guy
"in the same room as Clarence Thomas, you've never been in the same state."
Family Guy
"Bababooie! Bababooie! Howard Stern's penis! Bababooie!"
Family Guy
"How long is Dad gonna be in Washington?"
Family Guy
"As long as it takes. He's a very important man now."
Family Guy
"He's the spokesman for his entire industry."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Martha. Brian, could you pass me the TV guide?"
Family Guy
"I'm sorry. It just feels like for ever since I've had a smoke."
Family Guy
"Mr Harrison? I see those government guys you were telling me about."
Family Guy
"I'll show 'em a good time and get 'em to come around to our side."
Family Guy
"Excuse me. Al Gore? George W Bush?"
Family Guy
"- Yes? - Yes?"
Family Guy
"Great. And what's your friend's name?"
Family Guy
"- Oh, God. No, seriously. What's his name? - Dick Armey."
Family Guy
"Oh. Oh, I just got it."
Family Guy
"I'm kidding. Get in the car. We're going to a skin bar."
Family Guy
"- OK. - Great."
Family Guy
"That sounds good."
Family Guy
"It'll be like she never existed. Grab ahold of yourself."
Family Guy
"You may have killed her when you shoved all those dollar bills down her throat."
Family Guy
"You may have killed her when you hit her with the stool. I'm not a doctor."
Family Guy
"But I'll tell you what didn't kill her... Smoking."
Family Guy
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