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Clips from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005) - Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad (S02E02)

"God!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Can you just sit, please? - Please sit in the chair. Please sit in the chair."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Frank. - Barbara."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Your turkey neck is looking exceptionally attractive this evening."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You have turned into a retarded person. - You're a retard."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let's get to it. There's this guy Bruce who contacted Dee on MySpace..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Is there a chance that that could be possible?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- No. - Yes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- What? - Well, Bruce who? Bruce Mathis?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yeah. - Then, yes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- There's a chance this guy could be our father? - No. Yes, he is your father."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"What the hell are you talking about?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Do we really have to get into all of this?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- My God! Yes. - Yes, we really have to get into all this!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Everybody settle down. It's not the end of the world."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"A long time ago, I met Bruce and we had this little affair, or whatever you want to call it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"was if I didn't tell Bruce and let your father think that the twins were his."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"End of story?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"How could you do that?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you rather I had them aborted?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I just can't believe this!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Don't make a scene. - Sit back down."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I was just told, excuse me..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"that my horrible, whore wife..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"for 30 years, and I'm being asked to not make a scene!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Whoa! Oh, excuse me? Oh, did you bang my wife? Huh?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Did you bang my whore wife?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Does anybody here have any illegitimate children with my whore wife..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- that I should know about? - Jesus, Frank!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Jesus! Jesus, Frank!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let's get out of here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Kind of a funny story."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Turns out my friends got some weird news the other day about their biological father..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"and it got me to thinking, uh, about maybe, you know, reconnecting with mine."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Uh-huh."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And, you know, Charlie never had a father."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And, uh, I thought that maybe the three of us..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"could all become, like... like, friends or something."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Really? Well, okay."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- It's a father-son type of thing, huh? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I was thinking of expanding, and I'm gonna need some people on the outside."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I like where you're going with this."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I think you came to the right place."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"smuggling heroin through your anus?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You definitely look good. That's not what I'm saying."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. You button the top button and then they tuck it in in the back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- It is tucked in the back. - Is it?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Is it bunchy? - It's not bunchy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Let me see. That's exactly it. - How do I look?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You piece of shit! You no-good piece of shit!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Whoa, whoa, Frank! What's going on in here? What happened?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I had a minor stroke. No big deal. - What's with the gun, dude?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Did you send him a friend request?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- No. You... - Yes, absolutely. But no killing."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Needs to be killed. - Doesn't need to be killed."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Are you crazy? - No, dude!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- No one is more respected than dudes in prison, right? - Yeah."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Of course it is. This is totally hard."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- You want to get hard, don't you? - I want to get hard."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I want to get very, very hard. - Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't want to shove anything in my ass."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are and not shove anything into our asses!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, God! This is so weird. I'm really nervous."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I don't think I can handle two asshole dads."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oops."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You know, I loved your mother more than I can say."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And I'm sure she had her reasons, but she never told me."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I met your mom here in, uh... in Philadelphia."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"It was just before I shipped off to Alaska with Greenpeace."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- I do a lot of environmental work and work with kids. - Mm-hmm."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We... Here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This... This is my adopted family."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yup. In fact, um... - Huh."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Hello. Those are your brothers and sisters."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Your family just got a little bigger today."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Okay, thank you very much. - And anything here, at all times, is yours."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Anything in my life is yours."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- These are cool speakers. - Yep. They're yours. Take 'em. Take 'em."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"But if you want them, just... Uh... Africa."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Yes. Yes, Africa. - Right? Sudan."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I went from the Sudan... I was in Darfur."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We had a water-purification program there. So much work to be done there."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Well, for better or worse, I came back here a couple of years ago."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And I think it was for better, 'cause I'm doing this work..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"uh, starting some programs for Sacred Cross Hospital, which I think is very promising."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"There's been a lot of..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Oh, so many things we do. - Phases."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Something like... - I know. I know. It's..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- A lot of different... - Chapters."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Kinds of... kinds of things. - I want to hear anyth..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Son of a piece of shit!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Hey, you gotta relax there, Frank."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"He won't make me his friend. How am I gonna find him if he won't make me his friend?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Be patient. It's a process. - Yeah, bro. Come on."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Stop saying that. You have friends. - I got you. I got this guy Tom."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Right, yeah. Tom doesn't really count though. He kind of, like, comes with it."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Screw this! I'm gonna just follow Dennis and Dee around."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Sooner or later, they're gonna bump into this bastard."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"And we're gonna just jump him and beat him over the head with a baseball bat!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Frank, come on. They're gonna see that coming a mile away."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Man, we need to be more devious, more cunning! - Uh, that's not very hard."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"That's some weak ass-buster shit, bro."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"This bastard destroyed my lineage. He must be smashed."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We're gonna smash him, friend. We're gonna smash him good. We know people."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Look, Frank, uh, we know a guy on the inside we can talk to."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"He might be willing to help us out with the situation here."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You guys are fast. I'm proud of you."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- Thanks, Dad. - Okay. Now, here's how it's gonna work."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"I'll have a guy meet you in the bathroom in about 10 minutes."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Now he doesn't mind sifting through the feces, so don't hold back."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We don't have anything in our butts."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"- But we're still hard. - Yeah. Oh, you should see how hard we're getting."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, we are getting so hard. It's, like... Whew!"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Let me get this straight."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"You come to me empty-handed and you want my help?"
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Yeah. And, look, we are really, really sorry about that, Dad."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"But if you could give us some advice on how to handle a certain situation..."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"then we promise we will come back with our butts filled."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"We need to find our friends' father so that we can give him a serious beating."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
"Oh, we're gonna kick the crap out of this guy."
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
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