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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Deception Verification (S07E07)

"Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown."
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"and I need a welcome-home gift for him."
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"As he's been at sea, perhaps something"
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"Okay, well, I don't know how much you want to spend,"
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"but I do have this pretty cool Aquaman statue."
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"Aquaman?"
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"I'd rather just sell it to a real collector."
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"How about a Batman squirt gun?"
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"into buying something I don't want."
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"Now let's talk Aquaman."
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"What were they thinking, putting Doctor Octopus's mind"
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"in Spider-Man's body?"
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"Well, I've been quite enjoying that."
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"It combines all the superhero fun of Spider-Man"
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"with all the body-switching shenanigans of Freaky Friday."
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"You're an idiot."
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"I'm sorry, I've been kind of snippy lately."
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"Had to buy these pants in the men's section."
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"Well, we've all seen your mom."
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"That Butterball turkey"
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"was bound to come home to roost."
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"$1,200! That's my final offer!"
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"I'm sure Leonard is gonna love this."
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"Oh, right, a present for Leonard."
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"You better throw in that squirt gun."
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"Yeah, I don't know."
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"Ooh."
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"Ah."
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"And... oh."
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"That's me getting rescued after I fell in."
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"Yep."
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"Here's some money. Thank you."
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"That's what us salty sea dogs say"
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"when we have to go pee-pee."
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"Okay, here's, uh, $25. Keep the change."
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"Seriously?"
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"Oh."
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"Well, here's, um..."
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"and a promise I won't call your boss"
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"and tell him you reek of marijuana."
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"Oh, Penny, I see you've ordered pizza."
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"That's nice."
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"Oh, that's a rather earthy cologne."
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"Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal together"
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"but I kind of feel like eating alone tonight, so..."
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"With your Italian pizza and my Chinese noodles,"
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"we could play Marco Polo."
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"I mean, of course, a reenactment of a meal"
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"in the life of Marco Polo the Venetian explorer,"
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"not Marco Polo the terrifying water sport."
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"What, now... do you have company?"
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"You know what? Th-The toilet's been doing that."
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"Oh, I can take a look at it. Well..."
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"I'm quite familiar with plumbing."
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"Not to brag,"
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"You know what, Sheldon, it's okay."
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"You don't have to go into the bathroom."
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"That's curious."
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"If there's no one here,"
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"why are there two glasses of wine on the table?"
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"Oh."
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"Well, you know, I-I've got two hands"
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"and a bit of a drinking problem."
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"Of course."
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"Ask a silly question."
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"That's odd."
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"Um, what?"
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"There are takeout containers"
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"in the trash can."
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"So? That's my dinner from last night."
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"What's odd is they're in the trash can."
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"Okay."
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"Look, honey, I promise there's no one's here."
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"Hey."
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"You're kidding, right?"
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"I mean, you know"
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"I'm trying to lose weight."
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"God, I thought we were partners in this marriage."
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"How was dinner at your mom's?"
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"Awful."
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"'Cause we've got a deeply unhealthy relationship."
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"do you think you can get any samples of this from work?"
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"the square footage of her back."
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"Let me see."
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"I don't know."
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"Few weeks. Why?"
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"Please tell me you've been wearing gloves."
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"Like these swollen sausages could fit in gloves."
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"Howie, the estrogen's getting absorbed by your skin."
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"That's why you've been"
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"That's 'cause I'm a woman."
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"I've had years of practice riding the dragon."
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"I'll wear gloves next time."
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"It's still gonna take a few weeks"
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"for the hormones to leave your system."
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"I feel so stupid."
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"You still look great to me."
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"In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom"
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"and I'll prove it to you?"
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"I mean, that's just your solution to everything!"
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"Oh, and here's a fun thing."
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"two different words for spoon:"
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""planko" and "janko.""
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""Planko" is a spoon with food,"
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""janko" is a spoon without food."
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"I'm just distracted by something"
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"What happened?"
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"I fear Penny is being unfaithful to Leonard."
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"What?"
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"She claimed to be alone"
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"when there was obviously someone else in her apartment."
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"I have no choice but to assume the worst,"
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"given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage"
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"I don't think Penny would cheat on Leonard."
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"Oh, really?"
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"She and I once had a staring contest."
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"She clapped really loud and made me blink."
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"It's a small leap from there to sexual infidelity."
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"You're being ridiculous."
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"Amy, there were Chinese food containers..."
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