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Clips from 30 Rock - The Ballad of Kenneth Parcell (S06E06)

"God, I wish my first roommate hadn't died of old age."
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"Then you wouldn't have moved in, and I wouldn't have wasted"
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"feel better about yourself."
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"'Cause guess what?"
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"The back of your neck does look weird."
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"Why would you say that?"
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"celebrity friends who understand what I'm going through."
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"You see? Charlie from Charlie bit my finger"
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"and Knob Kardashian just texted me."
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"They're my new besties."
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"Well, I don't need you either."
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"like Sam, and she does web design, maybe,"
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"and I haven't met her yet."
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"Look out, New York, Liz Lemon is 41,"
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"Kenneth, you're a hard worker,"
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"I don't want to work for an organization"
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"that would throw away a tradition"
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"like the page program."
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"Think of all the famous people who started as pages:"
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"Steve Allen, Regis Philbin,"
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"Ted Bundy, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne gacy..."
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"Kenneth, I'm sorry."
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"Well, Mr. Donaghy, there's one thing you haven't thought of."
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"Who will give the NBC tours?"
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"No machine can repla..."
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"We're calling it "notkenneth.""
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"into notkenneth's database."
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"It knows everything you know, and more."
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""Why Jack why?" is a 2002 episode of Will and Grace,"
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"Daniel Day-Lewis as gay benchpress guy."
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"Why don't you write the show yourself?"
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"You take all the credit anyway."
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"I hope you dream of your death."
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"Hey, Hank."
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"I didn't think I was going to see you until dinner tonight."
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"Whatever."
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"Hank, is something wrong?"
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"Jack, I bought this company a year ago today."
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"but where I come from, anniversaries mean something."
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"Oh, really? Was it invisible?"
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"Sorry."
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"I drove all the way up here from Philadelphia"
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"listening to Garrison Keillor"
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"I used our new messenger system and sent the gift"
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"to your office on the 60th floor."
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"What's on 6?"
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"Oh, no!"
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"Hey, how does an adult make new friends?"
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"Hank Hooper's businessversary gift went to TGS."
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"TGSis a sketch show known for popular characters like..."
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"Error. Error. Error. Error."
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"Toofer, put that glass down."
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"That scotch fountain obviously was not meant for you."
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"Phillie phanatic, get away from him."
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"None of this was meant for you."
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"would suggest that you were producing good work."
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"You are not."
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"Lance Ito, you're out of order."
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"Line!"
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"It's not their fault."
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"It says 6th floor on the invoice."
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"Well, somebody made a mistake."
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"A dumb mistake."
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"And it wasn't the pages, and it wasn't the computer..."
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"Ha! It was Jack!"
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"Guys, Jack makes dumb mistakes."
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"No, no, I am better than you, Lutz."
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"Someone else is to blame, and I will find him or,"
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"more likely, her."
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"Twinsies!"
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"Ugh. I'd like to bite his finger."
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"Charlie."
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"you look amazing."
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"Charlie bit my finger,"
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"this is mankind."
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"And this, is Mr. Socko."
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"Oh, I know Mr. Socko."
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"Oh, no, you went there."
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"Man, do my feet hurt in heels sometimes,"
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"and other things that women talk about."
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"Sorry, I'm just trying"
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"Oh, sweetie, honey, oh."
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"I mean, how did you guys meet each other?"
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"And then when the song came up,"
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"we all went on stage."
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"But I get your point."
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"I need to go somewhere where someone like me"
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"would be hanging out."
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"To the Barnes & Noble bathroom."
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"Occupied! God."
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"I know it is. By my new best friend."
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"I didn't care for Mr. Socko."
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"In my day, socks just kept their mouth shut."
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"I'm getting to the bottom of our little gift mix-up earlier."
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"where it confuses 6 and 60?"
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"I don't like your tone, Rossitano."
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"Aw, it's okay. You messed up, buddy."
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"Hang on, Jack."
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"Are these two very ill children saying"
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"you messed up the delivery?"
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"That's unacceptable."
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"Hey, we all make mistakes."
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"Like farting when you're talking to three people."
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"No, a mistake is something a man does,"
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"like going to war without a reason,"
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"or executing a simpleton."
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"What Jack did"
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"No, no, Hank. It wasn't me,"
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"it was the machines."
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"Tell him it wasn't my fault."
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"My fault, a short-lived NBC game show in which homeless"
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"Damn you."
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"of Martin Luther King day?"
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"No, we need to decide which cell phone pictures"
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"Everyone, listen to Charlie bit my finger's new song."
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"♪ I'm rotten to the core mother... ♪"
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"Quiet!"
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"Mankind is trying to tweet about these clowns in Congress."
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"Excuse me, guys."
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"We're not doing your things,"
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