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Clips from The Office - WUPHF.com (S07E07)

"All right, good night, Gabe."
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"And fate has obliged me with plenty of battles,"
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"Uh-oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen up, listen up."
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"Everyone, follow me to the shelter."
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"My bad."
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"plugged into the same outlet, so..."
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"It's saying the server went down?"
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"Does anybody know that password?"
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"Wait, does anyone remember when it was set up?"
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"Lord of the Rings stuff?"
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"I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things"
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"that were happening at the time."
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"Why don't we just call the I.T. guy who set it up?"
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"What's the name of the guy in the glasses, again?"
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"Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. guys have been"
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""Shorts," "Fatty 2," "Lozenge" and "Fatso.""
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"I got it."
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"Try..."
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"but Pam got really offended."
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""Drama queen"? "Nosy"?"
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"Try "big boobs" with a "z.""
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"All right. Wow."
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"Yes. The important thing is"
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"this kept us secure, people."
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"Hey, I'm Wuphf. I'm Facebook."
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"What's up, Facebook?"
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"I sent you a Facebook message yesterday,"
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"I still haven't heard anything back."
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"You should've sent me a wuphf. A what?"
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"When you send a wuphf, it goes to your home phone, cell phone,"
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"email, Facebook, Twitter, and homescreen."
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"Wuphf."
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"Hey, Pam. I don't wanna be a lousy snitch."
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"Okay."
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"Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot,"
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"Oh, it's okay."
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"But it's not for..."
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"Yes, I invested in Wuphf."
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"It's actually a really great idea,"
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"I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set."
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"It will be a bonding experience."
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"I was looking at a trail map,"
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"because I've never actually been skiing."
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"Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company."
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"We could sell, but why think so small?"
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"Don't you work here full-time?"
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"Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people"
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"who haven't invested yet."
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"Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you."
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"That does sound fun to me."
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"for us kids to play in. We called it "Hay Place.""
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"Eventually, lawyers were brought in. But..."
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"That's all behind us. Hay Place lives on."
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"Watch it, watch it."
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"Hello! Welcome to Hay Place. A place for hay."
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"Don't forget to make a broom."
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"Oh, the petting zoo closes at 2:00,"
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"Hey."
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"I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay."
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"Roll in the hay, $5."
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"No, I meant..."
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"Uh, I've got a half an hour during lunch"
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"and the onion boil."
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"Perfect. So... Excuse me, get off of there."
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"Those are show bales, not play bales."
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"All right, thank you. I will send the contracts over right away."
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"All right."
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"I am on the first hot sales streak of my life."
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"because no matter how much she resists,"
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"And let's be honest,"
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"I can pretty much sell anything."
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"It's a new corporate policy."
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"Is this job really about the money for you, Jim?"
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"A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell."
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"When you're dealing with a large organization,"
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"Okay, some of these old guys walking around naked,"
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"But I deal with it 'cause it's policy. See what I mean?"
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"Nope."
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"Nudity makes me uncomfortable. Okay."
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"My gym allows it."
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"I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So, I respect it, and I just"
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"keep a low... You know, I look away."
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"Think about your commission cap"
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"as a naked old man in a gym locker room."
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"Excuse me, everyone. Sex!"
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"You had me at "sex.""
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"Pervert. You have all of our attention"
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"just by screaming anything."
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"What do you want to say, Michael?"
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"Wuphf!"
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"Good!"
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"Raise your hand if I'm describing you."
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"Great."
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"And I want to live at the top."
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"And there's a button that I can press,"
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"and launch that lighthouse into space."
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"For my current investors, things are going great."
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"We already have a buyer."
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"I don't even want to think about selling"
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"until our numbers get into the billions."
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"So, I've decided to open up a second round of investment"
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"Oh, God. Hold on to your wallets, ladies."
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"Did you ever think of Wuphf as an emergency notification system,"
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"Fun, communication, connection."
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"Well, it's tight, as with any start-up."
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"I'm sorry, nine days until what?"
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"Bankruptcy?"
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"Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend?"
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"I bought poles."
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"Well, since I have no incentive to sell,"
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"What now?"
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"Did you prank Dwight? No."
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"Yeah, it's not as fun if I'm not blowing off work."
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"I love you, but I'm kind of busy,"
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"so I need you to figure this one out on your own."
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"Oscar said Wuphf only has enough money for nine days."
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"Check this out."
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"- All that color. - Look at that."
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"Anyone can just throw numbers up on a chart."
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