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Clips from American Dad! - Stan's Best Friend (S07E07)

"# Good morning, U.S.A. #"
American Dad!
"as I saw him cut a hole in the bottom of his bucket."
American Dad!
"I am an American boy and I both crave and offer companionship."
American Dad!
"Steve, I've told you over and over..."
American Dad!
"I will never allow anyone in this house to get a dog."
American Dad!
"Ever!"
American Dad!
"I'm tired of his constant pleas for a dog."
American Dad!
"You think you can get something just by saying it enough?"
American Dad!
"But right after my dad left us..."
American Dad!
"No!"
American Dad!
"I refuse to discuss your dreams in the daytime."
American Dad!
"I said no dogs!"
American Dad!
"Whoa! Taking some liberties here."
American Dad!
"You were right, Francine."
American Dad!
"It feels so good to love a dog again."
American Dad!
"Oh, my God!"
American Dad!
"- Smith family? - Yes?"
American Dad!
"but he's only breathing with the help of a machine."
American Dad!
"He'd-He'd be all like, "My wi"- No, he-he-"
American Dad!
"I'm sure, in your grief, you mixed up the characters."
American Dad!
"You know, we've never even discussed what we would do..."
American Dad!
"If I was messed up like Kisses..."
American Dad!
"Okay."
American Dad!
"Why did you guys drag me out here to listen to this boring lawyer stuff?"
American Dad!
"Mr. Smith, I know this is hard..."
American Dad!
"You're real quick to give up on this dog, aren't ya, Doc?"
American Dad!
"Look, it's obvious I'm gonna have to cure the dog myself."
American Dad!
"What, you don't think I can do a major surgery because I'm not a doctor like you?"
American Dad!
"# It's my creation #"
American Dad!
"# Ooh, my creation #"
American Dad!
"Nuh-uh."
American Dad!
"Now let's move on to the distribution of possessions."
American Dad!
"to Blues Traveler's first album."
American Dad!
"What?"
American Dad!
"That's hot."
American Dad!
"That's a hot way to live."
American Dad!
"Jeff, you need to get those tapes back. Okay?"
American Dad!
"They were blasting Oingo Boingo at top volume."
American Dad!
"and started using my handy tube sock to dry my tears."
American Dad!
"I think my eyes might be pregnant."
American Dad!
"# Senta letter on a long summerday. #"
American Dad!
"Veterinarians give pets diseases..."
American Dad!
"You have a beautiful laugh."
American Dad!
"So you see, Patricia, I'm remarried now..."
American Dad!
"and we could really use the Blues Traveler money."
American Dad!
"Which is why we brought our lawyer."
American Dad!
"I just have one question."
American Dad!
"Will you marry me?"
American Dad!
"My baby's getting married!"
American Dad!
"- Well? - The procedure was a success."
American Dad!
"and put them where his testicles used to be."
American Dad!
"$6,000?"
American Dad!
"Stan, this is the sixth message I've left."
American Dad!
"Oh, I'm worried about your father."
American Dad!
"Okay, I don't know what you did..."
American Dad!
"Please kill this dog!"
American Dad!
"End this!"
American Dad!
"Look deep into his eyes, which are now his balls, and you'll see-"
American Dad!
"Okay, whatever that is, it's not Kisses."
American Dad!
"Don't listen to her, Kisses."
American Dad!
"##"
American Dad!
"Grab me something cold, will ya?"
American Dad!
"Saving him won't bring me back."
American Dad!
"You want to drive?"
American Dad!
"Penny!"
American Dad!
"Yeah, you gotta kill those sometimes."
American Dad!
"# I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day #"
American Dad!
"# And he's shining a salute to the American race #"
American Dad!
"# Good morning U.S.A. ##"
American Dad!
"Oh, my God. Please don't tell me Shatner died."
American Dad!
"You're looking well. Our presentation can now begin."
American Dad!
"A word of caution."
American Dad!
"I would refrain from sharing popcorn with the gentleman to your left..."
American Dad!
"He's kidding. Popcorn?"
American Dad!
"Hello. I'm Steve Smith."
American Dad!
"I'm sitting right over there."
American Dad!
"What?"
American Dad!
"As to why I am the perfect candidate to own a dog."
American Dad!
"But tonight, I'm calling on other folks to help me make my case."
American Dad!
"This is my best friend, Snot."
American Dad!
"We get a lot of comments when I walk him."
American Dad!
"That's enough!"
American Dad!
"I agree with Stan. I'm the only pet this house needs."
American Dad!
"What about me?"
American Dad!
"You can't be a pet unless someone loves you."
American Dad!
"Stan, don't you think you were a little harsh with Steve in there?"
American Dad!
"It's dog, dog, dog, all day long."
American Dad!
"If that were true, all I'd be saying is..."
American Dad!
""Jane Seymour from behind.""
American Dad!
"Just "Jane Seymour from behind..."
American Dad!
"Jane Seymour from behind," over and over."
American Dad!
"Jane Seymour from behind?"
American Dad!
"Stan, have you considered..."
American Dad!
"that maybe you won't let Steve have a dog..."
American Dad!
"You know damn well why!"
American Dad!
"When I was a boy, I had a dog named Freddy."
American Dad!
"my mom said Freddy was diagnosed..."
American Dad!
"with what is now known as Air Bud Disease."
American Dad!
"She told me the humane thing to do was to put Freddy down."
American Dad!
"My mom said to."
American Dad!
"Please accept your fate with dignity."
American Dad!
"Turns out Freddy wasn't even sick."
American Dad!
"They just didn't allow dogs at our new apartment building."
American Dad!
"And because of that super-sad story..."
American Dad!
"I will never have a dog in my home."
American Dad!
"It's such a sad story that I won't even undercut it with a joke."
American Dad!
"I'm justgonna let it end sad."
American Dad!
"Are you sure you don't want to come up with some joke to end that?"
American Dad!
"Nope. Keeping it sad."
American Dad!
"- Stan, we had a dog already. - I don't think so."
American Dad!
"We did."
American Dad!
"and you killed it."
American Dad!
"We also had another dog named Fuzzy that you didn't like or something."
American Dad!
"Francine, those were obviously dreams."
American Dad!
"- Hey, Roger. What's- - Where the hell have you been?"
American Dad!
"You are not gonna believe what's goin' on in this house."
American Dad!
"Things are really goin' to pot around here. Great. it's locked."
American Dad!
"I forgot my key."
American Dad!
"But that's not important. What is important is what's going on around here."
American Dad!
"You're gonna see, buddy. Oh, you are gonna see!"
American Dad!
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