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Clips from 30 Rock - Ludachristmas (S02E02)

"when I sat on your lap."
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"Yes. Funny."
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"So, uh, big plans for the holidays?"
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"that your family's perfect and you never fight?"
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"Jupiter. The eye of the storm."
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"Sir!"
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"She took a bus to Atlanta."
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"I am, Mother."
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"And there are only two nicer offices in the whole building."
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"Ludachristmas is tonight?"
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"and sing Christmas carols like I did last year."
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"What is this?"
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"Christmas is about gratitude and togetherness."
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"Oh, you really were in court?"
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"and I go to jail."
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"Permission granted!"
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"There's my baby!"
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"Hey, Liz, you want to go skiing up at Piper's Peak tomorrow?"
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"Psych! You can't go! It's the senior class trip!"
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"Uh, my first wife, Margaret."
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"Yeah, me too."
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"Show us what you've been working on, Wilma Shakespeare."
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"Uh, would you wrap these up"
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"Chris Stanek... your boyfriend!"
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"Is, uh, everything okay? Yeah, why?"
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"Oh, Mitch?"
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"Was she taunting you?"
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"Hut!"
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"Feminism!"
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"Good "Flashdance.""
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"Mr. Jordan, I know how difficult this is."
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"But you can get through this."
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"Except the murderer... He's the inspector."
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"Yes, Mother. I'm quite sure."
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"She should have been there."
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"Wow. Look at this carpet."
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"Homina, homina, homina?"
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"Maroney."
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"I mean, I'll tell her you said hi."
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"Oh, you're Mitch."
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"Oh, I wish."
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"You know, maybe you and I"
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"You should come over. I'll be in the hot tub."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"That's a filthy Christmas miracle."
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"It's got cheese and butter and caramel."
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"Come on, you can talk to Mitch about President Reagan."
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"Hey, dude, I thought you left."
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"Or maybe I could go and just not drink."
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"Ludachristmas! Ludachristmas!"
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"She's a natural athlete."
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"It was just one game, Dad."
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"You wish you were in my family."
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"So this Disney cruise in March. Are you in or out?"
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"We're gonna take a picture. Yeah."
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"while this country turns into Mexico."
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"Be careful. I'll cry."
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"Have you?"
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"Uh, had plans."
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"An evening out with the Lemons."
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"Who could ask for anything more?"
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"Great!"
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"That is not a Christmas tree."
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"Good for you!"
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"making it on her own so far away from home."
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"That gives us an excuse to visit New York."
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"Really? Life is too short?"
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"We take so much for granted."
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"We should volunteer at a soup kitchen"
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"Yeah!"
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"We should go downstairs and chop down the big tree!"
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"No, no, no, no, no!"
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"Your mother is killing me."
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"Mitch, that's a joke newspaper."
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"They're in denial."
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"Ah, ah, ah, Jack. It's on me."
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"I'm a teenager!"
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"I mean, just yesterday we went to see "Goonies" together."
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"You weren't supposed to know that, Liz. Sorry."
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"I mean, what else would I mean by "yesterday"? Duh!"
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"We were a little embarrassed, Liz."
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"Oh, you want grandchildren, Margaret?"
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"Because he's 17!"
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"What?"
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"You didn't even offer to pay for this dinner."
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"'Cause in order to stay sane, you have to go crazy."
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"So y'all probably shouldn't be listening to me."
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"Hey."
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"Well, thank you, Lemon. That's very thoughtful."
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"No, no. It's very easy to use."
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"If you want to photo-scan, you flip the switch to "PS.""
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"And if you want to paper-shred, you flip the switch to..."
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"Oh."
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"I'd like to make an announcement."
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"for whatever I'm going to do at the party tonight."
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"Merry Ludachristmas, everyone!"
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"Are you gonna do Horny Santa again, Frank?"
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"That was so funny last year"
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"Yeah, my parents are coming with my brother."
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"And we're gonna go see "Jersey Boys" on Broadway,"
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"and we're gonna go to that restaurant"
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"where they pretend it's Mars!"
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"God, you must be a ball of anxiety right now."
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"No. I'm really excited."
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"What are you trying to say, Lemon..."
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"No, I remember them arguing a lot"
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"during the gas crisis of '79."
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"But since Carter left office, it's been pretty smooth sailing."
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"You got that right."
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"So, is your mom coming up from Florida?"
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"Ha! Look at that. That's where she lives."
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"So are you alone for Christmas?"
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"No, I was gonna drive up to Vermont and surprise C.C."
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"She got JetBlue to accept an Amtrak ticket."
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"Tell her I'm... Jingle bells?"
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"Jingle bells, jingle bells?"
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"Surprise! It's your mother."
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"Merry Christmas."
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"Jack."
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"Isn't this the office you had before?"
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