Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa's Substitute (S02E02)

"I'm sorry. You're very nice, but it's the children I love."
The Simpsons
"Mr. Bergstrom is the first thing I think of when I wake up."
The Simpsons
"I feel that way about Homer."
The Simpsons
"You don't understand."
The Simpsons
"When he smiles, you see these teeth."
The Simpsons
"But when he laughs, you see these. The eyeteeth."
The Simpsons
"I don't know if he had braces, but they're perfect."
The Simpsons
"I notice little things about Homer."
The Simpsons
"Mom, this man makes you feel like there's nobody better."
The Simpsons
"-So does Homer. -Mom, are we gonna talk or what?"
The Simpsons
"You have to accept that I feel that way about your father."
The Simpsons
"Yesterday, he read us Charlotte's Web and cried at the end."
The Simpsons
"A book made him cry!"
The Simpsons
"Nobody gets back in after lunch without one igneous rock..."
The Simpsons
"...that's volcanic, and one sedimentary."
The Simpsons
"-Lisa, can I see you? -Yes!"
The Simpsons
"Yes?"
The Simpsons
"Your homework is always so neat. Does your father help you?"
The Simpsons
"-Homework's not his specialty. -It's okay. My dad could--"
The Simpsons
"-Not mine. -Let me finish."
The Simpsons
"Unless the next word was "burp, " don't bother."
The Simpsons
"In a sample taken in our classroom..."
The Simpsons
"...an inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!"
The Simpsons
"More asbestos! More asbestos!"
The Simpsons
"More asbestos!"
The Simpsons
"-Bart, can you really win? -Sure, why not?"
The Simpsons
"I knew you had personality!"
The Simpsons
"They said it was hyperactivity, but I knew better!"
The Simpsons
"-Yeah. -Now, go get them!"
The Simpsons
"He says, there are no easy answers! I say, he's not looking hard enough!"
The Simpsons
"You never lose appealing to the lowest common denominator."
The Simpsons
"-You'll miss Bart. -When?"
The Simpsons
"When your life takes you places."
The Simpsons
"Places where my intelligence will be an asset?"
The Simpsons
"I believe everything you say, with your words and Semitic good looks."
The Simpsons
""Dear Miss Hoover: You have Lyme disease. We miss you."
The Simpsons
"Kevin's biting me. Here's a drawing of a spirochete. Love, Ralph.""
The Simpsons
"Oh, that's great, Ralph!"
The Simpsons
"The Springfield Museum of Natural History..."
The Simpsons
"...will be closing down in two weeks."
The Simpsons
"Lisa needs to go to the museum, and I think you should take her."
The Simpsons
"The museum?"
The Simpsons
"Tomorrow? Oh, Marge, I'd love to, but I was planning on..."
The Simpsons
"Sleeping? Eating a big sandwich? TV? Spending time with the boy!"
The Simpsons
"...spending time with the boy."
The Simpsons
"-I'm concerned about you and Lisa. -Me too. They're drifting apart."
The Simpsons
"-Shut up, boy. -Homer, please."
The Simpsons
"You're trapped. You're not smart enough to get out of this."
The Simpsons
"-What's a "suggested donation"? -Pay what you wish."
The Simpsons
"-And what if I wish to pay zero? -It's up to you."
The Simpsons
"-So it's up to me, is it? -Yes."
The Simpsons
"And you think that people are gonna pay you $4.50..."
The Simpsons
"...when they don't have to, out of the goodness of their...."
The Simpsons
"-Mr. Bergstrom! -Hi, Lisa."
The Simpsons
"-Hey! You don't have to pay! -This must be your father."
The Simpsons
"His teeth were jagged, but he could swallow you whole."
The Simpsons
"Actually, they do know a great deal about mummification."
The Simpsons
"Gross!"
The Simpsons
"Creepy. But I'd rather have him after me than the Wolf Man."
The Simpsons
"-She said that? -No, but, you know, she--"
The Simpsons
"But you can tell, right? She sees everybody else's dad..."
The Simpsons
"...with a good education and says, "What did I do to deserve this?""
The Simpsons
"You must be a bigger man. There's a wonderful girl's future at stake."
The Simpsons
"-lf she's so great, give her an A. -I am."
The Simpsons
"You are smooth. I'll give you that."
The Simpsons
"He ruined my chance to get to know Mr. Bergstrom outside school."
The Simpsons
"I'll tell you what, why don't we invite him to dinner?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, Mom, that's wonderful!"
The Simpsons
"-Can I help cook? -Yes."
The Simpsons
"-Can I wear jewelry? -Sure."
The Simpsons
"Dye my shoes? Paint my nails?"
The Simpsons
"Does Bart have to be there?"
The Simpsons
"We request the pleasure of your company-- No."
The Simpsons
"My Lyme disease turned out to be..."
The Simpsons
"-...psychosomatic. -Does that mean you're crazy?"
The Simpsons
"Sometimes when a disease is on the news, it's natural to think you have it."
The Simpsons
"-Where's Mr. Bergstrom? -Don't know."
The Simpsons
"But I'd like to talk to him. He didn't use my lesson plan."
The Simpsons
"-What did he teach you? -That life is worth living."
The Simpsons
"The polls are open till the end of recess."
The Simpsons
"In case any of you have thought about this..."
The Simpsons
"...we'll hear final statements. Martin?"
The Simpsons
"I don't think there's anything left to say."
The Simpsons
"-Bart? -Victory party under the slide!"
The Simpsons
"Mr. Bergstrom! Mr. Bergstrom!"
The Simpsons
"He moved out this morning. He took his Copernicus costume."
The Simpsons
"Where is he?"
The Simpsons
"The train. How like him. Traditional, yet environmentally sound."
The Simpsons
"Yes. And it's been the backbone of our country..."
The Simpsons
"...since Stanford drove in that golden spike."
The Simpsons
"I see he touched you too."
The Simpsons
"-Thanks for your vote. -Voting's for geeks!"
The Simpsons
"You got that right."
The Simpsons
"-Thanks for your vote. -We forgot."
The Simpsons
"Oh, well, as long as a couple of people did. Right, Milhouse?"
The Simpsons
"Lewis?"
The Simpsons
"-Somebody must have voted. -What about you? Didn't you vote?"
The Simpsons
"I demand a re-count."
The Simpsons
"Two for Martin. Want another re-count?"
The Simpsons
"-No. -I want to make sure."
The Simpsons
"This way, Mr. President!"
The Simpsons
"Now boarding the Afternoon Delight...."
The Simpsons
"Mr. Bergstrom!"
The Simpsons
"Hey, Lisa."
The Simpsons
"-Hey, Lisa, indeed! -What? What is it?"
The Simpsons
"Were you just gonna leave, just like that?"
The Simpsons
"I'm sorry, Lisa."
The Simpsons
"It's the life of the substitute teacher. He's a fraud."
The Simpsons
"...or runs a band saw or God knows what."
The Simpsons
"You're right, I'm the best. But they need me over in Capital City."
The Simpsons
"But I need you too."
The Simpsons
"When you're middle-class..."
The Simpsons
"...anybody who cares will leave to help someone needier."
The Simpsons
"I understand."
The Simpsons
"Mr. Bergstrom, I'm gonna miss you."
The Simpsons
"I'll tell you what. Whenever you feel alone..."
The Simpsons
"...like there's no one you can rely on..."
The Simpsons
"...this is all you need to know."
The Simpsons
"Thank you, Mr. Bergstrom."
The Simpsons
"-All aboard! -So, I guess this is it."
The Simpsons
Show more clips