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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words (S20E20)

"HOOTENANNY"
The Simpsons
"You know, my wife Shirley, she's the real crossword ace in our family."
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"Fills in those letters fast as hail on a tin roof:"
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"ping-ping-ping, she's done."
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"Ah, Shirley passed away two years ago, but I'm still not over it."
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"Aw, that's so sad."
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"Hey, what can you do? Life keeps changing the music,"
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"but you gotta keep up the cha-cha-cha, huh?"
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"Let's see, I'll spread some Qs around."
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"That'll get my brain going."
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"Oh, I dropped my glasses. Oh, Shirley, baby, I let you down."
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"Hey, there are no lenses in these glasses."
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"Let's see, that's "Enrico Fermi", and there you've got the "Pet Shop Boys,""
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"and cross the T and zing the Z and skit-skat skoodily I'm all the way home."
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"Lisa got hustled."
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"Oh, I blew it again."
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"Here's your money... drenched in your daughter's tears."
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"You know, for a bartender-bookie, you're awfully judgmental."
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"Boy, Dad seems awfully happy."
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"And there's something different about him."
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"He bought new shoelaces with fancy metal tips."
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"Dad, did you come into some money we don't know about?"
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"- No. - You got highlights in your hair!"
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"Uh... the sun did that."
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"And your car antenna has been straightened and re-balled."
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"What's going on?"
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"Well, sweetie, Daddy made a little extra money"
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"betting against you in the crossword tournament."
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"You'll understand when you're a parent"
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"placing large wagers against your own children."
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"I hope you're not mad."
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"No, I'm not mad."
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"You sure you're not mad?"
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"No. I'm not mad."
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"You sure you're not mad?"
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"Mr. Teddy, can you ask Lisa if she's mad?"
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"What's that, Mr. Teddy?"
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"You're saying that you know women,"
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"and that when women say they're not mad, they're madder than ever?"
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"Oh... she's gone."
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"Can you drive me home? I'm a little drunk."
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"Lisa?"
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"Lisa?!"
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"Lisa, sweetie, please look at your Daddy."
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"You stopped being my Daddy as soon as you bet against me!"
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"All I have now is a mom, which is why I'm taking her maiden name!"
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"From now on, I'm Lisa Bouvier!"
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"Hey, Mr. S. Lisa B."
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"No...!"
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"Would you like to buy some band candy?"
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"Yes...!"
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"Lisa's mad at me, and now she's using"
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"Marge's maiden name instead of mine."
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"Homer, whatever you done to that little girl,"
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"you just gotta do something even nicer to win her back."
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"but there's still a chance she'll take you back as a Daddy."
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"So the name "Lisa Simpson" is available, huh?"
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"Lotta goodwill attached to that name. I gonna take it."
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"Lisa's Tavern, Lisa speaking."
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"I'm honored that you chose my name, but it's not that great."
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"Hey, Bouvier was Jackie Kennedy's maiden name."
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"Really? I never knew that."
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"What did you think her name was before it was Kennedy?"
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"Jackie "O." Like SpaghettiOs."
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"I thought that was where her money came from."
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"Look, why don't you cheer up by doing a New York Times crossword puzzle, huh?"
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"I'm through with crosswords."
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"My innocence died in those 441 little boxes."
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"It might be a fun way to kill a couple hours."
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"A couple hours? I can do the Sunday puzzle in less than one hour."
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"A couple of hours."
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"Diets!"
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"Oh, Will Shortz, you clever rascal."
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"And a new record time."
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"Wow, it's almost as if Dad planted that message."
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"No, it must just be a weird coincidence."
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"But what if it's not?"
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"Oh, it must be."
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"Or mustn't it not?"
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"but did you plant a message to me in the New York Times crossword puzzle?"
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"New York Times Crossword Editor Will Shortz!"
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"And master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!"
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"I actually wrote that crossword."
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"And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!"
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"Yes, sir."
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"Well, I must admit, I'm kind of touched."
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"Nice."
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"You didn't get Homer's whole message, Lisa."
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"Dear Lisa,"
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"you make me so happy"
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"Sorry, they told me I needed 144 letters"
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"What was my point again?"
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"Oh, right."
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"Bouvier or Simpsons"
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"I cherish you,"
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"Hmm? Sorry, wrong flier. I meant this."
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"bond or real estate investment."
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""Dumb Dad Sorry For His Bet.""
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"Well, I had a little help from this guy."
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"MARRY ME, MISS HOOVER"
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"Now if you'll excuse me."
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"and I won't be home till 3:00 in the morning!"
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"Wow, nobody gives better parenting advice than childless drunks."
The Simpsons