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Clips from Superstore - Mateo's Last Day (S02E02)

"- Come on! - No, I'm not gonna beat you up."
Superstore
"Oh, so you'd just rather I get kicked out of the country?"
Superstore
"I thought you were my friend."
Superstore
"I am your friend."
Superstore
"That's why I offered to marry you."
Superstore
"For the last time, I will not marry you, Jonah!"
Superstore
"I-I don't wanna marry him."
Superstore
"I just think that he should wanna marry me."
Superstore
"Never mind. Keep shopping."
Superstore
"Look, I know you don't want to hurt me,"
Superstore
"but not doing this is hurting me."
Superstore
"So..."
Superstore
"if you're really my friend,"
Superstore
"please, beat the hell out of me."
Superstore
"Okay, let's do this."
Superstore
"Let's rumble."
Superstore
"Oh."
Superstore
"Why are you stretching your legs?"
Superstore
"That's where the power comes from."
Superstore
"Okay. How do you want to do this?"
Superstore
"Uh, I don't know."
Superstore
"I'm not really much of a fighter."
Superstore
"I guess just start with a punch in the face?"
Superstore
"Yeah, yeah, okay."
Superstore
"Uh, uh..."
Superstore
"Yeah, just... yeah, okay, cool."
Superstore
"Uh, on second thought, open your eyes."
Superstore
"Here we go."
Superstore
"and... and that's weird."
Superstore
"Oh, come on."
Superstore
"Uh, don't think of it as a hate crime."
Superstore
"Well, I wasn't."
Superstore
"You could just stomp on his head."
Superstore
"Yeah, how about I just do this?"
Superstore
"What if I just kind of go like this?"
Superstore
"And you just sort of walk into it."
Superstore
"Maybe this is better? Yeah."
Superstore
"- Come on, just hit me. - I'm trying, okay?"
Superstore
"- Say something mean. - Like what?"
Superstore
"Um, I don't know."
Superstore
"I'd rather be deported."
Superstore
"Mateo, it's not that easy to just punch somebody"
Superstore
"that you're not fighting with."
Superstore
"Fine. Then let's fight."
Superstore
"- Okay, but I... - Hit me, wuss."
Superstore
"- Well, I-I... we already... - Come on, hit me."
Superstore
"Well, I... this is not necessary."
Superstore
"Hit me."
Superstore
"All right!"
Superstore
"I could tell he hit you hard because it's the only time"
Superstore
"I've ever seen your hair move."
Superstore
"I thought it was gonna be one of those"
Superstore
"straight guy things where I hit you and you hit me back."
Superstore
"Why isn't pacifism a straight guy thing?"
Superstore
"I don't know. It just isn't."
Superstore
"So... what are you gonna do now?"
Superstore
"Just... just talk to Jeff."
Superstore
"He cares about you. You'll... you'll work it out."
Superstore
"Yeah, maybe."
Superstore
"I'm sorry I didn't come through for you."
Superstore
"All right, we have been talking and..."
Superstore
"We'd like a fourth box added, labeled as "Other.""
Superstore
"That's it? "Other"?"
Superstore
"We're very excited about "Other," Maureen."
Superstore
"Okay, fine. "Other" it is."
Superstore
"I missed the Captain's dinner for this."
Superstore
"All right."
Superstore
"- "Other." - Hey, I'm happy with it."
Superstore
"- Boom. - Did it!"
Superstore
"- Hey, good job. - Yeah."
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"I'm gonna just go dock your pay,"
Superstore
"'cause you should have been working all this time."
Superstore
"Slacker."
Superstore
"You got bird seed in your hair."
Superstore
"Did you give her the cookies?"
Superstore
"I gave them to her."
Superstore
"You don't have to eat those."
Superstore
"Well, I can't because they're dominoes."
Superstore
"Look, I haven't worked in six months."
Superstore
"GameStop said they were cutting back,"
Superstore
"but then I went in there, and they hired four new girls."
Superstore
"So then I get on the computer,"
Superstore
"where I'm the guy who can win for a change."
Superstore
"Oh, forget it. I'm not explaining it right."
Superstore
"No, no. I get it."
Superstore
"I have tons of debt. My marriage is struggling."
Superstore
"And it all feels like it's never gonna change."
Superstore
"Wow."
Superstore
"Your life sounds as bad as mine."
Superstore
"- Uh-huh. - Timmy, one of the rabbits"
Superstore
"is eating the other one."
Superstore
"You know, it feels like ages"
Superstore
"since I've just sat and talked to somebody like this."
Superstore
"Yeah. This is... this is nice."
Superstore
"Friends?"
Superstore
"Friends."
Superstore
""And then this psycho stalker doesn't eat the cookies"
Superstore
"my mom offered her.""
Superstore
"You wouldn't eat the cookies?"
Superstore
"Well, they were dominoes."
Superstore
"Oh, no, he's way meaner to you."
Superstore
"He says you're a munchkin."
Superstore
"Glad to see you're feeling better."
Superstore
"He calls you "Lamey Amy.""
Superstore
"He's a good writer."
Superstore
"Jeff."
Superstore
"- Jeff, wait. - Hey!"
Superstore
"Ah, a little celebratory dinner tonight?"
Superstore
"I made us a reservation at the place with the fish tank."
Superstore
"I can't transfer."
Superstore
"What? Why?"
Superstore
"Uh... I just..."
Superstore
"It's complicated, but I... I just can't."
Superstore
"All right, well, I mean, we talked about it."
Superstore
"I would transfer but there's..."
Superstore
"No, but I'm just saying, if this is about your career,"
Superstore
"No, I'm not asking you to transfer."
Superstore
"I totally get that. It's not about the job."
Superstore
"Okay, but it would be a lateral move at worst for you."
Superstore
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