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Clips from The Golden Girls - That Was No Lady (S01E01)

"Once? You've been hit by more lightning than the World Trade Center!"
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"I was seven and he was eight."
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""Acts of swine.""
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"What?"
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"Oh, Blanche, you remember a few days ago"
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"Shut up."
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"It was a very pleasant place over on Biscayne Bay."
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"Ma!"
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"All is forgiven!"
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"- Bowling? - Yeah, you could rent shoes there."
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"You kids get to be middle-aged, you think you know everything!"
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"Girls, let's go cruising."
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"Your heart is true"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"And the card attached would say"
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""Thank you for being a friend""
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"Who was known as the world's fastest human being?"
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"- Dominic Tansey. - It says Jesse Owens here."
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"Trust me, it was Dominic Tansey. He got four women pregnant in one night."
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"Two in New York, two in New Jersey."
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"Girls, I am so excited! I am finally going to do something"
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"you've heard me talk about doing for years!"
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"You decided to install a trapeze over your bed."
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"- No. Actually, I'm talking about this car. - Oh, Blanche, it's beautiful!"
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"- Can you afford a car like this? - Only if I can unload my old one."
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"Oh, that won't be any problem. That's a wonderful car."
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"Rose, you need a car. Why don't you buy it?"
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"No, no, I couldn't sell my car to Rose. She's my friend."
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"My great granddaddy always used to say,"
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"there are two things you never sell to a friend - a car and a slave."
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"'Cause if either one of them quits working, you'll never hear the end of it.""
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"'Course they hanged my great granddaddy."
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"He said a lot of things he shouldn't have."
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"- What'll you give me for it? - Oh, I couldn't buy your car."
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"It's not my type."
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"I want a car that says "practical.""
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"Your car says "available.""
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"Well, just take off my personalized plates!"
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"Rose, I'll tell you what. Take the car for two weeks."
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"- Oh... - Just try it out."
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"- Well... - No questions asked."
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"What the heck, you only live once. Might as well be daring!"
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"Rose, it's a used car - it's not a seat on the space shuttle."
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"Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Blanche, I need you to give me a manicure."
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"Rose, I need you to lend me your pearls. Ma, I need you to stay off my back."
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"What? What'd I do?"
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"I am going out with a new man tonight and he is not Italian."
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"- Oh, who is he, Dorothy? - Oh, his name is Glen O'Brien."
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"- Where'd you meet him? - His name is O'Brien."
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"Two to one, she met him at a gin mill."
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"He's a teacher at the school where I've been subbing."
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"- A gorgeous gym teacher. - Ooh..."
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"I noticed him a few times and today, as luck would have it,"
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"I found myself right behind him in the line in the cafeteria."
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"After I butted ahead of 25 students."
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"Anyway, we started talking and in 30 seconds, I was in love."
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"- And he asked you out? - Yes! We're going out to dinner tonight!"
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"I cannot believe how excited I am! I mean, he's practically a stranger,"
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"and I am crazy about him! I haven't felt this way about a man ever before."
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"Oh, honey, you've been hit by the thunderbolt!"
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"Love at first sight! It happened to me once."
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"- I was hit by the thunderbolt once. - Probably a direct hit to the forehead."
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"It was the first time I saw my Charlie."
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"It was a hot Minnesota summer..."
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"and he had put up one of those little stands on the sidewalk."
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"- Selling lemonade. - Insurance."
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"And I bought a nickel policy on my red wagon."
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"And right after that, my wagon was destroyed."
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"- How? - Some hogs trampled it."
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"I was hauling home a smoked ham for Mama and I think it set them off."
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"Anyway, that's when I fell in love with Charlie."
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"He paid for a new wagon - even though my policy didn't cover acts of swine."
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"- It's amazing. - What's amazing?"
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"Oh, I don't know. A lot of things."
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"- Like? - Like you."
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"- Hardly. - Like me."
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"- Definitely. - Like us."
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"These past three weeks have been amazing."
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"They have been pretty amazing."
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"It's amazing that I just made love in the daylight."
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"Why is that amazing?"
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"Can't hide anything in the daytime."
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"At night, I could be Godzilla, you'd be thrilled."
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"I'm thrilled, period. Everything about you thrills me."
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"I turn around to see who you're talking to. I can't believe it."
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"Believe it. I love you."
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"And everything that I used to worry about in..."
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"Like?"
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"Like, like, how do I look, how do I sound..."
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"is my breath bad..."
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"...what's jiggling."
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"Well, let's see."
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"Oh, and you. You are amazing."
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"You are warm and loving and caring and smart and funny..."
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"and I don't have to wear flats when I go out with you."
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"I have an idea. Let's cut school tomorrow and go to the Bahamas"
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"and not leave our hotel room until the board of health threatens us."
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"Dorothy, listen."
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"What?"
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"- I have to tell you something. - What? What, what, what?"
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"- Oh, boy. - Oh, God."
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"I'm married."
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"It's not a good marriage, Dorothy. It was over years ago."
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"I can't believe this. You lied to me."
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"No, I didn't lie. I'm telling you now."
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"- I'm getting out of here. - No."
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"- Let go of me. - No, you got to listen."
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"- Please, you have to listen! - Listen to what, listen to what?"
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"How your wife doesn't understand you? How you stayed because of the children?"
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"I did stay for the children."
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"My wife would have moved them back to her home."
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"My kids would have been clear across the country."
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"I couldn't bear to lose them, so I stayed."
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"Your children are over 30. You're still staying for them?"
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"I couldn't leave her because of all the things..."
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"Look, I don't want to hear about it."
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