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Clips from Eastbound & Down - Chapter 2 (S01E01)

"Let's hear it."
Eastbound & Down
"Let's hear it. Keep going. Keep it going."
Eastbound & Down
"...your fastball or your cut fastball?"
Eastbound & Down
"Maybe just signing some balls instead."
Eastbound & Down
"- How's it going? - You ready to get this thing going?"
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"- What's this? - That's an Ashley Schaeffer BMW polo."
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"- Here we go, okay? - Take it easy on me."
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"I'd hate if I slipped up and put a hole in one of these top-of-the-line vehicles."
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"Well, the thing is, you know, I didn't even warm the old whip up."
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"I'm Ashley Schaeffer. I got a whole lot full of goddamn BMWs."
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"I just feel like it'll be stupid if I drive myself, because I'm famous."
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"I need you to stay the whole time. That's what drivers do."
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"You got a little tendinitis or something? Come on."
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"How about you throw the ball, all right?"
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"Well, you're doing a good job of that on your own..."
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"No, how about we just go back and we'll sign the rest of the balls.?"
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"What feels good is just this."
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"- Come on. - Go on."
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"I'll be goddamned if I fork out 200 bucks..."
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"Clegg!"
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"- Clegg! - Kenny!"
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"- Please, do. - I'm an athlete."
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"- You got a classy joint here. - Yeah."
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"But I'm a little concerned about your bill of health. [ R ]"
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"Got a dental dam in the glove compartment of my truck."
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"- Two hundred bucks to come.? - Two hundred bucks, cash."
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"Well, actually, the thing is, Kenny..."
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"I brought my glove and it'd mean a lot."
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"- Love is inappropriate sometimes. - There are children present."
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"...I'm still your number one goshdarn fan, man, 100 percent."
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"I'm trying so hard not to be an asshole to you guys, okay?"
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"I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you guys."
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"Okay, well, if you can't come, you can't come."
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"No."
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"Yeah, right now."
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"- Know what.? - Thought you were a ball player."
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"I accept your offer."
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"Kenny. Kenny, stop."
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"- I'll give you a ride. - No."
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"...every motherfucker wants to get a piece of your ass."
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"Clegg!"
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"Yes. Anything you want, Kenny Powers."
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"You'll have to chalk this up to another heartbreak, just like back in high school."
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"- I'm not a goddamn ape. - Really?"
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"That's it."
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"- All right? - Whoa!"
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"This isn't a game."
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"Give me that toilet paper, Kenny."
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"- I got enough. - That's not enough."
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"Why'd you bring a football?"
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"He's with me. Don't bust balls."
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"Are you crying?"
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"Fucking awesome!"
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"...and I'm flat-out denied a single goddamn pitch."
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"Pitch was never part of the deal."
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"Of course, I do. I'm famous."
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"Yeah, I think he just got overheated."
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"Well, just seems to me an establishment such as this..."
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"Let's do this. I got my two favorite students here."
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"Yeah, I'm gonna pay you 100 bucks."
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"Let's pump some iron, bitches."
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"Too sensitive."
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"No one's gonna look down on you because you drove yourself."
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"What's with them yellow towels? Those are pretty..."
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"Are you asking me to this dance?"
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"April, are you asking me to this dance?"
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"Fine."
Eastbound & Down
"Scott, heads up. Thank you."
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"I can't open myself up to that."
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"Why is there silver shit all over your face?"
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"What the fuck is your name again?"
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"No, it's not a crime."
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"Funny thing."
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"This sucks dick."
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"What does it look like?"
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"Why didn't you hit the target?"
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"No."
Eastbound & Down
"- I got some shit set up already. - What?"
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"I mean, who in their right mind..."
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"- He was supposed to wait for me. - Who's that?"
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"I'm not gonna get out on that dance floor with you."
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"- It's not a microphone. - I know."
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"No, you... I can imagine. I saw you lots on TV."
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"You have a driver?"
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"Oh, going back to the majors."
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"Actually, I think he's in training..."
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"- Yeah! - The people wanna see it!"
Eastbound & Down
"There's one image in my life that consistently makes me happy..."
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"I gotta go. I gotta go."
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"I'm not trying to be crude with you. This is real."
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"You're inappropriate."
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"Man, this thing's got some power."
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"Another part is staying strong and fit."
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"That's right, Stevie."
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"Well, obviously, I'd love to, you know, do that..."
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"I saw your dick."
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"I think you're underestimating your fan base."
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"Back in the spotlight, man."
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"You know, that's how the plague started back in the day."
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"- I thought you had a big event. - Yeah, I did."
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"It's important. One time, I was invited to come to a social gathering."
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"- I hated that birdbath. - I broke that for you. I knew you hated it."
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"A stork wrapped around a tree branch."
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"Look, I paid you $200, okay?"
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"All right, everybody, who wants to meet Kenny Powers?"
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"If you won't listen to my words, then listen to my dancing feet."
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"What'd you just say?"
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"Well, maybe I could."
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"It's actually technically an orangutan."
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"No, I'm not going to any depressing shit like that."
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"Is that such a crime?"
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"You sure you don't wanna maybe meet in the middle somewhere?"
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"It's right here and it says that you're a teacher supervisor."
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"...and every fucker I pass is asking me to smoke one."
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"When you're on top of the world..."
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"- What did you just say? - Nothing."
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"- I'm hiding the Jet Ski. - Why are you hiding the Jet Ski? [ R ]"
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"I guess Kenny Powers ain't what he used to be."
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"What's he out there doing?"
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"...no matter when I think about it, and that image..."
Eastbound & Down
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