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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Natural History (S06E06)

"[Ted Narrating] Kids, one morning in 2010..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Key Ted Mosby's car."
How I Met Your Mother
"for wanting to tear down a beautiful old building called the Arcadian."
How I Met Your Mother
"which, as you both know, is Dad's crossword day."
How I Met Your Mother
"and important people in New York..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Can you imagine if our college selves saw us like this?"
How I Met Your Mother
"They'd pelt us with their Phish bootlegs."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Mmm. - Oh, God. Remember Russell?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you guys seen Russell? I'm supposed to drive him to his mom's funeral."
How I Met Your Mother
"I wish I knew you guys back then."
How I Met Your Mother
"go to work for the N.R.D.C. and save the world."
How I Met Your Mother
"One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning..."
How I Met Your Mother
"That's like someone telling us..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sure they don't remember."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, Barney, there you are."
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, the Captain was Nathan Detroit to my... assistant stage manager."
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall and Barney here are the future of Goliath National Bank."
How I Met Your Mother
"The Captain pretty much paid for this entire shindig."
How I Met Your Mother
"## [Upbeat Pop]"
How I Met Your Mother
"## [Man Vocalizing]"
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"## [Ends]"
How I Met Your Mother
"And to be clear, I am referring to your testicles."
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"Sorry. Sorry."
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"Watch."
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"Right? Right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Look, I don't hate all of it. Tonight's fun."
How I Met Your Mother
"Poo-poo."
How I Met Your Mother
"You have got to be kidding me."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, what are we protesting tonight?"
How I Met Your Mother
"The government's oppressive top hat-and-monocle tax?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, right. Beautiful old building."
How I Met Your Mother
"- You're here to knock it down. - [Chuckles]"
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"- Hi. - Hi."
How I Met Your Mother
"Yeah, old stuff's great."
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't..."
How I Met Your Mother
"You're right."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, pleased to meet you, Captain."
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"I'm Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville."
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"- This is Ted. - Capital."
How I Met Your Mother
"Honey, I may cut out early. I'd like to go check up on the boat."
How I Met Your Mother
"The boat?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yes! The sea is all, like, "Ted, come hang out.""
How I Met Your Mother
"I like Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville."
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"You're coming on the boat sometime."
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"'Kay."
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"Destroy Ted Mosby."
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"W-Wait."
How I Met Your Mother
"- and pseudo-intellectual like... - [Echoing] Boogers."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, you don't spell "women" with a "Y" anymore."
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"that I may never become an environmental lawyer."
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"Oh! Uh, thank you."
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"Oh! Zoey. There you are."
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"Is this real? Is this really happening?"
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"I want my crossword day back. Okay?"
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"'cause the Captain's all out of white zin?"
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"Like that's gonna get my sympathy."
How I Met Your Mother
"Technically, I never lied."
How I Met Your Mother
"- and I responded with made-up words. - What?"
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"Okay, look, Lily, what do you want from me?"
How I Met Your Mother
"to a man who calls himself the Captain."
How I Met Your Mother
"I hate boats, Ted."
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"It's not crazy at all. I'm the same way."
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"the Arcadian should be a landmark."
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"This should be useful."
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"Well, aren't you two clever?"
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"Guess what. This museum has seen every kind of prank you can think of..."
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"dinosaurs from the Cretaceous period..."
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"So, I hear my wife got you pretty good."
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"Tell you what."
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"Hey, what about this?"
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"I'll take you out on the boat sometime. Huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"in the Natural History Museum."
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""July 23, 1981. Incident report."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Marshall] Lily."
How I Met Your Mother
"I want you."
How I Met Your Mother
"Awesome. Let me just put a sock on the doorknob."
How I Met Your Mother
"No."
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"Yes, but I'm okay with that."
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"No, it's..."
How I Met Your Mother
"I've gone the way of Jane's Addiction."
How I Met Your Mother
"Actually, Jane's Addiction got back together."
How I Met Your Mother
"but it sounds like he hasn't changed where it counts."
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"Mmm."
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"There he goes."
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"That's the thing. You know."
How I Met Your Mother
"He's my dad."
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"I'm serious. It's a great look."
How I Met Your Mother
"Does it cost half as much as glasses?"
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"What are you doing?"
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"I don't need it. I'm gonna beat you fair and square."
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"You look like a basset hound."
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"because starting Monday, I got you in my crosshairs."
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"[Ted Narrating] And so Marshall stayed right on at Goliath National Bank."
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"I open the newspaper only to discover an op-ed written by Zoey Pierson."
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"- [Crowd Shouting] - You remember Zoey."
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"In those four column inches, she railed against me and my company, GNB..."
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"And as if that wasn't bad enough..."
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"She ruined crossword day!"
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"I can't believe this."
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"She singles me out by name."
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"Calls me a fat cat... me and my "fat cat friends.""
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"- We're not fat cats. - Exactly."
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"[Posh Accent] I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?"
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"- Impeccable, old bean. To industry! - Oh, bully!"
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"You see, every year, the Natural History Museum holds its Autumn Spectacular."
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"It's attended by some of the most powerful..."
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"and, thanks to Goliath National Bank, us."
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"Look at us. Huh? In tuxedos."
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"Oh."
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"- Nice monkey suit, Russell. - Yeah."
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"Oh, I'm sorry. I can't hear you..."
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"with that corporate noose around your neck."
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"- And don't even try showin' up to the drum circle this weekend. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know why? Because you can't kick a story in the nuts."
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"- [Both Laugh] - Hey, we're still those people."
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"One of these days, Marshall is gonna quit his job..."
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"Well, let's just remember, I mean, nobody's the same as they were in college."
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"You know, it's, like, "Oh, I wear a suit to work every day.""
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"Well, yeah, but you wear it ironically, like Ted's fanny pack."
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"Next time we go to Great Adventure..."
How I Met Your Mother
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