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Clips from Schitt's Creek - The Candidate (S02E02)

"- You go ahead."
Schitt's Creek
"- Look at your things."
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"- Oh... right."
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"- Well, I'm hoping you don't."
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"I was thinking we could have a little ladies' night"
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"at my place."
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"- Okay, well when everybody clears out,"
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"Twy? Call me if you get off work early!"
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"Great, yep, you too. Okay, all right."
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"I just had to reschedule my colonoscopy."
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"You walk into a restaurant,"
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"- Not exactly."
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"- Who?! - I don't know yet."
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"she is going to a bar to have her needs met"
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"- Okay, I think you're giving yourself a lot of credit."
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"Um now, how diverse is the clientele"
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"but I have every confidence that they are brilliant."
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"Trying to council to focus on the simplest thing"
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"- Exactly, it's beneath you."
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"- Well, you can't worry about them."
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"- Are you waiting for someone?"
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"- No, no, you're good."
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"So, Stevie..."
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"- You sound like my conscience."
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"- Uh, is what hard for me?"
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"- I know everyone in this town,"
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"So that kinda takes away the excitement of winning,"
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"Twyla asked me if I was running for council."
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"I would make such a great councilwoman?"
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"- She's not interested in politics!"
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"A little healthy competition never hurt anyone."
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"- That's the spirit."
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"- Hmm... On a scale of one"
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"to I'm-gonna-get-beat-up by-an-angry-local,"
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"I'm the one who should be at a sketchy bar meeting randoms."
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"- Oh? - Yes."
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"So the two of them on council together?"
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"That I should run? - No. Nope."
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"Isn't that wonderful!"
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"(Twangy blues song plays)"
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"and she is single, so."
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"- Um, from what?"
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"(Birds chirp)"
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"- Good Morning! - Hi, Twyla."
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"- I hear congratulations are in order, Mrs. Rose."
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"- Thank you, dear, for what?"
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"- Oh, should I not say anything yet?"
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"- Well, you could say something, think of it as a clue."
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"- Not say something about what?"
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"- Your wife's big announcement."
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"- Again dear, clue!"
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"- You running for town council! - What, excuse me?"
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"- No, I'm not running for town council."
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"- Oh, I must've misheard."
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"Everyone was talking about you standing up to council"
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"last week, so I just assumed--"
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"- Never assume, dear, It makes an ass out of both of us."
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"- It's not that absurd an idea, Moira."
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"to channel all that..."
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""passion" you have for this town."
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"- I'd sooner poke my eyes out with hat pins."
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"- Well, that's subtle."
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"- Well, I think you would make a great councilor."
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"- Well, the right person might be able to get"
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"a lot done around here."
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"- The right person, John, wouldn't be caught dead in this,"
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"they'd be running somewhere a little more..."
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"- What? - Moira..."
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"- Okay, maybe I should say somewhere less..."
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"- Well, let's hope we don't find it, okay?"
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"Are we ready to order, councilor?"
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"♪♪"
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"DAVID: Have you seen my black shoe?"
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"It's a lace up, probably lost in the sea"
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"of your dirty clothes?"
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"- No. - Ugh!"
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"What is going on here?!"
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"Why are your clothes crammed under my bed?"
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"- It's just temporary storage, David."
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"Look at your life!"
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"- I have been distracted!"
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"- Why is this wet? Ewww!"
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"- Because I kicked over a glass of water"
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"that you left on the floor."
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"- I wasn't drinking water."
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"- Okay, so maybe it was mine, what difference does it make?"
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"Ugh! - Oh my God!"
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"- Ugh! Anyway, I need the room tonight,"
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"because I'm having a friend over."
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"- What friend?"
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"- Um Twyla, we're gonna have a fun little sleepover."
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"- Mhmm... You and Twyla?"
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"- Yeah, we're gonna do face masks,"
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"and we're gonna talk about boys that we both know,"
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"and have dated."
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"with the girl, one on one?"
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"She could be a serial killer."
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"- Twy and I have tea together like, every day, David."
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"- That she serves you at the cafe."
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"- Because we're friends."
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"Um, so then where is Twyla going to sleep tonight?"
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"- Because I'd say she could stay under my bed,"
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"but your disgusting clothes are all stuffed under there,"
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"So... just wondering,"
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"where she'd... sleep!"
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"- Stop doing that with your face! - Hmm."
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"(Dog barking)"
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"- Bob, now that Ray's stepped down from council,"
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"I gather his seat is up for grabs?"
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"- "His seat is up for grabs?" (Chuckles)"
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"I could say something pretty inappropriate right now."
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"- No, but I could, that's a real set up."
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"- Yeah, yeah, but I was thinking, if his seat--"
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"- There you go again!"
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"- could be filled by someone with real experience..."
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"- Uh-huh. - You see, I played a significant role"
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"in Gerald Caine's campaign."
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"- Who's that? - Well, he won a seat in the legislature,"
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"and now he's a senator."
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"- Yeah well, town council might be small potatoes"
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