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Clips from Schitt's Creek - New Car (S03E03)

"You're entitled to keep things private from me."
Schitt's Creek
"- Okay, fine."
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"but I find that when I get tired,"
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"just one or two kind of help me focus."
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"- What are you talking about?!"
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"- Anyway, um,"
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"secret or no weird secret,"
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"we've gotta cover that thing up."
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"I hope you're not into contouring,"
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"'cause it's not really my thing."
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"So the low energy bulbs you installed in the bathroom,"
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"I'm finding the light to be very harsh, and um..."
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"did someone die,"
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"or are we going through like, a mid-life Goth phase?"
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"- Someone died."
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"Okay, I'm just finding the bulbs to make my skin"
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"look very jaundice-y."
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"- My great aunt died."
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"Okay, I can't tell if we're still joking..."
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"or not? - I'm not."
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"Okay, and now I can't tell whether you're playing"
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"into the joke, or whether um..."
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"you're telling the truth. - She was 78."
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"- So you're not joking."
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"Okay. Um, well first, I'd like to apologize"
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"for everything I've said since coming in here today."
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"- Why, you didn't kill her."
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"I take it you weren't very close."
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"- I actually really liked her."
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"That's probably why I liked her."
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"Anyways, it turns out I'm one of the few who did,"
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"because all of the arrangements have fallen to me!"
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"- Oh."
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"Um, well if you..."
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"need hel..."
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"I'd like you to finish that sentence."
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"- Oh! Um, I am happy to help..."
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"you in this time of need."
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"Thank you, as much as I appreciate"
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"your reluctant offer,"
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"I don't think you could handle it."
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"This whole thing is super depressing."
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"- Okay, I think will be fine."
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"So I am happy to help."
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"That is what um, friends say to each other, right?"
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"- Okay. Um..."
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"so I'm just gonna change into my funeral blacks."
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"And um, and meet you back here, then."
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"- Oh, sorry, we don't want any."
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"I'm just joking. Come on in!"
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"No, I'm not!"
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"Johnny: Roland! - Just let him in, Rollie!"
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"Come on in!"
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"- Thank you."
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"Entre vous, s'il vous plait."
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"- Hi, Johnny. - Jocelyn."
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"Would you like to join us for a game of cribbage?"
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"We play every day at lunch."
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"That's right, and Fridays, it's strip crib."
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"- Well, we can pretend."
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"- Now, I'm not staying long,"
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"I just came by to borrow some clothes."
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"- Ah, okay."
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"Honey, why don't you check your closet,"
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"and see if you got anything that Johnny can fit into."
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"Look, Moira and I are going to a used car lot today,"
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"and I just need to appear more um..."
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"- Official?"
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"- Casual. Casual."
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"You see, I've got a closet full of suits,"
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"but uh, I don't wanna be taken advantage of"
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"because I'm overdressed, I need to look like"
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"I don't have money."
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"- But you don't have any money."
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"Oh, I know I don't have any money,"
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"- Ohhhh, okay."
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"here's what I'm hearing you say,"
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"what you're saying is you wanna dress like me,"
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"because I look like I don't have any money!"
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"- I think I misspoke."
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"Well, that's what I heard out of both ears,"
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"one of them works pretty well."
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"- I mean, anything that looks..."
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"um, hip! I need something hip."
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"Hipper than these suits. - Hip!"
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"Oh jeez, yeah!"
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"Now you're speaking my language!"
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"Hip we can do!"
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"What do you want, uh PVC,"
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"or a Hawaiian shirt?"
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"Funeral Director: Sorry about the mess."
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"We're in the middle of a move."
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"Now unfortunately, we haven't quite found"
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"your Aunt Maureen's ashes,"
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"but we know they're here somewhere."
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"Okay, well, that's encouraging."
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"The problem is they all come in from the crematorium"
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"on the same day,"
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"and sometimes, they're not labeled."
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"- Oh?"
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"Is it possible someone else picked them up?"
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"- Unlikely."
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"I see your great aunt has a sister."
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"Yeah, they haven't spoken in 20 years."
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"- And a step-son. - He's in prison."
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"What? - I didn't know."
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"That side of my family has a bit of a reputation"
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"for conflict. - Okay."
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"- And philandering."
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"And fraud. - Yeah..."
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"- And gunplay."
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"But we should talk about urns for your aunt."
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"We'll just get this one, I guess."
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"Well, that's the shipping tube we pack the urns in."
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"- Found them."
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"Wonderful. Oh, that reminds me."
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"Can you get us some whitener for the coffees?"
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"- Oh... what have I been using?"
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"- Okay, I'm gonna put that down."
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"- And what about the service?"
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