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Clips from Schitt's Creek - New Car (S03E03)

"- Where are you going?"
Schitt's Creek
"You know, really don't have to go with me, Moira."
Schitt's Creek
"We can't be eating into the family funds."
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"You know, He's got a point there, honey."
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"Well, I'm not just gonna be wearing a suit today, David."
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"Did you get in a bar fight?"
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"I mean, she was a mess, but I liked her."
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"- Yes, it is."
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"Well, thank God it's not Friday."
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"but I need to look like I don't have money."
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"- And a cousin. - Who's also deceased."
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"Well, I'm sure her remains will turn up."
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"They were on top of the microwave."
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"Well, since it's just gonna be us attending,"
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"- Okay..."
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"so we-I think we can just..."
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"We bought a car just like this,"
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"- I'm from London,"
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"Is that when one of you is on the floor,"
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"Are we sure this is the right place?"
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"- Um, so what are..."
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"save some for later? - Later?!"
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"but we don't have a television, so."
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"- Okay, that was fun."
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"That's so sad."
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"I mean sure, on the surface,"
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"Well, it worked, because the price was right."
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"- What are these sad print-outs?"
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"They're for a proposal I plan on making to the family."
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"And what kind of proposal is this, Mr. Rose?"
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"Are the police auctioning off crime scene vehicles?"
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"- No, these are only examples,"
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"uh, for the proposal."
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"I think it's time we invest in a car."
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"I really don't see myself driving any of these."
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"- Now, these are just examples."
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"Yeah, I would rather drive a scooter."
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"And we all know how I feel about scooters,"
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"those stupid helmets."
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"All right, let's forget the print-outs."
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"All right? I just think..."
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"we could use a car."
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"Everyone has a car!"
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"Roland has a car, Bob has three cars."
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"Stevie has a car."
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"I want a car!"
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"- Does this site have boats?"
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"Okay, here's what I put together."
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"- Is that a spreadsheet? - Yes, yes, it is."
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"And if you'd just let me finish the pitch"
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"the way I planned it,"
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"things will be a lot more clear."
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"Okay, well, I'm gonna need the car on Friday nights."
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"- Absolutely not."
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"Meaning that I would get it Saturday."
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"We don't even have the car yet!"
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"Okay, we're just trying to work within your schedule."
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"Ohh! This is not your best pitch, darling."
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"I haven't even started the pitch, Moira!"
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"Okay, you know what?!"
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"I'm buying a car!"
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"End of story."
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"- Here."
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"♪ ♪"
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"- Oh, I insist."
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"This is a big decision, and there's no reason"
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"it should rest solely on your shoulders, dear."
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"You know, I actually like buying cars."
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"- And you're very good at it."
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"But sometimes your choices..."
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"are less suited to a family's needs,"
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"and more suited to a ponytailed lothario,"
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"cruising the Monte Carlo coast."
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"- Or like um, Vin Diesel."
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"- It's called style, people."
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"And you're brimming with it, darling."
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"But each of us is going to drive this,"
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"and a car says a lot about a person."
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"Not that we can afford a car that says a lot about us,"
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"We did decide to only budget $4,000..."
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"of my money."
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"You know, he's got a point there, honey."
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"Well, fault my overzealousness,"
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"but I think I can-we can find"
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"a zippy little vintage something on budget."
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"Not dressed like that, you can't."
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"You bought me this dress, David."
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"- I know!"
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"And it cost twice as much as the car you wanna buy."
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"No used car salesman is gonna cut you a deal"
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"dressed in archival designer silk."
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"Yeah, says the moving target in the Bespoke suit."
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"I've got a ball cap I can put on."
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"- Oh! - David's right."
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"But you know what?"
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"I could build an appropriate look..."
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"to mimic the trappings of a workaday woman."
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"- And if you'll notice, David,"
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"no cufflinks. - Wow!"
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"I am blinded by the disenfranchisement."
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"I wouldn't be surprised if they just gave you the car."
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"- Hey, sorry I'm late,"
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"there was very heavy foot traffic on the way over."
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"Do you mind putting these in Mrs. Hertzman's file?"
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"- Oh, hello!"
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"Who is this cool cat, and what did he do with Ted?"
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"- Very funny."
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"Unfortunately, the alternative isn't quite so..."
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"cool."
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"- Oh my God, what happened?"
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"Uh, you know, I'd actually prefer not to talk about it."
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"- Okay..."
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"Just for the sake of maintaining"
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"some professional boundaries."
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"- Yeah, okay, totally."
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"You owe someone money."
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"Alexis, I pay off my credit card bills"
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"two weeks in advance, what do you think?"
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"Okay, then why are you being so weird about it?"
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"I'm not being weird... about it."
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